Shaking from DP squaring up to me

[Panicking40609]

Posting in aibu for traffic, I’m sorry

I’m shaking. Argument with DP just happened, I was being passive aggressive cleaning up because he’s passing out, can’t even sit up straight because he’s drunk again. He started drinking wine at 8am this morning. We’re in the process of him moving in with me so during said argument he was packing things to leave.

He just snapped and squared up to me, I told him not to and asked him not to make the argument worse by bringing violence into it. (He has admitted hitting ex in the past). I genuinely thought he was going to hit me, I was mentally preparing for it. In the end I pushed him away and he just picked up his stuff and left.

I’ve locked the door but I’m shaking. I was so scared he would hurt my pets.

Keep postin Op

As others have said leaving is hard

Make sure you are on decent contraception- like iron clad, double it up. Take the pill and get a cap. Your really don't want kids with this man.

AA have help for families of alcoholics and you may be if it from their programme.

Also the freedom programme is worth a go.

Be brave OP

Everyone deserves to be safe from violence and the threat of violence.

Talk to people In Real life so you don't feel like you need to hide when the worst happens.

You cannot control his behaviour.

Are you on the pill OP?
When he physically beats you, which he will, you'll desperately not want to be pregnant.

I have been there. It took me to nearly die before I got away.

He will hurt you a great Deal. This is a guarantee. Posting here. Reading other's experiences may help you before he actually kills you. So don't go. Strength sister.

Just send one final message, its over im not forgiving you I deserve better, do not come round begging. We were over. Goodbye.

Then block and dont entertain it. And think thank god you dodged a bullet there

@cyclingmad

Just send one final message, its over im not forgiving you I deserve better, do not come round begging. We were over. Goodbye.

Then block and dont entertain it. And think thank god you dodged a bullet there

Bloody hell! Why don’t you read the fucking thread? Or at least OP’s posts? Especially on threads like this.

@cyclingmad that's not massively helpful seeing as he is now back in her home.

No bullets have been dodged.

Make an exit plan.
Be ready to get rid

Have you told any friends or relatives yet? If not then text them now. You need real live support as well as the support from here.

Next time he leaves, even popping to the shop, lock him out. Do not let him back in.

You deserve so much more.

Please keep posting @Panicking40609 you DO deserve kindness and support, not just from us strangers on the internet but more importantly from your partner.

It’s hard to realise that yes, you are worth more. But we all think you are and hopefully you will see it too

OP you have invited an Abuser/Alcoholic into you home... you have created a problem in your life that you had under control... get him out OP...

Are you okay OP? I'm. genuinely worried for you.

I know it's so fucking difficult OP but next time it will be more than squaring up to you because you showed him that it's ok to behave that way without any consequences. You should continue to post regardless of your decision, you're not letting anyone down on here as we're not emotionally involved. But let this be your outlet and somewhere to turn to for support. You will get rid of him when you're ready to, you will, however the worrying aspect is it might be too late by the time you reach that point. Statistically 2 women are murdered each week by their partner/ex partner in the UK. Be safe OP.

I've been through this and the promises are all fake or they genuinely believe it but can't help them selves from doing it again. I think once they have gotten away with it once they continue to do it time and time again. Get rid!

it's refreshing to read... that several women have managed to escape lives like this... so glad to read this ladies

I hope you are ok op. What led you to decide he could come back to allow on the couch? Might be worth unpicking it on here?

Please stay on the thread. You have hundreds of strangers rooting for you.

Oh gosh @Panicking40609 please think of your future self. She’ll be wishing she were back where you are, deciding to throw him out. It will only get harder once you move in together. This is the easiest it’s going to be, both because you’re not yet living together and because your self esteem is only going to deteriorate from here on out if you let him sleep on the couch whilst he’s being so mean to you.

Can you let us know if you're safe OP? Thinking of you, please do look back over the posts on this thread from the last few days to summon strength. You have to leave him, it's just a case of whether you are able to do so before he hurts you. Or your lovely little cats. Please try to reconsider

Chill out okay what id read up dodnt say she had let him back in. What are you the post police, making sure everyone reads everything. Sure OP would of ignored what I welcome anyway since situation has changed.

Op please don’t feel chased away from your only form of support, please keep posting what ever the outcome we are here, it takes many attempts to free yourself and mumsnet will be here. We all care for your welfare but ignore the posters not being so helpful I think it’s very easy to say if it were me I’d do this .

OP please keep posting. Thinking of you.

I could of written this op, my ex was/is an alcoholic.
He was always giving up the drink to save our relationship, only then he would pick an argument and then start drinking as it was my fault as I was being moody with him, I stupidly got pregnant by him not once but twice, he didn't like that all my time was spent with the children so it was another excuse to drink.
I was seriously ill and he had to do the shopping I thought he wouldn't drink with the children, 5 hours later the police arrived at my door with my children and he was in custody, I was to ill to look after then so I had to ask my mum who then I had to explain what I was living through, she already knew, social services then got involved and I had to make a decision him or them, I chose them.
It didn't stop there though as he had rights and wanted to see the children but instead of spending time with them he was just grinding me down further, I then got the children supervised visits and he would either turn up drink or not at all. This went on for years and affected the children so badly that even more as adults they hate him.
It took me years to get him out of my life and even longer to get him out of my head space.
Stop feeling sorry for him, he is not a pet he is manipulating you, before you know it he will be in your bed still drinking and probably pissing himself in his sleep like many alcoholics do.
Please sort your life out now as he WILL NOT change as that is just fake promises.
Even if you don't post back on this thread please keep reading, of you were my daughter I would do everything in my power to keep you away from this manipulating pos.

@6demandingchildren I'm sorry you went through the hell of him.
An eye opening account for OP.

@Panicking40609 if you were looking for a sign that breaking up was the right thing, then this is it. I have been in your position and it will not improve. It only gets worse.
Stay strong! You can, and will, survive and thrive without him!

I saw an interesting advertisement for domestic abuse - The advertisement was selling fake makeup, it specifically asks you to order or enquire about the liquid eye-liner seller will call the Gardai with your address on request for liquid eyeliner.
Christmas for violent drinkers is a disaster.

I’m just losing the will to fight through atm.

How has the last day been?