How to approach finding someone else’s lipstick in DHs car?

[ROTFLBSST]

How would you word it? DH works nights, me days. There’s opportunity for sure but no evidence. I think it’s human nature to jump to the worst conclusion but before I go nuclear how could I word it so if it is innocuous I don’t shoot myself in the foot either....advice gratefully received!

Just say something? It puts him on the spot and if you know him well you will know if he is lying. I would just say I found a lipstick and it isn’t mine. All this put a tracker on his car and go through his phone... crazy.

If it’s that old could it not have just rolled out from under the seat?

When this happened to me a few years ago I was so naive and trusting that it never occurred to me it could have been left there by an OW. I asked my son's girlfriend, my daughter and her friends, etc. and nobody claimed it. It remained one of those mysteries until I found out later other stuff and then this was one thing among many which now made sense.
No point asking him as he'll just say he doesn't know where it came from.

You don't trust him... so surely it's over

Maybe its your DHs lipstick. Seriously if you are at all able to have a snoop do so, otherwise just ask him 'whose lipstick is this?'.

Oh do give over Banana. It’s perfectly legal to leave a phone/tablet in anyone’s car. It’s also perfectly legal to put a tracking device in a car if it belongs to you wholly or jointly.

Don't ask him, OP. It's too soon.

Do you think he’s cheating? Surely no one is giving lifts to anyone currently...

Don't ask him, do more digging first.

The innocent explanation of the lipstick in the car would be giving a female colleague a lift on the way home.
Less innocent (50/50): chatting with a colleague in the car during the break time.

It could be that it's been in the car for a long time pre vovid and neither of you have noticed it before now? Any female that's ever been in the car could have potentially lost it in that case.

You don't know what brand, but what colour is it? Is it a 'young' colour like baby pink or is it more like french red?
Does the lipstick feel expensive or cheap?
God I'm a lipstick snob.

You say the labels worn off, could it have been there for a long time? As in years? Stuck under the seat or something and rolled out? It might sound silly, but are you sure you've never had that lipstick? It could have been a relative/friend/one of your friend's that he gave a lift to years ago and it's been stuck in the car since.

My first thought was can there be an innocent explanation? And now I think there could be.

I will ask later on this eve, trying to frame it in my head so it’s not accusatory right from the get go. I do trust him or at least I thought I did!

That’s what’s making me feel bad as I do trust him

I found a lipstick in my bathroom cupboard - confronting only led to denials (I knew straight away who’d planted it) but funny enough they are now together (it was expensive and new too!). I would watch and wait and try to see if evidence of anything else

It’s dark red

Not overly expensive feeling have to say!

Wait till he’s asleep and then get his phone and use his thumb print then, if that’s how to unlock?

There is another way of doing it, something about using the camera as a way to get around unlocking it...google it!

That’s what I would do.

Have you moved or had a clear out and taken stuff to the recycling centre recently?

@missbriteside

I found a lipstick in my bathroom cupboard - confronting only led to denials (I knew straight away who’d planted it) but funny enough they are now together (it was expensive and new too!). I would watch and wait and try to see if evidence of anything else

At least you got a free lipstick out of it. Most generous of OW.

Don’t mention it yet. I found out my ex was on a dating site and exploded immediately. I wish I’d have kept my mouth shut and played it out properly.

I’d put it back and see if it moves. I’d pretend you’ve lost your phone and ask to use his whilst you send an email/text ect.. then go and sit down with it and see his response.

It you pull it out now your giving him time to figure out a quick lie.

If someone from work was giving me a lift I would not apply lipstick in his car. It is interpreted as somewhat sexual by men so I wouldn't do it with a colleague.

I could of course drop the lipstick accidentally if I were rummaging in the bag for something else.

I would wait and watch, OP.

Leave a pair of your knickers in the foot well & see what happens.

Actually no, I would ask my DH