How to approach finding someone else’s lipstick in DHs car?

[ROTFLBSST]

How would you word it? DH works nights, me days. There’s opportunity for sure but no evidence. I think it’s human nature to jump to the worst conclusion but before I go nuclear how could I word it so if it is innocuous I don’t shoot myself in the foot either....advice gratefully received!

The fact it was driver side not passenger side does back up that it was not a passenger as presumably they'd sit in the front

Sounds legit OP.

My mechanic has a real penchant for Rimmel lipstick in Trendsetter, he swears it's a spot on dupe for Mac Velvet Teddy, and at a fraction of the price!

@NovemberR pretty much! @BigFatLiar it does look it, no markings etc. The previous owner was a lady so maybe. I doubt we’ll ever know but going from his reaction he has no idea either.

OP, he is your husband. You know him better than anyone so if you believe he was truly baffled then that's the end to it. If however there is any doubt in your mind then please don't ignore it as I've done this twice in the past with 2 different relationships and basically have been made a fool of for trusting someone completely and ignoring any evidence to the contrary.
I'm not saying that your dh is not trustworthy but just keep your wits about you - don't be a me!

God some of these responses. Do people actually pull this shit? Tracking devices in cars, using his thumb when he’s asleep to access his phone? If men were doing that to their wives there would be an outcry.

Glad you asked him op. That’s the sensible and sane way to handle it.

If you had no idea how something got there then it’s speculation, his reaction was mystified

Yeah, so was my ex-husband's reaction... mystified... BAFTA-worthy mystified.

God some of these responses. Do people actually pull this shit? Tracking devices in cars, using his thumb when he’s asleep to access his phone? If men were doing that to their wives there would be an outcry.

I couldn't agree more! And having been through this with my ex, what I will tell you OP is that if it is the worst-case scenario, you can be sure the truth will out at some point. You don't need to do anything deceptive or manipulative. Assume the best of your DH. The worst will let itself be known in due course (if it's the case- hopefully, and likely, it's not the case).

The mechanic absent-mindedly picked up the wrong item.

Mistook it for a dipstick.

He hasn't accused you of driving his car so that you don't use the petrol in your own car? Og giving lifts to your pals in his car?

I know right? I’m trying to imagine a male dominated website where a man posted he found something small and typically males in his wife’s car and blokes were posting “track her secretly mate” or “wait till she’s sleeping then use her thumb to access her phone” . People would be horrified.

@Triphazards

The mechanic absent-mindedly picked up the wrong item.

Mistook it for a dipstick.

Or took the lass from the office out for a quick spin and snog in the car.

If the previous owner was a woman and he hasn't thoroughly cleaned the interior (or going by my husbands efforts even if he has) I think that it may well have been stuck somewhere since her days.

or....

Is it his colour?

It’s strange though that it’s not just a dropped item but one that’s used by women ? I mean it could have been all sorts of items that get dropped in cars.. keys, credit cards, crumpled up receipts etc. But this was a lipstick. Mmmm. Strange .

Mystified my arse.

If the car belonged to a woman previously then that would be the obvious answer. The garage story is just laughable. That in itself would make me suspicious. He overlooked the obvious answer and panic thought up something ridiculous.

You still haven't said how it came about that you find a lipstick UNDER the mat in the front seat of your husband's car. What reason did you have to go searching there?

@CurlyhairedAssassin there’s a hole in the mat it was visible as a result

You either believe he doesn't know or you don't

If he's having an affair you deserve better
If he isn't and he genuinely doesn't know then if you don't believe him he deserves better

@BigFatLiar it would suit his colouring I do believe him, I need to sort my shit out it would seem if that’s where I jump to

Hmmm you do know that most cheaters put on the performance of a lifetime every single day of their marriage right? I think the fact that he is mystified is not proof of anything.

To the PP who said about not trusting a man WFH...my friend's husband worked away very rarely but every single time would hook up with a woman from Kik. Another worked a normal office job, but he created a fake group of cycling friends and once every few months would go on a "cycling" break for the weekend...except he was riding different women each time. If people want to cheat, they can always find a way.

Are you in the UK, OP, or his home country?

You believe that a bloke from the garage dropped a lipstick in your husband's car? Christ your naive

To clarify about the garage thing, the mechanic took the car to his home it wasn’t in a normal ‘quikfix’ type service garage

I still would want to check his phone tbh. If he’s got nothing to hide it shouldn’t be a problem

I would not believe that at all. I would need to dig a bit further.

I wouldn’t believe it either sorry...