13 year age gap - can it work into old age?

[NancyIris]

I am 37 and have recently started seeing a 51 year old man. We have an amazing amount in common and I think he's completely amazing. He is a very caring person and makes me feel very treasured. I am coming out of a broken marriage and have young DC so am wary. He has had various long-term relationships / been engaged in the past but has not been married or had a family.
He is very keen for me to move in and has mentioned marriage (as proof of commitment rather than to put pressure on me).
I am head over heels right now but also a bit scared by the age gap! I feel like it will be magnified as we get older? Also he has some health issues such as high BP, asthma, old sports injuries (he used to run / train a lot, but less now) etc whereas I have the constitution of a moorland pony.
Should I be worrying about the far-off future like this or just enjoying now?
Does this age gap seem too wide?

My MIL (17 year age gap) found FIL's retirement worked very well because he simply became the house husband and SAHP. And he was a far better cook than she was, so I think they all benefitted. He didn't need caring for until right at the end (and by then she had already been through breast cancer, so he'd probably done more caring than she had).

There is a 13 yr age gap between DH and I. We married 10 yrs ago and now have primary-school aged DC's. I am now 43 and he is 56.
If you'd have asked me this question 6 or 7 years ago I'd have said 'go for it' but now, I'm more inclined to say 'step away, don't get involved.'
DH developed arthritis a few years ago and has also put on a huge amount of weight, he's now obese. He never wants to do anything and whenever he does go out, he constantly moans about anything and everything. He is a grumpy old man, already. I want to have fun still and be sociable and LIVE. I am terrified at what the future holds. All I can see ahead is misery for me.
Other posters are right, the age gap isn't noticeable until one of you starts to develop age-related problems.

Please don't rush into this.
My other thought is that how will he cope with becoming a step-dad at this age? I think in hindsight my DH was too old and set in his ways to have children - he adores them and is a great father in many ways, but he has never coped with the intrusion on his 'me' time and finds the clutter of a family home intolerable.

Good luck op x

I think the age gap is an issue but everyone settles for something.

My DH is 11 years older than me and honestly it wouldn't have been my first choice to have an age gap like that. Old age is a worry, plus we aren't going through the same life stages at the same time.

But it's not so simple, is it. I'm 31 and hardly any men have been interested in me in my life. I'm nothing special but I'm at least average, but it's been hard to meet someone. I had one bf before DH, we were together five years and he literally laughed at the suggestion of marriage/DC and even at moving in together. He said he was way to young to even think about it, he was 30 at the time. He is now dating a 23 year old.

It's unfair but I feel like as women our choice is often a much older guy or no one.

My parents have a 13 yr gap. Seems more noticeable now my mum is in her 70's and has taken on a caring role for him.

Sorry but this is bringing up red flags and I have alarm bells ringing for you... you're barely separated fro your exH, you've been dating this guy for 3 months, his past seems somewhat uncommitted, he wants you to move in together and has talked about marriage?!!! Really it's far too soon I'd say he's love bombing you at the very least. Take care

I'm 38 and DH is 51. We've been together for 16 years and married 10. Yeah he may get old and ill but we will deal with that if it happens. I was very ill for 2 years and he supported me through that. As pp said I would be more concerned with the rapid move to living together and marriage in such early days