DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Sorry to hear it has been a tough day jojo. Chocolate is a good consolation no more calrific than boozing. And as you will be hangiver free you will be stronger to deal with it all tomorrow.

Well done all of you for getting through. One thing I did embrace fairly quickly is no hangovers. The joy of getting out of bed with no fuzzy shaky feeling and having to dash off to the loo. Then the aching in my body which would last all day.
I did actually have a fleeting wobble of my own tonight when I came out of my dance class and passed the co op. I thought 'ooh maybe I could...' when I get these moments I play the tape forward and visualise...
drink entire bottle
pass out (sofa or bed)
wake at 6 dying of thirst
dash to the loo with the shits
ache all day
have anxiety all day.
Thats what happens if I have 'one' drink
the funny thing is that I forgot about the wobble until I posted here. Its so very fleeting now as opposed to the near obsession in the first few weeks! Keep on going sober warriors.

Also plan something treaty as a reward for getting through it. If you were anything like me,alcohol was my 'reward' for pretty much anything. It's retraining the brain to actively choose a different reward.

I could be a rubbish moderator (guilty binger) for the rest of my life.

Or I could tough out these first few months and seek the big prize!

My savings on alcohol are over £400 per month.

God, yes I understand that about moderating!

There is a good blog written by someone who is trying to moderate rather than abstain and it seems like such hard work.... the emotional energy she puts into trying to control the drinking seemed so hard and so exhausting, and she is on the same merry-go-round for a few years now. I cannot remember which blog it is, as I found it too triggery and stopped reading it.

Savings..... can you put it away (or half of it at least) and then watch your savings account climb? My DM when she stopped smoking used to spend her savings on really nice jewellery. I am DETERMINED to get my family on a holiday this year. :)

Please help me. Am 7 weeks on Sunday and really still wanting to drink. It's not easing up. When will it if ever? I just don't want to feel this internal struggle always.

Yellow I can't post fully but will be back. Hang on in there. An experienced person will be along x

Yellow, seven weeks is brilliant! You probably feel better physically and your skin and hair look better. Apologies for being shallow but I found that the physical improvements really motivated me. Also the clearer head and steadier mood are really good things. It is SO worth continuing to be sober.

But but but, it still isn't easy, is it? Can you identify what your triggers are? Is it a certain time of day, or certain people, or hunger, or what? Can you shake up your evening, or skip a few social events, or stop cooking and buy takeaways instead, or or or something (anything) to bypass the triggers. Can we help you identify what the stumbling blocks are?

Or do you want to rant and I'll listen? And are you being really kind to yourself? Seriously nice to yourself? Rest, food, baths, podcasts, chocolate - whatever floats your boat.

and to you.

yellow when are you wanting to drink? Is it just socially or a daily battle?

yellow how are doing?

Hang on to your 7 weeks with everything that you have got. Protect your efforts. What you have achieved is extraordinary.

How disappointed would you be if it's week 8 or 12 or 32 that brings the peace we are all searching for.

People have made it to that place so it's there for the taking.

It's apparently common to feel a bit flat and struggling. I was like it but hung on and changed my routine to get through it ... And read yet more sober blogs and sighed up to club soda mob to give me new tools. Xxx It gets easier honest!

thank you so much everyone. Am ok. It's a daily struggle dona Drank a half bottle vodka from 3pm - 7pm every day (for many years). Funny enough socially am fine.
thanks glad did read that 6-8 weeks can be make or break for some people. I know if I start I'll be back to where I was in a heartbeat.
matron x for giving me a x! Feel a bit tearful at mo.
umpteen yeah hair's nice, is that why?! still fat and spotty but the puffiness has gone from my face and my eyes are brighter. I s;pose I do look better. sigh, just the idea of jumping into my big comfy slipper is so tempting all the time (even tho that very slipper is not so comfy at all and makes me so miserable).
Anyways, again big hugs for being there for me all xx

Cheesy where are you planning to get your family to for a holiday?

Yellow the big miserable vodka slipper, I have one of those except mine has other spirits added to turn it into a bastard evil cocktail slipper.

I'll be honest with you yellow as it happens tonight I am fancying wine. I have a bottle in the kitchen its my OH's. He's not here so its just sat there! But I posted last night about how 'playing the tape forward' stops me from being tempted (to the point of actually drinking it)
I guess I am posting this to explain that to some extent we will always have that internal dialogue.
lucy do you still have the dialogue? I'm only addressing you personally as I know you are a long term sober person!
I had it last night too but its no longer white knuckling.

Hello thread.. :) Sorry for being very absent; I am going through sheer hell with my divorce and every day seems to bring yet more catastrophic news from my ex, who seems intent on leaving us all destitute.

dona I'm at nearly 600 days and I do sometimes have those thoughts, but even in the face of the car crash I'm going through at the moment it's more along the lines of "oh, yes, that's what I used to do but I don't do that any more..". I have thought today about drinking, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't, but I am completely aware that drinking will only make a shit situation worse. Once you've had the scales fall completely from your eyes I think it's quite hard to pretend you don't know that (if that makes sense).

Life can be shit, it really can. It can also be brilliant of course - but I know I've had a shit day when I read the news and think to myself, "ah well, at least I'm not Oscar Pistorious facing 15 years in prison for murder - life could be worse!" . But god how awful would I feel if I drank my way through it... it would be an even bigger car crash.

dona agree with Teapot life can still be shit but I know that booze will just make it more shit. The dialogue has pretty much gone because I know it will not help! Hang in there yellow

You too Teapot

teapot
One thing I cannot be more amazed at is my finances. I reckon I've saved around 800 on not drinking. Combined with my less veiny puffy face, calm innards and new joy at waking up hangover free I won't be going back to that. Ever. Ever. Ever.
yellow and matron have you read the Allen Carr drinking book? I'd thoroughly recommend it. It might kick start a different way of thinking.

Hi everyone and to all of you. I'm still here lurking and reading every day.....struggling to keep up!! Still DRY, woohoo sorry I've been a bit of a rubbish support to you guys.
I second Allen Carr's book and like one or two others on here, I cannot recommend Andrew Johnson's "quit drinking" app enough. Actually, all his apps I listen to are fab! Google him and you'll find them.
I can't bear the thought of having a drink even though I occasionally struggle and want one. The reason being is I can't stand the thought of the self loathing that I'll definitely put myself through.....and I definitely look better and I like that, which is shallow but I don't care. I want that more than I want to drink. Keep on hanging on in there sober warriors! In the words of Winston Churchill, KEEP BUGGERING ON

Hello hurricane I fancy a bit of AJ tonight but my headphones are in the car
One of the things that used to cross my mind when I was a soak was how happy I was in my childhood through to my twenties when I didn't 'need' a drink. I never thought I could get back to that way of living. Here I am...

Some encouraging thoughts to sleep on. I opened up a bit to DH tonight. I feel small. The barstool dance is the least of my worries. Good night.

Oh matron (in my head I did the Kenneth Williams voice)
Are you ok? Do you want to say more? I'm not being nosy I just don't want to bark up the wrong tree. Whatever has gone on or been said the best thing you can do for YOURSELF is stay sober. Everything else will follow. Even the bad stuff is good. For example I realised that I hadn't treated people in my life as well as I should have done. Some are gone and will always have a low opinion of me. I've made peace with this as I'm not that person any more and I cannot change what has gone before.

Morning everyone. Thread was so busy last night!

Good for you yellow for getting through your wobble.

Teapot ....I just cannot imagine your pain and anger and sense of helplessness with your divorce. I hope so much that everything goes well, and you and your family are supported properly by the courts, by your legal team and justice does come. I am thinking of you.

Matron to you too. I hope you are okay. I know you must feel just awful (been there) but remember you are actively, PRO-actively taking steps to change your life, your habits. You are trying to deal with them, you are seeking support. You can do no more than that, and you are doing that so well. Are you okay? I agree with what dona says..the best thing you can do is stay sober, even if you want todrink your feelings away.

finances.... it is such a joy seeing the savings build! My friend who has committed to being sober for a year said to me in some wonder the other day ; 'I have money left over at the end of the month!!'. I am hoping to take my family to Lapland before Christmas, Matron. :) My Ds would be beside himself. I actually set up a savings account and said to DH I was going to put my wine savings in that account. When it came to the January amount his jaw dropped and he said; 'Do you really want to put all that in a separate account? I mean it is alot of money, we could use it!'. I reminded him that this is just the amount I was just pissing away!!!! (Literally!!).

I hope everyone has a better day today. I am heading to an AA meeting today. :) Really enjoying them. Lots of love and hugs to everyone. xxxxxx

matron I hope you slept well. Reflecting on ourselves is one of the really bloody hard bits of being dry, but as dona says, ultimately it is all good. It is so important to be kind to yourself tho, and recognise what you are doing for yourself.

I really rated the Allen Carr book, and the very similar one by Jason Vale, which I liked better of the two.

In the very early days I found it helps a lot to find other people - bloggers, here - who you can relate to.

And did I mention treats?! Posh drinks so you can still 'mark' the end of a hard day, or raise a glass and feel you are having something special. Baths & candles. I 'found' exercise, and activities that were not drinking related (surprisingly hard when your life has been hinged around booze, and all your friends and family look at you like an alien when you decline a drink - yoga, adult colouring etc).

300 days for me today: I am heading to work in the snow right now but will be treating myself at some point...

Keep on all

Can I join?
I think I want to start not drinking today - hmmm....that sounds wrong!

I drink the equivalent of 1 bottle of wine a night (drink spirits) and was wondering what I can expect?

How horrible am I going to feel approximately? And is there anything I can do for it?

I am tired, fat and miserable and I don't want to be those things any more. I don't even enjoy it much, it is just something I do to get through very challenging evenings.

Some of you have mentioned useful blogs. Could you post links?