How to approach finding someone else’s lipstick in DHs car?

[ROTFLBSST]

How would you word it? DH works nights, me days. There’s opportunity for sure but no evidence. I think it’s human nature to jump to the worst conclusion but before I go nuclear how could I word it so if it is innocuous I don’t shoot myself in the foot either....advice gratefully received!

The garage story is BULLSHIT

Don’t assume too much. I was once given a lift home from a Christmas work do from a male colleague because we lived in the same direction and it saved me from getting a taxi home alone. Unknown to me my black chiffon scarf had slipped off without me noticing and apparently his wife found it and WW3 erupted. I felt awful as I knew how it must look and felt her pain. I would have hated to find anything like that in my husband’s car, probably wouldn’t have believed him either. So you see things can just be innocent mishaps.

@ROTFLBSST

To clarify about the garage thing, the mechanic took the car to his home it wasn’t in a normal ‘quikfix’ type service garage

I can get behind this part. My OH uses an independent mechanic who is a family friend. We've had both our cars come back (mine once came back with a lighter left in it), seats moved or adjusted, etc.

This part is believable for me

Wow op, you jumped to a conclusion 99 percent of us would have jumped too... I think you're being very naive to believe him. In the past 20 years I've been driving nothing has ever appeared by accident in any of my cars ever... yet your husband has deep red lippy under his drivers seat?

People leave things in cars for very innocent reasons all the time.

My ex bought a second hand car, and in the first week we had the car I found a used comb in the glove box. I wondered if he'd been cheating at first, until we spoke to his mum and it turned out that the car had been traded in by ex's Dad for a new car and we had unknowingly bought his dad's car from the dealer. His mum positively identified the comb (and it's little leather case).

Given the lipstick is old, I'd reckon it's fallen out the bag of clothes, or is something accidentally left behind by the previous owner.

You asked
He gave you an answer you find plausible.

This could be innocent but you really need to be wary. Don’t leave any stone unturned and look for other clues. I suspect more tbh

The pandemic has been happening since February last year. Is it really that likely there is an innocent just giving a lift explanation here? When he's said it must be the garage....?

I can get behind this part. My OH uses an independent mechanic who is a family friend. We've had both our cars come back (mine once came back with a lighter left in it), seats moved or adjusted, etc.

^ but of course they move your seats. They have to drive it and check you have working seatbelts for your MOT. Dropping a lipstick means a female mechanic did the checks. How many female mechanics work at this garage?

@Flittingaboutagain

The pandemic has been happening since February last year. Is it really that likely there is an innocent just giving a lift explanation here? When he's said it must be the garage....?

I can get behind this part. My OH uses an independent mechanic who is a family friend. We've had both our cars come back (mine once came back with a lighter left in it), seats moved or adjusted, etc.

^ but of course they move your seats. They have to drive it and check you have working seatbelts for your MOT. Dropping a lipstick means a female mechanic did the checks. How many female mechanics work at this garage?

Not only work there, but have lipstick on their person whilst working

I could have written your posts OP. Word for word. His excuse was exactly the same, word for word. I hope your story has different outcome. Mine was cheating and the OW wanted him to get caught. I believed him because I wanted to and wasted another 3 years....

Previous owner is plausible. As is garage.
I took a car to an independent garage. They put 50 odd miles on the clock so had clearly used it for a trip to the supermarket or something.

My guess, previous owner, if it had been there a while then it probably caused the hole in the matt. Iirc you said the make was rubbed off which would also make sense if it was rubbing against the matt.

Mat - doh!
Rubbing against Matt would be whole new world of trouble!!!

If another woman either dropped it or planted it, why wasn't it somewhere much more obvious than under the mat on the driver's side? Who in their right mind would plant a lipstick somewhere so weird if they wanted it to be found? You'd leave it in the glove compartment or somewhere, and definitely on the passenger side so the wife would find it, not under the bloody MAT under the driver's seat.

OP I think the mechanic story is a weird theory but I think this is far from a smoking gun.

Who in their right mind would plant a lipstick somewhere so weird if they wanted it to be found

Well, you wouldn't want the husband spotting it straight away and removing it. That would kinda defeat the whole purpose.

WaltzesWithSnobs Exactly! When my sister use to do it she would put them in places like under the bed, so the man didn’t just see it and remove it.

People must be pretty dumb to be having affairs during a pandemic. So sorry to hear what your going through op. I hope by now you've found a logic explanation.