My husband completely loses it when I have my period

[Moosmum1]

Me and my husband have been together for nearly 10 years, and up until 4 years ago I never had a period due to my contraceptive pill. 2 children later, hubby has had the snip, and I am no longer on the pill. Sex has always been a touchy subject for us as he feels that if we are not regularly having sex (2-3 times a week) then we have issues with our relationship. I’ve tried to explain to him that the more he pushes sex as a priority, the less I want it, and he needs to take the pressure off and let us enjoy our sex life as and when, rather then nagging and constantly commenting on his want for it or when we last did it.

The problem really hits when I have my period. I don’t like having sex when I’m on, it’s just not for me. He doesn’t cope with it very well and is always clearly unhappy that I have come on, but every now and then he completely loses it. He will either completely stop talking to me, or go crazy at me shouting at me that we don’t have sex enough. I’ve hit my limit with it now, he is making me miserable. I really want to keep our family unit together, but I don’t even see how that is possible when I am so down all the time I actually dread coming home.

I dont really know what I’m asking, I suppose, is this normal male behaviour? Should I just suck it up? Any constructive advice welcome.

Oh wow I read the update! Well done! Glad you are free!

Lovely OP. And just l was scanning through mumbling under my breath about people reviving ancient posts; sorry about that. You can finally share having sex on your terms. ❤️

Thanks for the update and glad you’ve moved on with a new partner. What happened to finally make you want to leave and how did your ex take it, if you don’t mind explaining.

Of course! I mentally checked out about 2 years ago! Decided as soon as the kids (14 and 10) were out of school I was going! But then one evening my 14 yo asked me why i stayed with him when hes so awful to me 😭 thats when I realised my awful mistake and I left him 2 days later!

Hes a narcissist so hes taken it terribly! Refuses to move out the house, refuses to pay anything towards bills, fully playing the victim and telling everyone what an awful wife I was! Apparently im financially abusive because I sorted all the bills (hes never had good credit so ive always had to deal!), im a whore because I moved on so quickly so must have been cheating for years (I wasnt! Its someone i work with who ive since grown close with), im controlling (hilarious right!)

So were battling it out, whilst living together, which is hell!! But its a road i need to travel to get to my freedom! Xxx

Having sex when you’re in pain due to it, and pregnant, to keep the peace, is one of the most disturbing things I’ve read.

I’ve been married over 30 years and I have never had to deal with this. I’m horrified for you.

Sorry - just read your update. I’m relieved.

Well done OP, it's a brave thing to do. Hopefully you're now realising that your ex's behaviour is NOT normal and that nobody should have to put up with what you were enduring.

Please take it slow though - with the new man. They are all amazing when it’s shiny and new. You were in a vulnerable position and even though it feels “ powerful” ( and it is), to call time on your marriage, just be careful your new man isn’t taking advantage of your vulnerability and please try not to have a new man around your DD. Do the relevant background checks.

Thank you, I'm definitely taking it slow, and we have both said we wont even begin considering meeting of each others kids this year (his are similar ages to mine) We live quite far apart so don't get to see each other often, and meet away from our respective homes. And guess what!! when we met once for an over night stay and I was on my period, it was no issue!!! ♥️He was happy to just cuddle!!! He knows my past and just wants to take care of me and piece me back together xx

Periods are not a 'mismatch in libido' ffs. Such an idiotic male comment. Also note, OP is the one calling for an end to the marriage, not him so guess again about who is most unhappy. 🙄

Having read so, so many threads on here, never ever rely on a man to mend you or piece you back together.
It is great that the OP has realised her ex was not right for her.
But one thing I’ve realised as I’ve gotten a lot older is that relationships put in place to ‘mend’ can be dangerous.

Op, men get grumpier and grumpier with age, without being concerned about their sex life. Just saying…

Maybe he feels he needs to keep it up since he is older and needs to satisfy you. Nah, just finding excuses for him, your DH is an abusive twat.

She’s already left him….