Do you forgive sexting?

[Purplesndteal]

One off explicit. He says he just didn't think what he was doing. I do believe it was a one off. It was ten lines. We have a baby, a house, a dog and we're supposed to get married next year

No. It is a dealbrealer for me and also unlikely you caught him first time

Well, he’s lying straight off isn’t he? He knew exactly what he was doing and he prioritised a wank over his family.
I wouldn’t particularly want to be with a man with priorities like that, personally.

Why do you believe it was a one off? Maybe because you don't want to contemplate your partner is a cheater? I'm sorry but it sounds to me like he knew exactly what he was doing. I mean really, no one just drifts off into fitlhy messages by accident do they?

Filthy*

Well it wasn't a wank, per se... Imdodnt ser the whole thing (he deleted it) but did go through his phone and photos, etc... And nothing sneaky

One off = first time you caught him

Don't waste your life on a cheating man. You will be miserable, mark my words

You don't delete stuff if you've got nothing to hide.

No I wouldn't, save yourself a future divorce. I once found that my ex H sent a flirty email not explicit but found I just could never trust him after that, in the end he broke up with me because I was always jealous.
Very hard to trust when it's been broken.

No, I don't think I could forgive that.

Well exactly! He did message this person and asked for clarification . She said it was just "banter".

No. I don't want a man enough to put up with shoddy behaviour.

No. Can almost guarantee it's not the first time or the last. LTB

Ha. But you believe it was a one off and it was only ten lines.
You literally just said he deleted the messages, what makes you think he wouldn’t have deleted other incriminating evidence?

Not sure about forgiving it i think that depends on other factors.

But for me it is different to cheating in person, and less bad/different I suppose

I think that if they don’t know the person, don’t even know what they look like etc or their name, it is not as much of a betrayal as cheating in person or an extended emotional affair or online liaison.
I think some people can compartmentalise and it’s easy to think they’re not doing anything wrong or crossing a line as it’s ‘just messaging’

If it’s someone you both know.... it would seem unlikely that 10 lines was all there is to it

‘Just banter’ oldest excuse in the book.
He’s such a shit for doing this to you

Yes, it definitely wasn't a relationship. And when he's at home he's always with me. He leaves his phone unlocked, etc...it's not like he goes to the toilet for hours

No o don't know this person she's an ex colleague

Save yourself the massive admin nightmare of divorce. Cheaters lie, deny, minimize and gaslight. No way is this the first time he's done it.

He's aplohety btw, is the woman who said it was banter

He’d be out like a shot. Total dealbreaker.

Fuck no. He is cheating. Period. End of story. Do you really think this is the first time? Not a chance.

So he's saying it was a one off? He sent an explicit message with photographs to another woman on the off chance she would respond? No one starts sexting with an explicit message and photos. He is treating you like you are stupid, show him you're not and get rid of him and keep the dog, it will be more faithful than he will ever be.

Nah...

OP, it’s very likely this isn’t a one-off and even if it was, he still did it - so you now have to decide if you can trust him again, if you can forgive and forget.. Staying with someone you don’t / can’t trust is basically signing up for a life of anxiety, phone checking and a good old dose of self-esteem erosion.