The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Braving The Wine Witch & Her Alcohol Free Autumn

[Mouseface]

Hello

I’m Mouse one of the Brave Babes who ride on this wonderful Bus, called Gerald, along with all the Opal Fruits wrappers and of course Barry The squid.

We all have a wise variety of life experiences and experiences with alcohol too. We’re not admirers of hang overs and we certainly don’t do judgey pants!

We’re here to ride along with you, when life is pants but also when it’s not as well and you my want to celebrate that bit too much!

So find a seat and come take a ride. I’ll link the previous and also the very first link and the reason we’re all here.

*Mouse

Hi, can I come on board the bus?(long time MN lurker) I’ve come to realise that I need to lay off booze for a while. It’s been on my mind for some time, but last week I got so wasted I had the fear and a hangover for three days . Still have the fear actually and haven’t made any contact with my friends who I was with (although it isn’t unusual for us not to talk for a week or so).

I often find I have no full up filter when drinking. I don’t always moderate the amount I’m drinking, and I made a complete fool of myself in front of several friends and their kids and mine at a house party last week (and it’s not the first time).

I’ve badly bruised my shoulder, which has meant I’ve not been able to go swimming all week (something I’ve been trying to do daily for physical and mental health) and I’m generally mortified about my drunkenness and am paranoid that my friends have had enough of me.

I’ve written a list of pro’s and con’s about drinking and the con’s most definitely outweigh the pro’s and although I really don’t want to drink this weekend, it’s going to be hard to break the habit.

I’m telling myself that I’ll give up for a few weeks to reset my tolerance. What gives you the strength to have AF days?

Sorry for the essay, I could talk at length about times I’ve been the drunken ugly bum, but I don't want to give you a bad impression of me

Hi all just wanted to pop in and say how proud I am of you Margie. Your a total star. How did the half go??

I am still reading but finding it hard to know what to write. Firmly in the sidecar at the moment- the intention is there in the morning but by the evening the resolve has totally gone. But still hoping that I can at least get back to the point of being af some of the time.

Sofa welcome no judgement on this thread my lovely, park your bum next to me on the back seat and help yourself to an opal fruit (just don't take the green ones) read back a few pages of this thread and you'll see where some of us have been and where we are now. As the lovely Lux says alcohol is everywhere, if you think it's a problem then so be it but if you don't then that's ok too. We're not here to judge and we help one another, what we all have in common is drinking

Doris you are a love, thank you

Herman you're so right. There are a lot of judgey perfect people on MN Dose yourself up and get yourself an early night, I hope you sleep ok and feel better in the morning x

Saywhen Day 6 is awesome, keep going babe, you'll get to really feel the benefits soon. It does get easier, that's a promise

What's with the blushing Ma it's all the truth and you should be very proud of your contribution on this bus, you are our rock

Sweet if you're lurking I've been thinking about you a lot recently, I hope you're ok?

Fox how are you bearing up this evening? Hope your day's been ok and that you're managing to relax and enjoying your soberdom. Hugs to you my dear x

Completely pooped this week, work is shite and it's all going to shit, my oldies are the only thing keeping me sane and I love them dearly. We have an irish lady who is in late stages of dementia, never says very much and when she does she's not very coherent (used to be a nanny for the royal family) we had fits of giggles today whilst we swayed to some music holding each other tightly, such a moment.

Right my bed, Law & Order Special Victims Unit (my latest addiction) are calling. Night all x

Elba welcome back lovely good to see you
Tuck yourself in and make yourself comfy

July just saying welcome, from my sick bed!
I'll talk to you properly tomorrow but right now sleep is what I need!

Welcome to new posters and lurkers who have de-lurked. Elba so glad to see you post. You know it doesn't matter whether you are driving the bus, bumping along on the back seat, clinging on by your fingernails on the roof rack, or sitting in the sidecar swigging gin... you are still on this journey with us, and us with you.

Dutch I thought your list of reflections was interesting, and most important was number 2 on your list - the one about planning events (or your life) around drinking. In the early days I could manage physically without alcohol, no sweats, no withdrawal, and an alcohol free day or two was ok. In fact it all helped to convince me that I was fine. But for me the real freedom has been the mental freedom - not having to plan how/when to buy, not having to plan my day around my drinking (or my drinking around my day's commitments), not having to think about whether there is 'enough' left in the house, not having to hide the empties from the neighbours, or from family.

I just want to have a massive moan. I think I said earlier that I fractured my elbow when I fell during my abortive hanging attempt on Friday.
I went to A&E and was given a temporary cast, was told that I would need surgery and that someone would contact me on Monday but didn’t hear anything.
Yesterday, I noticed my fingers were swelling slightly and had a bluish tinge.
When I got up today, it was much worse and my fingers were starting to go numb.
I showed the duty doctor at work who phoned the orthopaedic peeps and they said to cut the cast off which one of my colleagues did to reveal this.

Thank you for being so warm and welcoming. I just want to tell you a bit of my life and why i find myself on the bus. i don't like opal fruits so can i bring my mint matchmakers to share with all? There's zillions in a box.

i am 62 years old and i have two sons and an Exh, who is a vile piece of humanity.

My eldest son has borderline personality disorder. I am sorry to say that from the caring side, and i am sorry to say to those that have this disorder, it is utterly draining. I have to basically keep him alive. Every. Single . Day. He used to self medicate with heroin. AND a bottle of JD every day. I have been places no mother should be. And now he has been clean for over 12 months of everything, but his mental health is shit. Last week i took a delivery of a parcel for him... it was a rope to hang himself with, this is day after day after day.

My other son is the complete opposite. He is training to be a paramedic. So i spend time with him. Talking through his day and bringing him down off the ceiling, because of the things people do, and do to each other.

I have to work alongside my Ex h. I do all of the admin as he is crap with the customers. So all the whining comes to my door. Emails phone calls, letters admin, comes to me. He swans about the place being the big "I am" but everyone knows I hold the place together and i am the face of our business.

But I am so so tired. Sorry for whining on, I know folks are worse off than me.

So, at the end of the day, i hit a bottle of Mateus Rose wine. Or Tesco's own. And off load to the dog. She always listens and never comments.

And then I went on a thread, when most people sucked in their teeth and said i was drinking too much and was hurtling towards head, brain, neck, cancer. Holy feck i thought. This is WINE FGS. The I came here and was welcomed. Thank you so much.

I also have bloods taken every month for full liver function. I have an auto immune disease and i have to take 3000mg of cellcept every day . Not once has my gp or surgeon said i have a problem with anything.

But maybe i DO have a problem, in the grand scheme of things, do i honestly think i drink too much? (face the mirror....sofa - yes you do - the purple nose gives it away)

So i am going to rumble along with you fine wenches and pick your brains, and get myself out of this slide i have got into.

God, I shall miss it.
First day tomorrow.

Fucking hell hoolie thats a bruise and a half!!!
sofa no judging here and I love the phrase "fine wenches".

I haven’t been offered another appointment, just advice to keep it elevated and take painkillers
My only option is to go back and spend another fucking 12 hours in A&E.
On a positive note, I am going into my 11th AF day which is great although it’s not exactly an ‘achievement’ as I haven’t really had much choice but, in an odd way, it’s actually quite a relief to have that choice taken away and not be doing that constant ‘I won’t drink today to well, one glass won’t hurt to I may as well finish the bottle.
My keyworker from the drug and alcohol project is coming to my ward round tomorrow which is really positive and I have an appeal against my section on Wednesday which I think I have a reasonable chance of winning if there is a decent aftercare plan in place.
Welcome July and Sofa
The more the merrier!

11 days hoolie is fucking awesome!! So proud of you.
spannaI remember socfish. Wonder if she is still sober. She beat the wine witch big time

Sofa That sounds incredibly hard. Do you have any RL support? Are you in touch with MIND or SANE? They have support groups for carers. Do you get anytime at all to do something just for you?
I’ll be thinking of you. Caring for someone with a chronic mental illness really sucks, no matter how much you love them

apparently on the 'why do you wine' thread

my mental health may go up the swanny

come and walk in my shoes you lot!!!
I know the ladies are being helpful, but (sigh)

MsHooliesCardigan

no i don't really. we just get on with it. take it literally day by day.

we have been down every single road possible - but because the diagnosis is rare in a male, we are just left to deal with it . his doc. told him he was way out of her league!

i have read nearly every book going and tried to educate myself regarding borderline but i will confess, it is hard going somedays, especially the BAD days.

His addictions are under control at the moment, but i have no doubt at all that he will kill himself before he is 28. He is 27 now.

And people wonder why I drink.

mint hello you were very welcoming on a previous attempt on here I hope you are ok.

spanna thank you so much for being so encouraging I really appreciate I've not told a soul yet in real life yet. I hope your work improves.

Mshoolies wow that is some bruise! I hope you are ok.

Congratulations on 11 days.

Welcome sofa and july

forbes how are you getting on?

venus and dutch I am very early days but not needing to buy wine all the time, feel embarrised about It, spend money I could be spending on better things helps. Freedom is a good word. I am early days so still have lots of times I think I could buy some wine on the way home..... but when I get over that it's a releif not to have to if that makes sense.

Day 7 af today. A week ago Today I was on one. No reasons really. Drunk a bottle of wine and half a bottle of gin. Felt awful. Shocked at the amount I can tolerate. Today will be different. I won't feel so awful tomorrow. I can take my dc to clubs without worrying about stinking of last night's booze.

Morning lovely babes, just checking in to say welcome to all. This is such a great place to be. sofaking the general kindness and sympathy you'll see on this thread is a much more effective tool to help people get sober (if that's what they want to do). Very few people will have the remotest clue about your day to day life, they might deal with things differently, perhaps they are all Wonderwoman with perfect lives,

Stay here and read and post if you want to. Being a carer is the most undervalued job I can think of.

Hello sofaking. I posted a pointer to this thread on the one you were on. When I read your post you sounded like me. I often lurked on threads about drinking, questioning myself and my drinking before I said anything out loud. For me, that has made me realise I need to change my relationship with alcohol and change my behaviour.

MsHoolie

A recent post from you made me think you really needed someone to take away your choices for a while, you needed head space while someone took over and almost parented you for a bit. I think it sounds like this is what has happened and given you a bit of breathing space. That arm definitely needs looking at from my nurses perspective, get it checked out by orthos.

To the poster who thanked me for talking about poo - you are welcome! On some of my worst days I have had a few dodgy poo related moments. I won't go in to details but large quantities of alcohol do affect bowels.

I have managed 2 AF days this week. I need to do better, but I've had less when I have drank and haven't started drinking as soon as I walked in the door. I don't want to stop completely, I want a normal relationship with alcohol.

I chose my username from a steely Dan song. I was listening to it the day I joined this thread and feeling so very low and hopeless and hungover. The lyrics are

'will you still have a song to sing when the razor boy comes and takes your fancy things away? Will you still be singing it on that cold and windy day?'

It also talks about women in cages. Wine is my razor boy and it keeps me in a cage. If I am not careful I have a lot to lose and I don't want to, my health, lovely DH, kids, home, job. So I need to fight and change and keep the things that matter.

Love to you all on the bus

I can't believe it! I wrote a bloody long post to you all and I got the circle of doom for 15 minutes then it disappeared! Bloody fecking Mumsnet!!!!

Are there any Babes in Leicestershire? I'm sending out a distress signal.

Mirror sorry I'm nowhere near, you want to talk it out here?

Morning all, another rough night of coughing and wheezing.

MissHoolie christ, that bruise, looks very nasty.

Lack of breath is leaving me exhausted but I'll be reading and wishing everyone well,

Long time lurker and truly relieved to find this bus and all you lovely ladies! I am day 12 AF. I’ve had several attempts at abstaining and generally have in he past managed for over 6 months but I always spiral back to drinking too much.

I’ve tried moderating but it never works so this time I’m not doing this rollercoaster again! I’ve already had intrusive thoughts whenever I think of never drinking again and worry I will be utterly dull!! Keep writing ladies it’s helping me keep my resolve xx

Welcome sourdough do you know how dull drunk people are? Repeating things over and over again, getting half way through a story then repeating themselves, grabbing your arm and talking to you intently, wasting days of your holiday or weekend because they can't get out of bed the next morning.... all of that is truly boring. And I say it all lightly because we've probably all been there thinking we're the life and soul of the party.

I've had sober nights out where I've laughed till I cried (and remembered it the next day). I've been able to support friends and be strong for them in desperate situations. I've met people who have fascinated me and whose stories have changed my opinions. None of that is boring

mirror whatever is going on I hope are ok. Post if it helps.

I wish I could - unfortunately I can't because it will just be used against me

Razorboy You’re spot on about me needing the choice taken away from me for a while. I worked in a team for young adults with psychosis and our model was very much to collaborate with the patient as far as possible to try to engage them.
There was one patient I spent the best part of a year tiptoeing round her and being ‘collaborative’. It was getting nowhere and, although she wasn’t particularly high risk, her quality of life was virtually zero due to her symptoms.
I went to see her with a doctor and told her that we thought she needed to come into hospital expecting that she’d say No and we’d have to organise a Mental Health Act assessment.
However, she said ‘OK when can I come’? and went off to pack a bag.
I think there are times for many people when they actually want someone to take over and take the choice out of their hands.
Knowing that I can’t drink has made me realise how much of my head space was taken up by alcohol.