The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Braving The Wine Witch & Her Alcohol Free Autumn

[Mouseface]

Hello

I’m Mouse one of the Brave Babes who ride on this wonderful Bus, called Gerald, along with all the Opal Fruits wrappers and of course Barry The squid.

We all have a wise variety of life experiences and experiences with alcohol too. We’re not admirers of hang overs and we certainly don’t do judgey pants!

We’re here to ride along with you, when life is pants but also when it’s not as well and you my want to celebrate that bit too much!

So find a seat and come take a ride. I’ll link the previous and also the very first link and the reason we’re all here.

*Mouse

Margie and spanna thank you so much for your responses.
Margie it's one of the bits that really gets in my way. I feel so embarrised about the truth I guess. I have said im training for a race and that's been ok. One in law made me feel bad about that- I guess I wasn't as good fun!! But I am doing this for me. I have thought about a few more reasons I can give.

Thank you spanna this gives me hope. I am going round and round at the moment. It's a relief to see that someone who has been in a similar place to me can be in such a different place a few years on.

Thank you x

spanna small'margie you are all inspirational. I would love to rack up a good number of days but I can't. I just can't. I just never get any better.

Fox you are doing amazingly well and I'm chuffed that I strengthened your resolve. 66 Days is awesome One of the mantras that really works for me is 'watching the film to the end' - my film is ALWAYS a very messy one and it's so not worth me going there. If you can stash the cash into a separate account(one thing I really regret) and treat you (and your family if you so wish) to a break, days out, new anything for you, the list is endless. It's good to have rewards as you go. Distract, distract, distract, find things to fill your time when you would be drinking. Keep going lovely for you, your DC, your health, your wellbeing and your soul x

Ma you have racked up days, I remember. Just do small stints at a time. You've had a lot going on and you will get there when you're ready. You are an amazing babe - I remember the first slap in the chops that you gave me from Barrie when I was feeling sorry for myself Without you beside me, fighting over green opal fruits I'd have never got to where I am today - you pick every babe up and you are a constant presence on Gerald, thank you It's nearly time to dust your triangle off isn't it?

Chesterfield lower the tone as much as you like my dear - we love toilet talk on here tis what is so good about the bus, we can all say what we want to Can you start tomorrow and aim for one day at a time until the end of November and do yourself a personal review then? Find some inner strength, bite the bullet and just do it. You said yourself that you felt so much better, just think how clear headed you'll be, you'll have more money to spend on yourself. Get rid of the booze in the house, put it in the boot of the car, garden shed, anywhere away from temptation. I had to avoid supermarkets for a time, far too tempting for me What do reckon? you with me babe?

Saywhen I completely understand the fear (well mine was fear) of being the party pooper, not the life and soul of the party (which I always was), not being funny anymore, it's just about re-programming your brain. It will be a bit different for a while but it will all fall into place with those around you. I started by saying 'I just want to see if I can do 100 days with no booze' that worked once my lot realised I was serious about it. Pressure from others is a pain but try and be steadfast about it, they will get off your back eventually. x

Take one step at a time, we're all here for the same reason

Thank you spanna I seem to have something in my eye....It is indeed nearly time to inflict my triangle on unsuspecting babes. Sally Army band will be along soon

Ma, don’t you ever beat yourself up again, you hear me? Or I’m coming at you fast and furious brandishing Barrie. Your time will come for a long AF stint, you’ve had so much going on in the last few years and you’ve done so well just to keep your head above water. Added to that you have given so much help and support to so many babes on this bus...if I could nominate you for some kind of award then I would.

Honestly, without you and Spanna I wouldn’t have got to day 83, you both quite literally saved me.

Good Morning ! I'm still here and still (mostly) AF . Still reading. I hope you are OK MsHoolie.

I got through school half term relatively unscathed . A big family dinner, where I did have a few drinks. Just a few, like a normal person. No crying, arguing or falling over . No DP asking me 'Are you OK?' with raised eyebrows the next day. Which was nice. On the other hand, as spanna says I'm not sure why I bothered as I can never see the point of 'just one'. I suppose it was a sort of test for myself. Maybe? And I've had a weekend away in Birmingham with DS where I only had one cocktail and one glass of wine with dinner. Birmingham was surprisingly wonderful . I loved it.

One thing I like about this thread is you can feel so alone in your thoughts around drinking, moderating, stupid shit you've done etc then you read posts like spanna's and Margie's and realise, actually, we are all very similar. I find that comforting .

I've also decided that when I grow up I want to be like spanna and Margie .

Same here Heman, the wise words of margie, spanna, venus and many many more have been an inspiration to me. Ma, love your humour! Mshoolie* how are you? I think about you.

I'm mostly AF too, am doing AF Monday - Thursday, and moderating (about 1/2 a bottle a day) at weekends. So much less than I was drinking before, hope I can keep it up. It's almost 3 weeks now and I'm starting to feel so much better, sleeping better, head less fuzzy, skin better, feel calmer.
If I have a wobble I come here and read. It helps.
Thank you all

Wow. The bus is fairly speeding along with all you lovely people, new and old. I need a proper catch up later.
It's been so busy with work at the moment. It's whelping/calving everytime I pause for breath! It's making me so tired I'm just falling into bed with no desire to drink. Although December is looming, birthday, work party, Christmas etc. I'm trying not to think about it!

Slingsanderrors
I'm on call this weekend, so if you get wobbly I'll be around on MN.

Thanks Mint

Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome from you all. What inspiration!

Well, I managed an evening AF!

I Kept thinking whilst cooking dinner, ironing and in the bath "I'd usually be drinking wine doing this". Slept ok, felt really groggy this morning though but at least I knew it wasn't from wine!

I'm binge reading the sobermummy blog, thanks so much for the recommendation.

I've set myself the goal of a week without any wine bottles in the recycling bin - they were emptied yesterday and I was mortified at how many empties were in there. Slow steps but an AF weekend will be a real test for me and I know I'll be really proud if I achieve it.
Thanks

Heman, this made me well-up: “I've also decided that when I grow up I want to be like spanna and Margie”. If you could have seen me in the summer, I was a booze-addled wreck - it amazes me that anyone would see me as a role model, and makes me realize how far I’ve come. Thank you so much for your kind words, that means more than you know.

Slings, well done on your moderating, Forbes, well done on your AF evening!

I'm not sure I belong here but may I sit for a little while anyway? It seems a lovely place.

I think I've just side-stepped an alcohol problem by a whisker.

Never drank much until the last few years when I finally found happiness and peace. Before that I was lucky - in times of stress or sadness I have no taste for drink.

Over the last few years it crept up to a bottle a day of wine. Last week there was none in the house and it scared me.

Then I got scared because I was scared, if you know what I mean.

So I took a good look at things and came up with some unpretty conclusions:

1. I drank every day, except when I had the flu or something and lost the taste for it
2. I had begun to plan the presence of alcohol in every social activity
3. No hangovers. That may not bother some but it bothered me
4. For the first time in my life I am overweight. I'm not small or light (broad shoulders and very strong) but I have never been fat before, or been on a diet, just trusting my appetite to steer me right. The only change was drink, and it's a flabby kind of weight that just feels wrong somehow

So I decided to try an AF day. Then another, and another.

My first AF day was very mild compared to the stories here. At about 3pm I fancied a glass of wine (I work freelance from home, starting in the early hours when the house is quiet and prefer to drink from mid-afternoon until early evening, then pack it in for the day). To my horror I realised that I was actually just thirsty but my brain had decided somewhere along the way that thirst now means a craving for wine.

The second day I had a sugar craving, but I'm not usually a sweet tooth. Not sure if that's dopamine or just because wine contains natural sugars. Not sure I want to know, the fact that I had any kind of physical come down from the drink really shook me.

The 3rd and 4th days were fine. Good sleep, and already developed the habit of reaching for water or putting on the kettle for a herbal tea rather than thinking about the wine that sits in the fridge the whole week without a second glance.

Hopefully I'll continue to enjoy my weekend drinks (still a bottle each day though, I've never liked having just one or two, I'd prefer none) and equally continue my AF weekdays.

Is sustained moderation achievable? Or am I kidding myself?

Thanks for reading, if you got this far. And for you all, what a wonderful series of threads

Sorry, last month not last week. I'm on my 3rd moderate week

Welcome Dutch and Forbes hi everyone. I'm still wheezing and spluttering but not had a drink all week.

Oh God, I hate saying when others are struggling and low but things apart from being unwell are really great, really on the up, if I was well enough I'd be 'snow whiting' again, bursting into song and hi fiving strangers. How different to last year everything is when I was a puffy middle aged, broke and depressed drunk, seemingly trapped with a grade A bastard.

Things can change people. Not easy but very possible. I'm off to celebrate with a Nurofen and my inhaler

Welcome Dutch good to have you onboard and yes everyone is welcome here it sounds like you've done some good reflection of how you've been and where you want to be. I think that moderation can be achieved, it really depends on the individual. I realised some time ago that I really can't moderate - it's all or nothing for me, but that's just me We have some very successful moderators on the bus, who can probably advise better than me.

Forbes there will be days when you don't drink and wake up with 'hangover' symptoms, it's been quite common amongst some of the babes, me included. I used to have a taste of metal in my mouth this went on for weeks.

Slings stick with it babe, you're doing really well - I wouldn't call me a grown up really, still 19 inside a 50 year olds body. Glad you're inspired, take whatever you can from me x

As Margie has said about herself. I was a complete and utter pisshead when I came onboard. I functioned, ran a business, organised the kids, did a degree, from the outside world I had the perfect life but it was a mask, I'd been drinking most days for years, a functioning alcoholic and it was just normal to me!

Margie my Spanna to you, for me, was a babe called Sobersoc or Socfish based in Oz (she used to drive the bus for us at night) and the penny just dropped for me one day from reading her posts. My other hero is Beaches we would go week to week doing AF days sometimes she had done 7 days and I'd be close behind on 6 etc. It really helps to have another babe at a similar pace/time (can't really explain) to bounce off each other. Beaches hope you're lurking sunshine x

Something that Margie said last night really resonated with me 'my sobriety is so precious to me' - it so is

Lux I am so glad that it's all on the up, you deserve it and I can't wait for you to do your snow whiting with all those bluebirds circling around you - get that vitamin C down you babe

I hope that I can give others the strength to help their penny drop

spanna I think I actually love you! Your posts make this thing so much more bearable and help me to realise I will get this sorted

You guys......

Good for you Forbes! I'm so pleased your enjoyed the blog it was recommended on here and I really enjoyed!

Day 6 af. Each time I do this it gets a bit easier. I am no where near out of the woods but the beginning has not been as hard this time. I guess that is progress!

hello there - i have just posted on a thread called ,why do you wine' and i said i drank a bottle of Mateus rose every night and everyone seemed to say and agreed with each other that i was an alcoholic.

So here I am.

I didn't think i was, i just like drinking wine at the end of the day

would you ladies say i was an alcoholic?
i'm a bit tearful now actually..

Ach. I hate those type of threads Sofa. You ALWAYS get posters who think having a thimble of sherry at Christmas AND New Years Eve is overdoing it, making you feel bad and then others who drink the same or more leaving you feeling confused and horrible. And I hate the word alcoholic. It has awful connotations attached to it and is unhelpful.

How do you feel about your drinking? Why do you drink? Do YOU really, honestly think you drink too much/for the wrong reasons? Forget the word alcoholic .

Lux I am sorry you are STILL feeling poorly. I have been struck down with a coldy fluey lurgy this afternoon. Oof. I feel so ill .

Please don't cry Margie because then I'll cry and we'll both end up with horrid red eyes/noses/faces . I imagine you and spanna sort of sailing gently and serenely through life being lovely and kind and wise. Like proper grown up ladydees with their shit together .

Sofa welcome lovely,
To answer your question 'are you an alcoholic?' I don't know, nobody here would because I don't believe it's a one size fits all label.
The volume you drink is not good for your health and well being but you know that, I say that with no judgement because every single poster here knows and understands the pleasure of a drink, the sheer relief at the end of a busy day of relaxing with a cold glass of wine.

It's true to say that on MN there are those who never drink and those who sink gallons and there doesn't seem to be much inbetween.

I'm going to guess and say you made your post because you are a little concerned about your drinking, am I right?

If you want to cut down, quit, talk it through, get ideas to help you and help you think clearly then join in, as much or little as you wish. If you prefer to just read the threads for a while that's fine too.

One thing I do know, there are many, many smartly dressed, made-up, hard working, clean homed, involved loving mothers that drink way more than is healthy - and it's so fucking normal it's scary.
It's a rare soap character who doesn't drink, a rare lifestyle article that doesn't reference a gin or prosecco.

Anyhow, I can't breathe so I'm going to my bedd but welcome x

Sorry Sofa I misread and assumed it was a thread you had started.
Also I can spell bed correctly!

I'm taking my aching bones to bed now, my cough is hurting my ribs.
Working 15 odd hour days right now, I'm very tired!