The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Braving The Wine Witch & Her Alcohol Free Autumn

[Mouseface]

Hello

I’m Mouse one of the Brave Babes who ride on this wonderful Bus, called Gerald, along with all the Opal Fruits wrappers and of course Barry The squid.

We all have a wise variety of life experiences and experiences with alcohol too. We’re not admirers of hang overs and we certainly don’t do judgey pants!

We’re here to ride along with you, when life is pants but also when it’s not as well and you my want to celebrate that bit too much!

So find a seat and come take a ride. I’ll link the previous and also the very first link and the reason we’re all here.

*Mouse

venus I wish I could nominate you for some sort of award. You are the ultimate voice of reason and compassion on these threads.
I have sometimes thought of suggesting that Mumsnet have an annual award ceremony- for instance there is an amazing poster on the Referendum threads who has kept them going through thick and thin for the last 18 months, is incredibly knowledgeable and writes beautifully. I am sure there are loads more we could come up with
One thing I’ve definitely noticed is that my appetite is coming back. For months I’ve existed quite often on half a bag of chips a day or a crispy pancake as I’ve simply had no appetite at all.
The first few days here, I was existing on Fortisips but today and yesterday, I managed to eat a toddler size meal which is a start.

msHoolie - congratulations on the AF'ness and the appetite returning.. I hope your path is smooth..

@tang - are you ok lovely?

I've been absent (in more ways than one) but will scroll back and catch up...

7 DAYS??? mrs Hoolie you rock!! Go, go,go.
Someone remind me why I work with Veterans. In my self employment workshop today for WIS ( wounded,injured and sick) the groups had to set up a business, give it a name and strap line. Two sensible answers and then came group 3..
What is your business idea?
A gardening business.
What are you calling it?
Garden Barber.
And the strap line is...?
"We trim your bush!"

Cue a classroom of soldiers giggling like schoolboys and me desperately trying to keep a straight face.

Ma I just spat my tea out - brilliant shear genius

Hoolies you go Babe, so good to hear sending hugs to you x

Mint bar trial was really good fun, I haven't done bar work for 30 odd years and I was very nervous, it's like riding a bike - I passed and they'll call me as and when they need me, yay Hope you're ok babe x

Big shout out to Margie how are you my darling?

Beaches autumn must be looking sensational over that there atlantic

Hope if you're lurking - hello

Nuff Joey Rural Dub how are you all, come and say hello if you can

Baby how's it going sugar?

Lux I hope you're feeling better babe

Who'd have ever thought - I've become a master baker of bread - did my first loaf a few weeks ago and I love it!! Fills my time and my tummy what is my life coming to, middle aged and baking bread

Big Hello to you all, keep on going one day at a time x

Oh Spanna, you are such a star for thinking of me. I am on day 81 and feeling better than I have done in years.

Good for you on the bread making and bar-tending - is there no end to your talents? Big hugs to you my lovely.

Love and strength to all babes fighting the good fight.

Day 81?????? margie? Fucking hell. Well done

Thanks Ma. Hard to say why this attempt has been different but I literally couldn’t cope with my drinking any more, felt like it was now or never.

Love the Garden Barber chat BTW!

So impressed margie. Seriously.
The banter with these guys is always good. In one session someone wanted to train as a reflexologist. Another chap said he would never use a reflexologist. I asked why not, at which he pulled off his trainers and waggled his prosthetics shouting "Cos I've nae feet!!!"

Another who had suffered serious damage to his hands in an explosion once offered me a "high five" saying "high two and a half? That's all I've got!"

Congratulations on your 81 Days Margie that is fucking fab
I bet you look better than you've done in years too
Have you done that girlie weekend away yet? and how have your family been with you being AF, have they got their heads around it yet? Cor blimey love you're fast approaching 100 days - YAY!!!!
Actually the breadmaking started with boredom, too much time on my hands avoiding my pet hate of housework, hoovering being most hated then I remembered the other day that my grandad owned a bakery with his 2 sisters, ages before I was born, must be in the blood You sound so positive, chuffed for you babe x

Sunrise this morning
This makes it all worthwhile

Hello everyone,
Wow Margie 81 days is amazing! Spanna fresh bread, how lovely.
misshoolie I know things are shit at the moment but 7 days, and it's just the start, and whole new life awaits if you hang on in there.

Still feeling rough so I'm sorry to to nc everyone. My chest is bad and it's hard to sleep but hopefully I'll be better soon.
Af right now and planning how to handle the festivities ahead.

Night all x

Hi all

Huge well done MsHoolies, 7 days is amazing considering how low you've been. Minute by minute keep your strength and focus, you are doing so well. I think of you every day, raising a mug of hot tea to you!

To the rest of the bus, keep fighting the good fight. I am doing OK, it's getting easier to punch the witch when she comes knocking. I just need to deal with weekends next. Baby steps...

Baby steps, you're so right Razor.

Thanks Ma, Lux and Spanna. Love the photo Spanna. Hope you feel better soon Lux. High 2&a half Ma - !

In answer to your questions Spanna - my family think it’s a bit weird and don’t think my sobriety is going to last, but they’ve been ok. Girlie weekend is in 2 weekends time but I’m getting myself mentally ready for it. I look pretty good, have lost 3kgs but still have the skin of a 14 year old boy! You remain a huge inspiration hon, I channel my inner Spanna all the time!

Happy Wednesday to every babe, if I can do this then everyone can, I was an utterly hopeless case. Baby steps, as Razor so rightly says. Today I will not be drinking.

Hello, I've found this thread and hope it's ok to join?

I need to stop drinking. I've been drinking heavily (1+bottle of wine) for most of the past few months, but honestly have always been far too reliant upon alcohol to relax/distress. I have always been a big drinker.

I'm scared stiff about the damage I'm doing to myself. I've a drs appointment at the end of the month where I intend to be honest and ask for tests (I've previously gone to dr and chickened out about the real reason I'm there for).

I guess I'm posting in order to be accountable. It's too easy for me to find an excuse to drink.

I'm waffling, but tonight I really will try to not have a drink.

I'm scared of what will happen if I don't stop, scared of how I will feel being sober, scared of what the withdrawal side effects will be since I have no idea what to expect. In short, I'm just scared.

Thank you for reading.

Hi Forbes im new here too. For the past 6 months I've been stopping, starting, moderating not moderating and drinking too much. Have not ever had a good relationship with alcohol.

I am currently day 5 af. I'm finding sober blogs really helpful currently. Someone recommended this one:

mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

And I am really enjoying. Good luck.

Hello Saywhen and thank you so much.

What you write about stopping, starting, moderating and then not moderating before the cycle starts over again is very very familiar.
I hate the "tomorrow, I won't drink until x" thoughts in the middle of the night too.
I shall have a look at that blog and I aim tonight to have an honest talk with DH and explain my worries.
I know he'll be supportive and I just think if I say it all out loud I'll be less inclined to mindlessly open another bottle.
Well done on 5 days! Do you mind me asking whether you've had any side effects? I confess I'm a bit scared of the unknown.....
Best of luck to you too.

Hi Forbes and saywhen

I don't have much in the way of useful advice but I was drinking over a bottle of wine a day. I've done a few weeks now if mostly cutting out the mid week drinking and is is becoming less of a habit, I don't panic now when I get home from work and can't pour a teatime wine.

I am not sleeping well and tired during the day, that's the biggest problem for me. I feels anxious at bedtime.

On the plus side, I am a better and more attentive mother. My thinking is clearer and I have more normal bowels (instead of constipation/diarrhoea or both) and I am less bloated.

Last night I had a terrible dream. I dreamt I got smashed and fell over and tore a huge chunk out of my leg, a gash on my head and a huge sore graze down my back. Someone was there and really shocked and I just put my trousers on inside out to hide the blood. I didn't feel any pain as I was so utterly wrecked. I woke up feeling so disoriented, but I haven't had a drink since the weekend sonar least I didn't have the guilt trip or the injuries in real life!

Forbes the first time I stopped - my wine most days had been pretty regular I found it very hard to sleep. Once asleep I slept
Well but I was so tired when i woke.

Tbh I expected to feel really good and not feeling great quickly got in the way of me sticking to it. But in that blog it talks about alcohol reducing dopamine so needing to stop for a while before things get back to normal. This has really given me hope about longer term feeling ok if I can manage no alcohol.

I also felt itchy first time but don't know if I was being a bit paranoid as I know that's a symptom. I have treats. Nice non alcoholic drinks - which I wouldn't normally spend the money on. Good luck. Reading about other people really helps.

Razorboy- thanks that's a good benefit to remember.

Waking up without feeling guilt or shame is pretty amazing. Good luck.

Hi Forbes, Say When and Razor,

I know that feeling so well Forbes - scared of life with booze, scared of life without it. Alcohol has been my crutch, my friend, my comfort blanket and my go to problem-solver for the last 25 years. But you know what? It wasn't really my friend, it had slowly been destroying my health, my relationships, my self-confidence, my bank balance and my spirit for all those years, until I told it to fuck off out of my life for good. I don't need friends like that, and neither do you.

I'm not going to pretend it's easy. You need to get your ducks in a row which means finding loads of sober support and using it all the time. I read Allen Carr's book which I found really helpful and I still dip into it when I need to. I read sober blogs, I went to AA for a time, I write down my feelings, I go to bed early, I say no to social events that I don't think I can handle.

Life on day 82 is infinitely better than it was. I am a better wife, mother and friend. I achieve so much more, I am thinner and I have saved loads of money. I am proud of myself for the first time in 25 years, I can look at myself in the mirror without regret. I was just like you - I spent every day desperate for the moment that I could lose myself in a bottle. It was my addiction and my obsession. Please believe me that life is so much better on the other side.

Margie that sounds amazing. Congratulations on 82 days. Can I ask what do you tell people? I'm already worrying about what to say at Christmas when I'm not drinking.

Thanks SayWhen. Funny you should ask that, as one of my major stumbling blocks/paranoias was other peoples' reactions to me not drinking.

First of all, it depends on who it is and what the situation is. One of my good friends who I socialize with a lot knows an abridged version of the truth, so I feel comfortable when she's around as I know she's got my back. In two weeks I'm spending the weekend with six of my best girlfriends, and I'm planning on telling them the truth. But if I don't want to, or it feels easier to lie, then that's what I'll do. My sobriety is so precious to me right now, that if I have to tell a white lie to keep people off my back, then I will. Sometimes I'll pour an AF beer into a glass and people will be none the wiser. Sometimes I say I'm training for a race, sometimes I say I'm driving.

The thing is, people are actually a lot less interested than you think they're going to be - it's only people who are worried about their own drinking who would give you any type of shit for being AF, and even then, once they've got a drink in hand, they'll quickly forget that you haven't.

Welcome Forbes, Say When and Razor

I can relate to everything you're saying. I used to drink at least a bottle of wine a night most nights two on my own I'm from a family of social drinkers (grew up in France where wine is the norm) Any excuse to have a drink is my family's motto I found this thread probably near on 5 years ago. I tried to moderate but realised I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't get past 3 days to start with, then I managed a week AF and caved, kept caving. Did a dry January about 4 years ago (failed for the last few days, as my friends son died suddenly and I just had to have a drink) I then got absolutely hammered on my birthday a few years ago and woke up the next day and thought enough is enough. So I set myself a 100 day challenge - my friends scoffed ( and really didn't believe I could do it. My family weren't much better) I think they just assumed that I'd cave (and I really thought I would at times - life's stresses and strains, habit, that Ahhhh feeling after that first sip etc) I also think it made my friends look at their own drinking habits and they didn't like what they saw. So I managed to get to 100 days, running up to it I started to panic, thinking fuck what do I do when I reach my goal (celebrate of course....) but I didn't I decided to do another 100 days, it gets easier, when I'd done that I thought, well I may as well do one year, so Christmas came and went etc etc.
At times it is hard and as Margie said, a cold white wine (fizz if I could) was my 'go to' , my crutch, the way I coped with life - whether good or bad. I've still got my 'I'm done drinking' app going and today it says that I haven't had a drink for 953 Days, 78 cases of wine and I would have spent £12,861 I really wish I'd put this money aside ( I didn't) it's a shocking amount!!!
I'm not saying any of this to come across as smug or a pompous git. I just wanted to share with you some of my journey so far. I am a better mum, I have so much more patience, I'm a kinder person, the thought of being hungover fills me with dread (I used to wake up pissed and do the school run, yes in the car ) I feel free from the wine witch and it feels good. I actually get a bit of a kick out of saying 'no I don't drink'
I completely understand the worry of telling people and what they'll think. I used to have to avoid my local pub to stay away from temptation and also some of my friends for a while, because they would be like 'just have one Spanna' I'm not a 'just one kind of girl'. I've realised over the time that I was moderating (or trying to) that I can't drink like other normal people - I used to and still think - what's the point in having one glass of wine with my dinner - it's not the way I'm made.
Anyhow this has turned into an essay but I hope some of this helps all of you. Your sleep will get better, that I promise, it takes around a week and you'll feel your energy levels rising. Your skin will get better. You will start to feel better. Replace your wine sugar with sweet treats, there are loads of AF drinks and mocktail recipes online.
Stick with us Babes - no-one judges on this bus, enjoy the ride and take what you can from the wonderful Babes on here

Spanna thank you for a wonderful and inspiring post. You are amazing and have done amazingly. I so needed your wisdom tonight - 66 days in and am bored and wobbly. But I will try to be strong and I can’t afford on any level to give in. So thanks for strengthening my resolve, and being an inspiration to us all.

Spanna your post has really resonated with me.

I did Sober October, with three days off admittedly, but that was the longest I'd been AF in many, many years and I felt so proud of myself.

But, I'm now back on the bottle of wine a night which is just so SO silly! I know I can do this and I felt so much better for being AF. Need to re-programme that nonsense 'reward' idea after a long day.

I actually found it easy to do the month (ish - three big events, hey ho) as I'd 'pledged' to do it for fundraising. I need to find that determinantion again just for me!

Razorboy thank you THANK YOU for mentioning the bowel effects of excessive drinking. I had wondered if it was just me.... without going into too much detail, I have always been worried that if I might be needed to do a stool sample, a la Gillian McKeith diet doctor, that I'd need a bucket and not a cleaned out empty chinese take-away box like she always showed on her shows.

Two weeks into my AF month I pooed solid poo! SOLID! Sorry if that's TMI....I do hope some of you might recognise what I mean?

Apologies for lowering the tone