Shaking from DP squaring up to me

[Panicking40609]

Posting in aibu for traffic, I’m sorry

I’m shaking. Argument with DP just happened, I was being passive aggressive cleaning up because he’s passing out, can’t even sit up straight because he’s drunk again. He started drinking wine at 8am this morning. We’re in the process of him moving in with me so during said argument he was packing things to leave.

He just snapped and squared up to me, I told him not to and asked him not to make the argument worse by bringing violence into it. (He has admitted hitting ex in the past). I genuinely thought he was going to hit me, I was mentally preparing for it. In the end I pushed him away and he just picked up his stuff and left.

I’ve locked the door but I’m shaking. I was so scared he would hurt my pets.

This is not love.
This is not mutual respect, this is not even friendship on his behalf because who would even treat a friend this way?

Why would you want this for your life???? There are plenty of decent men out there who would not treat their partner like he does you.

You don't live with him, you are not married nor have children with him.

Pull up your big girl pants. Get rid of the cheating abusive fucker and strive for something better. Quite frankly being on your own, learning to love yourself is wasaay better than this.

So he has a history of physical assault on his ex?

He's a drunken aggressive bully?

He's been sending sexual message to his ex?

He's joined dating sites?

OP you're going to learn the lessons the hard way in life sadly ☹️

You dont love him he is a cheating abusive twat
You love the idea of a relationship
Maybe you think he is better than nothing
You are wrong
There is nothing to love about him

OP if you get a chance, can you let us know if you and your cats are safe?

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Second that.

And well said in your previous reply

Jesus Christ.

This guy used to hit his ex, is drinking at 8am and was aggressive to you... And you’re criticising yourself for being passive aggressive and fearing for the safety of your pets??

Assuming this isn’t a spoof post, then do not let him move in. Ignore his calls. Get support from your family/mates over Christmas. And then in the NY seriously consider some counselling- if you are attracted to this man then I think you have a self esteem issue that could be a real arsehole magnet.

You know that you don’t actually don’t love him, you love the words you are being fed. He is acting from a script. He is manipulating you with his dog, using guilt tactics and helplessness. Letting you believe he couldn’t function without you.(He managed before he met you, and he’s not functioning well with you, just saying...) Please do the Claire’s Law application.

Please speak to woman's aid they will help you end it and enrol on the Freedom Programme I believe it's on line too.

It's co-dependency not love

Today may be a tough one for you. Don't let him get you down. It will soon be a new year and you can choose a new life.

@panicking40609 how are you doing?

Please OP, do the Claire's law application. Its vitally important that you fully understand the man you think you are in love with so that you can (hopefully) lose the rose tinted glasses. You cannot change him, as much as you and he might want it to be so. Sometimes love just isn't enough.

How are you @Panicking40609?
You have had such a tough time, hoping you are doing ok 💐🌸