Gutted

[Andithoughtiwasspecial]

Name changed. Been with P 6 years. Fell asleep on Sofa tonight woke up went to bed. P fast asleep in bed you tube on. Turned it off messages open last message to ex from 22 46 "I love you with every fibre of my being" There's no excuse is there? I thought we were happy. I thought I knew him. I thought many things but at the very least he lies to me. Any advice MN bar do not do the pick me dance. I suppose I decide what I want and do that.

[Andithoughtiwasspecial]

@pictish thank you

[feellikeanun]

Sorry you are having to go through this. Not sure if it's relevant but did she go on to have more children? If not could this be why she maybe wants him back?

[EvenMoreFuriousVexation]

Sorry OP. I have been in almost your exact position, right down to my teenager in the home. It's a bloody harsh kick in the teeth, isn't it?

If you ask him to go, does he have family he could go to? I sent my ex to his mum, as the OW/his ex wasn't "ready" to have him back yet but I wanted him out.

We were renting and I gave notice on the tenancy the next working day and started looking for something smaller for me and my DS. I take it you own your house - it doesn't sound like he'll make things difficult so hopefully no need for forcing a sale.

I hope he does the right thing and buggers off to give you space to absorb all this. Please take care, plenty of and some

[NCTDN]

I'm so sorry to hear this and that you found out in such a horrible way.

[truetuesdays]

Christ OP what a horrible horrible surprise for you.

Get rid of him. I'm sorry this has happened. 6 years is a long time

[litterbird]

Mmmmm not sure about this, when I read those texts it sort of sounds like she is hounding him trying to get back together...sounds like he is trying to stop her from doing it and telling her the reasons why. She is seeing these reasons as excuses. I wouldn't do anything yet until you have a frank and open discussion saying what you have seen. If you can get anymore evidence then get to it quickly. Only you can make that decision after this discussion. Good luck. Oh, and if he does go back, it wont last 5 minutes.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

That’s awful

Do you think he’s been planning to leave you for her?

[tanstaafl]

OP.
Name change fail warning.

[Sakurami]

I think he needs to show you the texts , the whole conversations to really understand what is going on. It seems strange that if he loved her with every fibre of her being that he would split up with her. And she him when they have 3 kids already. Just doesn't make sense at all to split for those reasons.

[Andithoughtiwasspecial]

@tanstaafl how so? Would be grateful if you could pm to say as would then delete. Have never namechanged before - never felt the need...

[DavidsSchitt]

It's not a NCfail as such. Don't worry about it. Your normal username isn't there

[HotCrossFun1]

Sorry OP, what an awful thing to happen. I agree with pp, if he goes back to her it won't last 5 minutes as they split before and moved on to new relationships, if they were truly 'meant to be' then the reconciliation would have been a lot sooner than all these years! They are probably both looking at the past relationship through rose tinted glasses, but that's not your problem. Hope you're ok.

[Santaiscovidfree]

Do not let him talk you round op...
It's over.

[jackieweaverhasauthorityhere]

So sorry OP, I'm not sure what can be salvaged from this, that's a pretty strong declaration and you deserve better

[BrowncoatWaffles]

Not a name change fail inasmuch as it's not linked to your other account - it's just in switching back and forth you've named yourself both @Andithoughtiwasspecail and @Andithoughtiwasspecial. Don't worry about it - people can follow :)

So sorry this is happening. If it's him saying this to her I agree absolutely that there's no real getting back from this. Is he likely to say, for example, he was drunk and maudlin last night? It's not an excuse, but prepare yourself for all sorts of random shite when you actually do talk to him.

You deserve better.

[jackieweaverhasauthorityhere]

Agree with browncoatwaffles if he says he was drunk and talking nonsense or joking or something, at least make sure you see the full conversation before you take his word for it .

[Andithoughtiwasspecial]

To those that asked yes she has had another child since. Does he have anywhere else to go? Family all too far away 600 miles ish friends maybe or not sure...

[Andithoughtiwasspecial]

I am just so sad. I miss my mum. And the man I thought was my best friend. Mum would have some big girl pants advice and no judgement. And my poor children. Another break up. Another move. More upheaval on top of covid a levels and so on. Everything feels like it has changed so quickly. But must have been on the cards for a while. I feel stupid for ever believing that this was for ever. Time to grieve. Thanks to you all.

[fuzzymoon]

I'm so sorry.
I take it you've spoken.
This must all feel impossible.
Your children will understand and they will be fine. You'll be fine too. Stay strong and all the best.

[feellikeanun]

So they split as he didn't want anymore children and now it looks like he is going to take on her other child as well as his own. Surely it would have been better to have another with her in the first place. It will never last but you will be well shot and hopefully a lot happier.

[BlueThistles]

How horribly deceitful....

you are better off without him.. I hope you get sorted soon OP..

[MsDogLady]

I’ve been thinking of you, OP. Have you confronted him?

[Andithoughtiwasspecial]

He isn't home yet. On way. Here goes

[MsDogLady]

Sending you strength...

[feellikeanun]

@Andithoughtiwasspecial

He isn't home yet. On way. Here goes

Does he spend the day at ex's house with the children?