Gutted

[Andithoughtiwasspecial]

Name changed. Been with P 6 years. Fell asleep on Sofa tonight woke up went to bed. P fast asleep in bed you tube on. Turned it off messages open last message to ex from 22 46 "I love you with every fibre of my being" There's no excuse is there? I thought we were happy. I thought I knew him. I thought many things but at the very least he lies to me. Any advice MN bar do not do the pick me dance. I suppose I decide what I want and do that.

What a dick! I’m so sorry OP.

I'm so sorry, OP.

I feel for his children if his own son is trying to get him back out of the house so quickly. Something's not right there. Sounds like you will be better off without the lying arsehole.

@Andithoughtiwasspecial Hope you're doing ok

And really, now that he's gone back to his ex, I wouldn't even worry if the baby is his or not. He's history now. And as it's a shitshow, they'll never be happy.

And you sound quite the strong person. I'd just get on with selling and moving on.

He'll try to convince you to have him back at some point, when reality kicks in for him. Just shut the door in his face then, you deserve better.

Clearly no future with this chap if he is lusting after his soon to be divorced wife.

Thank goodness you had no DC together..Makes you leaving much easier.

I am really sorry.

Phones and laptops are the way so many people are ''Busted'' these
days.
Modern day equivalent of going through pockets or bank statements.

[quote MizMoonshine]@Andithoughtiwasspecial accidents happen... In fact the toilet sounds more reasonable.
Make his life uncomfortable.
Do nothing for him.
You can't kick him out of the house but you can kick him out of the bed. And put a lock on the door.
You can call his mum too. Tell her why you're angry.
Make sure everyone knows he's being a piece of shit.[/quote]
You can't put a lock on the door if he half owns the property {At least not in England}.

Once he's been bought out you can.

May be an idea to block the wife on social media if you are getting notifications through other people.

It won't help you getting these notifications.

You are a class act. They, on the other hand are gigantic asshats. Onward and upward.

Is there any chance he'd been chatting to one of his children?

@2bazookas

Is there any chance he'd been chatting to one of his children?

No The OP has updated, but her updates aren't showing up in her colour

@BloggersBlog

If you’re going to come on a thread where the OP is clearly distressed and make dismissive pronouncements perhaps have the courtesy to have read it first

How are you doing OP?

@Andithoughtiwasspecail

I am so sorry that he turned out to be such a dick and I really hope you are progressing with your dick free life positively. You sound so strong. Keep fighting for yourself.

@Andithoughtiwasspecial

I'm sorry he has brought this drama to your life.

But after last night's announcement from Boris, what a fabulous Summer you and your children are going to have without this bell-end in your life. You can catch up with friends, answer to no-one and thoroughly enjoy yourselves!

Not that you have to think of him any more, but he'll either be alone and miserable or sleep deprived and up to his nostrils in nappies.

what a terrible time op

the ex wife is a total bitch to in all this

take care opx

What a bastard.

I hope you’re ok op

@Joinedjustforthispost I am OK. Concentrating on viewings selling and moving on. Have accessed some counselling through Bupa as I am struggling with how blind I was and feeling an inability to trust anyone- torn between blaming myself for being oblivious and feeling everyone is or will be a lying selfish arse - have withdrawn a bit from everyone but it's not good long term I know. Just need some help processing. Weirdly I feel guilty for being gullible/ taken in if that makes sense?

Don't blame yourself OP. He (& men generally) are master manipulators. You were trusting and invested - they are good qualities. Don't let him hurt you anymore. Please.

Think about his sitch realistically - an issue with his son. A new baby. Past trust issues between him & his wife...doesn't sound like a walk in the park at all.

You'll have the last laugh. Get up. Talk to your F&Fs. Be positive. Be you.

Op please keep talking we are all here for you , I think you are doing so well! Amazing lady!

OP every time I think about this thread I get angry for you all over again. You have nothing to feel bad about - this man is one of the worst I've read about on MN and he's up against some pretty stiff competition.

One thing I will say - there is a 90% certainty he will try and come back to you at some stage. Might be in weeks or months or even a year's time. Don't even contemplate it, no matter what he says. He is a godawful human being who doesn't deserve to lick the sole of your shoe.

Dont ever feel guilty or gullible
Its perfectly normal and reasonable to trust your partner.

Your instincts were spot on when you questioned if there was something wrong and to be firm about the message you saw.

He is a lying gas lighting creep, who cant even be honest to the person he supposedly 'loves with every fibre of his being'. In time you will appreciate you are we rid. Take care of yourself and your children, you have a fabulous future ahead of you now👍

Op have you had any luck with your house sale?

A few viewings in the last few days no offer yet. Have found something that would work for us if we sell soon (empty so chain free) and have an offer in principal for enough to buy. Fingers crossed.

Good luck and yes , fingers crossed !

Have you had any explanation from him? Is this why her relationship split up because the baby is your partners? What on earth would have happened if you hadn’t found those messages! I just don’t understand what he was thinking.