My husband completely loses it when I have my period

[Moosmum1]

Me and my husband have been together for nearly 10 years, and up until 4 years ago I never had a period due to my contraceptive pill. 2 children later, hubby has had the snip, and I am no longer on the pill. Sex has always been a touchy subject for us as he feels that if we are not regularly having sex (2-3 times a week) then we have issues with our relationship. I’ve tried to explain to him that the more he pushes sex as a priority, the less I want it, and he needs to take the pressure off and let us enjoy our sex life as and when, rather then nagging and constantly commenting on his want for it or when we last did it.

The problem really hits when I have my period. I don’t like having sex when I’m on, it’s just not for me. He doesn’t cope with it very well and is always clearly unhappy that I have come on, but every now and then he completely loses it. He will either completely stop talking to me, or go crazy at me shouting at me that we don’t have sex enough. I’ve hit my limit with it now, he is making me miserable. I really want to keep our family unit together, but I don’t even see how that is possible when I am so down all the time I actually dread coming home.

I dont really know what I’m asking, I suppose, is this normal male behaviour? Should I just suck it up? Any constructive advice welcome.

No, he is not normal. For what it's worth, I've never had sex on a period. I just find it too icky. DH respects my feelings.

That’s not normal behaviour.
He’s fucking horrible.
No advice about what you should do.
You need to decide if it’s a marriage breaker or not. Then act accordingly.

Honestly? He sounds like no kind of prize. He's not some horny teen, he's a grown man that knows how biology works and that your period is all natural. Just what are his redeeming features?

Completely not normal. Awful in fact, what a horrible, entitled man.

People will come along with much better advice than I can give, but I just wanted to add to the what I am sure will be many voices saying this is wrong.

He sounds awful. Controlling and demanding. What are his good points?

And does he think shouting at you will stop your period?? Loon.

Oh no - this is not normal male behaviour. If he’s behaving like this, like a petulant angry child, with a period, how the hell would he cope if you either just didn’t want to have sex or couldn’t? I’ve had some gynaecological issues in the past that meant/mean quite long time with no sex. Dh was totally understanding. He isn’t a pest.

He sounds awful. How are things otherwise? Can he not see that pestering and going crazy when you don’t want sex is the best way of shrivelling up any libido you did have?

Absolutely not normal, he is a selfish entitled arse. He is not entitled to your body whenever he wants and this kind of harassment is deeply off-putting. I think you know all this though, I hope you find a way through or out of the situation.

If DH shouted at me because I had my period he would never be having sex with me again.

He sounds repulsive. And like he doesn't understand consent.

I dont this is normal no. i’d question being with someone like that in all honesty. Having a period is bad enough without that kind of hassle

Not reasonable.

Clearly has issues.

He does have many good points... he is an amazing dad to our two children, he works hard, he supports me and my ambitions at work (which often means working late or bringing work home) he picks up the slack at home

No, this is not normal male behaviour. My DH knows that I am miserable when I am on my period. He will buy my sanitary products, bring me treats to cheer me up, keep me topped up with painkillers & hot water bottles, and NEVER make a fuss because we don't have sex - in fact he wouldn't even suggest or hint at sex unless I did. Because he is a decent human being.

Your 'D'H is an arse. I'm not sure what advice to give you, as I can't imagine living with such a knob. Sounds like he has some real issues that he ought to be dealing with. No, you should not just suck it up, but not entirely sure what to suggest you do! He ought to deal with his issues, you ought not to put up with it - but that's a lot of oughts!

Ugh sounds really disrespectful, he can't wait a few days?

At best, it's sexual hassessment, but really sounds very coercive.

He sounds like a nightmare.

He does have many good points...

You can't make up for shouting sexual harassment at someone by doing the dishes.

My fanny would shut up shop permanently under such harassment. Not joking, that would kill any desire and respect I had for him.

He is an arse.

Quite, MrsTerryPratchett.

Nope not normal. We have sex when I have my period as neither of us mind it, but if I said I didn't want to my dp would be supportive. Have you told him how his nagging makes you want it less, not more?

Sorry, just re-read and saw you had. Have you tried counselling?

He sounds abusive.
I'd be worried he was going to end up doing worse.
I'd leave him, he's on the path to hurting you. Please get some advise about getting shut of him.

We argue every time he loses it, I tell him he’s being completely unreasonable, that he’s pushing me away, he ends up apologising, but we always end up back here again. I told him tonight that I don’t want to be married to him anymore. That I’m fed up with worrying about how he’ll react every time I get my period. I’m sat crying on my sofa because I love him and I love my family but I’m at a complete loss, I can’t do it anymore

he is an amazing dad to our two children

Presumably they notice that he goes nuts and stops talking to you 5 days +/- out of the month? Think really hard about what message this treatment of you sends to your children. Your sons will grow up to repeat it. Your daughters will grow up to suffer it. He is not an amazing dad.