DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Good morning everyone. I'd like to join. Just a few brief details, I'm nearly 49, work full time Monday to Friday in a fairly responsible profession. Normally I don't drink Monday to Thursday when I'm working but on a Friday I drink one bottle of red then on a Saturday and Sunday I'll drink 1 and a half bottles of red. DH has the other 1and half. The reason I'm here is that I regularly drink more than that at "special occasions" and then sometimes because there's a Y in the day.......at my nieces wedding a few weeks ago I fell backwards off my chair!! I regularly fall over when I'm pissed. On Christmas Day night/Boxing Day morning I fell down the stairs and I've really hurt my arm. I don't remember going to bed on Saturday night as I was so pissed and then on Monday morning I went to bed at 5am after polishing off 5 bottles with DH....but I drank about 3 of them. I have missed so many days cos of hangovers it's ridiculous. DH could easily cut down but it's almost like I can't get enough!! I always want more. Loads of shit has happened over the last 5 years that kind of led to it but barsically I have a lovely life with a DH and two grown up kids who love me to bits and are just fab.......and everyone has shit going on. Enough. I'm stopping, I've got to, I probably should have seriously injured myself by now, it's a miracle that I haven't. I've got loads more stories like this, all my family and DH's family know I'm a pisspot and I know I've really pissed some of them off at times. Thankfully I've accepted I've got a problem and I'm not even beating myself up about my past cos there is really no point. But no more.......enough. I'm going to check in regularly as I'm going to need your support. Sorry for going on but just wanted to get it down.

Please can I join in (again!). I spent most of 2015 either talking about stopping, wanting to stop or drinking loads. Quite frankly I am exhausted by the whole thing. I have tried to just drink at weekends, just when I'm out so no wine at home, only at home when we have guests and so it goes on. I am tired of it and trying to control it when I clearly can't. I think I'm going to have to stop. It makes me sad as I love a glass of wine but for every time I 'enjoy' it, there must be 10 times when I go over the top and am filled with regrets. Yesterday was such a day. 2 bottles of sparkling with a lovely roast dinner then hours of feeeling ill, no sleep and waking with a feeling of dread. My husband wants to cut down or maybe stop so Im going to start today. Any support would be appreciated. I think I have read about a sober app to count days - can anyone tell me the link for this or am I better not counting if this is a lifestyle change. Just off for a bacon sandwich in a bid to feel human!

Welcome Spinach, Likea & nomore! :) All of your shares sound very familiar & can I reassure you that this is probably the best decision you will ever make. That said the idea of stopping for good can be very daunting so although I'm at 830 days myself I don't say forever - cos that just provokes my inner rebel I'm not drinking today & have no plans to drink tomorrow (even though it's NYE). There are lots of us here who are all on the same journey with varying amounts of time under our belt so you're in great company You can access the I'm done drinking app here. Check in & shout for support whenever you need it & we will do our best to help

Good morning!

Hello Newbies, fellow newbie here too, only sober 28 days so far! Likeahurricane your story sounds so familiar to mine!

I decided I couldn't carry on like I was. I was putting away a min of a bottle of wine a night, not every night but certainly 5 out of 7. Because I didn't drink every day, or in the day, I sort of "got away with it" in my head. I'd tried to cut down before but couldn't do it, and when struck with the most terrible frightening crippling hangover (probably straightforward alcohol withdrawal) I decided I couldn't beat it alone and went to AA. I was utterly shitting myself, but everyone was so friendly and welcoming, and they Got It. I've only been 5 times but it's the right place for me now. I think without the discipline of going, I'd have convinced myself I could do this alone, and that it wasn't a problem anyway.
I didn't think AA was for 'people like me' but I was very wrong.

It's very early days but I've made the right decision. Best wishes, X X X

Thanks so much for the welcome Lucy and Marry. I think the fact that I think that I've got a problem with drink means that I definitely have got one Normally I'm up early and I love being up early and excercising before work (only half an hour of HIIT) I hate staying in bed until lunchtime with a hangover which has become the norm, especially on a Sunday..... I just now feel that I want more of the life I love than I do a drink, because I can't control myself with drink at weekends. I want be up early on NYD feeling fine and out walking on the fells....and I really want that more than I want a drink, cos I can't just have one. I can't even just have one bottle so I shall have none
I want my life back, I want to be free of it.....so as of 5 am Monday 27th December 2015 I am free!!

I think that's a good way of looking at it - if it's a problem then it's a problem. For me, one glass is too many and then the bottle isn't enough. At my first AA meeting I said "I'm not sure I'm in the right place" and explained that I can't just have one drink, and there was a rumble of "yep, you're in the right place!"
Are you considering AA?

Thanks for the welcomes. I'm feeling more motivated already, easy to say at 10.30 in the morning! Busy at work (here on a break!) so don't have time to think about a drink. Will try and carry positive thoughts beyond 5.30pm ..

Yep - all sounds very like my experience :) I've heard it said that it isn't how often your drink or how much you drink but how it makes you feel. And if it feels like a problem to you then it is! So that makes this day 3 for you - well done . My favourite recovery saying? Sobriety delivers everything alcohol promised

X-post Spinach You can do this - day 1 through 3 are the hardest so remember that thought at 5.30pm :)

Marry I'm not sure yet about AA....I don't particularly have any misgivings about AA itself at all, I know some people do but I think that anything is worth a try if it has a chance of helping you. I think I'm going to see how I feel in a week or two but believe me I will be straight there if I come even close to a relapse......you sound very much like me with the one glass, one bottle analogy. Lucy yes! I'm now day 3 (only just though, as it was 5am Monday) Thankyou for that.

Hi everyone. Just checking in. Welcome everyone new,so good to have you with us!

All stress here....MILin hospital. FIL at home with me....he is very confused and unaware of what is happening and cannot be left. DH coming home today from the north after arranging temporary residential care for our other sick relative.

But I am not drinking. :) I am hugely proud of that.

Good sober days everyoe. :)

Just checking in to say "hi". I decided to drink over Christmas and New Year and am pleased to report I haven't gone completely mad with it - just enjoyed it and got to bed at a reasonable time (rather than passing out drunk on the sofa). Am planning to be back on the wagon for a dry January and then see where I go from there.

Well done Cheesy that must be hugely stressful
Preces glad it was a damp affair rather than soaked Roll on Jan! :)

Thanks for the welcome Cheesy....this can't be an easy time for your family, it's like I've already said, we all have "stuff" going on don't we? The booze ain't going to solve it though.... So good on you and you have every right to feel very proud. Thank goodness your DH is on his way home, you need that support at times like these. Thank you for the new thread, I'm trying to catch up on a couple of the previous ones as there are some good links

hello I need to join in i think - I've absolutely caned it over xmas and i cant remember the last time i had a day without alcohol. I stopped smoking last year, so 2016 is the same for booze i think. I've put on a huge amount of weight, so stopping drinking alcohol is part of a general detoxy clean eating look after myself a bit better vibe.

Do you have a kind of top tips? like tonic water in a wine glass with a slice of lemon, a special glass to drink soft drinks, or do i just have to grit my teeth and get on with it?

hurricane that sounds very familiar to me. I'm glad i'm not alone in this, but i think it's going to be quite hard to stop, so i need the support.

Welcome Snapespeare :) Lots of top tips - keep the ritual change the substance - so nice glass with AF drink of choice, change up your routine so at trigger time you're doing something different. Watch out for HALT (being hungry, angry, lonely or tired) & if in doubt use the 15 minute rule How's that for starters?

Welcome everyone. Snape I'd also urge you to temporarily forget about weight loss and any worries about what you're eating. To start with it really helps to always allow yourself to eat or drink something else that feels treat-like when you get the urge to have some booze. IMO it is crucial to avoid any sense of deprivation - if you feel like you're white-knuckling it, it'll be a lot harder not to cave in. The food/weight can be tackled later when the wine witch has been kicked into touch.

My other tip is to sleep as much as you can and don't be alarmed if your sleep temporarily worsens - this is very normal. For the first 3-4 weeks I went to bed very very early and had lots of baths, lots of sober reading material, and really immersed myself in the act of stopping. I knew that I would need to embrace it and feel positive about what I was doing and treat it as the ultimate bit of self-care.

Thanks for responses. :-) I think the weight thing will probably sort itself out a bit as I'll be losing the booze-calories and, other than booze, I tend to eat reasonably healthily. I don't really like cake/chocolate and my heavy fat/carbon foods tend to go with wine (peanuts, crisps) so, I reason if no wine, then no crisps! :-)

I might start crocheting a new blanket, that helped when I stopped smoking in March, keep hands busy/brain occupied. I'll need to avoid watching trashy TV (wine and 'first dates' where they're all getting sozzled!) and go for a walk or something instead.

Ooh, I like that blog lucy, thanks for the link.

You're welcome & thank you :)

Can I join in?

Suffering awful hangover, can't remember putting the kids to bed or the last part of the evening.

I never drink Mon-Thurs but then always drink too much on a Friday, feel like shit every Saturday so continue to drink Saturday and Sunday evening to compensate. This Xmas I've been drinking every day for about 10 days culminating in last nights shameful performance.

I hate it, I hate feeling like this and I want it to stop. I can't have just one drink so I need to stop completely. I have to take control.

Will be so glad to see wretched day 1 come to an end. I feel terrible and have spent the day scoffing rubbish. What a waste of my prescious holidays. No more. Nice not to feel alone

Welcome cauliflower :) For all those new people who've said hello today and have got crushing hangovers can I make a suggestion? Write down how you are feeling right now & put it somewhere safe. Then when you are feeling better in a few days time & the voice in your head pipes up you weren't that bad, you can have a drink now you can re-read what you wrote & remind yourself. It is a really strong reminder of why you've made the decision today & will help you stick to your guns in the future . Eat as much crap as you like and go to bed early tonight nomore and then it'll be day two before you know it :)

Thanks Lucy. I've just forced some dinner down. Yes, good idea to write down how appalling I feel. It's the self loathing that's the worst, that I put the dcs at risk by being so drunk.

Yes yes to self loathing. That's by far my biggest motivator. I went to some dark places when hungover including feeling suicudal. The sense of relief that I don't have to feel that again, is wonderful.