How to approach finding someone else’s lipstick in DHs car?

[ROTFLBSST]

How would you word it? DH works nights, me days. There’s opportunity for sure but no evidence. I think it’s human nature to jump to the worst conclusion but before I go nuclear how could I word it so if it is innocuous I don’t shoot myself in the foot either....advice gratefully received!

I would have thought nothing of it until he came up with the garage line! That's the worst reason ever a lipstick would end up in a car.

@pinkyredrose

What brand is it?

LOL, straight to the nitty gritty on MN :-)

I'd keep it, say nothing.If OP catches him having an affair she can use the lipstick to write the OW;s name all over his car.

That is pretty weak.
Maybe a mechanic dropped it, or maybe someone from the garage used the car (is it a Lambo or something?!) and dropped it...?

You should of started wearing the same shade of lippy!

I wouldn’t of said anything just probably dogged for more clues!

Did you find a bra or panties?
I left them once in the car of a guy I was dating? He stuffed them in glovebox with his girly magazines.

@ROTFLBSST

Asked him first if he’d had people in the car, said his mates, any ladies? Answer was no, he said why do you ask and showed him the lipstick. Was a genuine reaction, he thinks it’s might be from when he put the car in the garage and they’ve used it. Thank you all for taking the time to reply, me jumping is a reflection on me more than anything.

I don’t think so OP.

Yeah the garage defence is weak as hell.

Ask to see his phone.

Look at the obvious email, messages, call history etc. Also look for game app with chat function - words with friends was the choice of my husbands affair.

What a shit excuse

You should have started wearing the same shade of lippy

As if he’d notice! OP I fear this is not innocent . There’s have to be a whole set of circumstances for his explanation to be true. Not impossible but very unlikely.

Agree do NOT say anything until you’ve had a chance to go through his phone/iPad/PC and ideally put a tracking device in his car

A tracking device?! Jesus Christ!

When it happened to me .. an earring.. I chose to believe the flimsy excuse. His use of prostitutes came out much later.Not implying that’s your situation by the way.

Have it in your pocket the next time you two go in the car together. Sneakily slide it into plain sight- the centre console if you have cup holders/little gappy things or let it sit on the floor, then pick it up and innocently say 'Oh what's this?' And see what he says.

@ShanniKey

Do you know the mechanic's shade?

@Lucieintheskye

Why would she do that when she has already asked him about it?

[quote UpShutTheFuck]@Lucieintheskye

Why would she do that when she has already asked him about it?[/quote]
Oops, scrolled past that response.

Asked him first if he’d had people in the car, said his mates, any ladies? Answer was no, he said why do you ask and showed him the lipstick. Was a genuine reaction, he thinks it’s might be from when he put the car in the garage and they’ve used it. Thank you all for taking the time to reply, me jumping is a reflection on me more than anything.

In the voice of Kevin Bridges, "Did ye aye?"

What garage does he take his car too that has a woman working there that would have driven the car? I use a few garages, only one has a female member of staff (in the office) and I can’t see any reason why she would randomly drive my car 🤔.

I found a pair of knickers in my ex’s suit case when he returned from working away, at the time I was unsure how they got there but they were similar to a pair of mine (but seemed smaller) so thought I was just being silly (thought “maybe they were mine as I have so many pairs”), turned out ex was shagging random people when working away, though this time was a young girl that he had given a job too at a site he was working at. I didn’t find out for quite a while and he gave me a STI.

I don’t think I would trust any man that works from home a lot.

If you had no idea how something got there then it’s speculation, his reaction was mystified

Sorry what do you mean OP? That would be correct if he’s telling the truth about having no idea but you have to decide whether you believe him.

Years ago I was at a friend's house and saw a lipstick just like one of mine on a table, I said oh is that my lipstick, did I leave it here last time? She only used very expensive brands so I knew it wasn't hers

The relief on her face was so obvious, you've guessed it, it must have fallen out of my bag in her DHs car at some point, I'm not even sure I'd missed it and something entirely innocent nearly caused a serious marriage issue.

It's like two different original posters on this thread

@ROTFLBSST

If you had no idea how something got there then it’s speculation, his reaction was mystified

Indeed perhaps he simply hasn't a clue. If its old could it have been there for some time?

I'd say outright, have you had a woman in the car? and wait for the response.

It's a simple enough question and no need for drama or playing private detective. If the answer is no, then I'd be saying well I found a lipstick in the car that's not mine. Where has that come from?

Sorry - missed the update.

@NovemberR

I'd say outright, have you had a woman in the car? and wait for the response.

It's a simple enough question and no need for drama or playing private detective. If the answer is no, then I'd be saying well I found a lipstick in the car that's not mine. Where has that come from?

I'd say outright, have you had a woman in the car? and wait for the response.

If it isn't a new car then chances are there's been a woman in it sometime in the past.