Dating thread 183 - Know your worth, honour your boundaries

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Nooo honour your boundaries

FFS

I thought honour your bou was as in honour your bae, I nearly vomited in my own mouth. Can MN change it for you?

Bleurgh. You should know I'd never say something like that! Yes I've reported it.

Good title

@saltysally

Bleurgh. You should know I'd never say something like that! Yes I've reported it.

And we've edited it.

Checking in
Still eyeing up the smitten bench but holding back ... for now!

Thank you Jo!

Game face is on, broken heart hopefully put to one side for a few hours and I'm about to head out to meet Miss Horse. Feeling sad but excited.

Good luck thecar

Can we add a rule that anyone who uses bae is automatically banished from thread?

Had a tough fucking morning/ weekend with my moron ex but popped out for new undies for my weekend date with Big at lunch

Just checking into the new thread. Written a break up message to Mr S but holding back on sending it until I go to bed so I can turn my phone off as I think he might get defensive and I don't want to deal with it

Checking in. I don't post a lot but I am an avid reader, and the boundary discussions over the last few months have been hugely helpful for me. I realise how lucky I was to find MrY so quickly but my ex trashed my boundaries/self-esteem and identity in general so it been both interesting and terrifying "finding myself" and these threads help so much just making me think about what I will and won't tolerate.
Good luck tonight Cat hope it's a nice distraction if nothing comes of it.
Marl hope it's settled down. Any plans to discuss your concerns with Big?

Evening..just parking up for 183
@cat well done for going this evening, I’m sure it’s the last thing you feel like doing

Place marking in hope I get a date this month 🤣

Checking in, I’m really grateful for this thread, I’m finding the discussion really helpful and some great advice along the way, it’s giving me the courage and perspective I need to dip my toe in the dating world!

Second date with Mr scenery on Wednesday, think I’m doing ok on the over investing front, but a week has felt like a really long time! So anyone not snogged on a second date or is that kind of a given, date one check for chemistry and date two check for a spark?

Good luck @TheCatWithTheHat, hope your able to relax and enjoy her company.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 hope it’s just an adjustment period.

@menora hope some space is helping you.

Also checking in after a few months of lurking & learning loads from all of you.

Giving myself a stern talking to today having forced my latest Tinder romance (2.5 months, 10 dates & this weekend was sleepover #5) to explain why the obvious drop in texts & saying nice things. 'I guess I've gone off the boil' was his answer then came the 'it's not you it's me', 'I'm no good at relationships' & the absolute classic of all cliches 'Can we still be friends? You're one of the nicest people I've ever met & love doing things with you....' (apart from seeing me naked and bonking me presumably). Errrr. Maybe.

I started a thread earlier asking how can I stop my too-early emotional investment & have vowed to (a) do multi-dating & (b) not sleep with them until their hopes/dreams/expectations are examined and compared with mine as really don't want to spend further Sunday's sobbing about blokes who were nice but not absolutely flipping brilliant.

A new iron in fire Mr GardeningGuitarist from a spot of getting back in the saddle swiping last night. Will suggest coffee meet up ASAP if the texts continue to flow.

Checking in. On the smitten bench I think 🤷🏼‍♀️. Is it wrong I feel like this is too easy.

@lovemusic33 the days are getting longer and Christmas & January are behind us so hopefully they'll be in abundance and not long now before waiting for a date to arrive doesn't involve standing on a dark wintery corner!

If they aren't in abundance it's because standards & boundaries are being kept nice and high.

@jane1978xx it's wrong if it feels hard surely? The easier it is the better I think.

Finding a relationship hard and needing effort isn't the dream.

Sorry cat my good luck was to you not thecar

I don’t know shitwith I always knew it would be hard to see him often. I’m gonna see how the next month or so goes. I bloody like him. keepcalm yes will keep talking about it with him. Think it’s just a strange transition.

Checking in! Thank you for the new thread. Here's hoping I find an iron to chat about soon!

@Lovemusic33 i haven't had a date in 9 months!

Evening. Asked for some opinions at the end of the last thread on which OLD sites you have found to be populated with the most ' normal ' people. I am 52. Never tried Tinder

@shitwithsugaron you sound such a different person with Mr L 😉 It is ace. Good luck for tomorrow too.