DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Hey Glad the journal idea is a really good one!

The wobbles.... well, DS is being excluded from alot of things...parties etc..... I just feel sad because I can observe he is definitely the 'weird kid' of the class, and some of the kids make fun of his mannerisms behind his back. When he is excited he starts to hit himself and today he was trying to explain something to his teacher when we got to school and his classmates were giggling and copying him. He did not notice at all. I felt so sad, and it was really triggery. But DS is not going to be helped in any way by having a drunk, maudlin mother. So I need to get a bloody grip.

Anyway, my 'treat' tonight is a bit tragic..... I am going to knit and watch Real Housewives of New Jersey before cooking dinner. Seriously.....I need a proper hobby.

Not tragic at all, sounds bloody brilliant. The current pressures with DS will pass, I can understand why it's painful, but things don't stay the same do they? Things move on ( and there's new stuff to worry about)

my treat is to go to the spare room with my tablet for some peace and quiet and crochet and Amazon Prime! With a pot of tea and some cake

Hi everyone! I keep a detailed journal too glad invaluable for me. And yes cheesy I've been extremely wobbly all week. Watching your kids hurt hurts us much more than any pain to self iyswim. feel a lot stronger today though. 'Went' to an online Smart Recovery meeting last night and realised that I am fab at work, caring for kids, working on self etc but I don't have a lot of 'fun' in my life. Was off today so I made a point of reading (great book about an alcoholic mum by Amanda Prowse), shopping for nice things listening to music and eating biscuits. Felt nice. Did no housework (well not much) and did no work from home either. fonelle you had a lapse that's all. I did on Sat but I am still 40 days sober with 1 small lapse. keep going. You're human. And you DID have a reason. you were run down and had been feeling rotten so give yourself a wee cuddle and move on. Have a nice evening everyone.

Hello all!
font don't worry. We've all done this (or at least most of us have.
cheesy puts it so well. Its not from scratch. As I said the other day sometimes a lapse serves to remind us that we aren't missing out.
I'm sorry about your son cheesy I have a son who gets excluded (sounds similar to your son) its horrible to watch.
stay strong all of you! Sober treat for me tonight is The Good Wife and a bit of AJ later. Then I will have a slug of benylin substance problems ? moi?

I got through this evening dry by drinking lots of herbal teas, crochet, outlander and eating my body weight in a lot of cake. Not a great option but better than alcohol.

Morning lovelies :) Sorry been absent - sick DC's over half term bled into this week ...
font hope you're doing okay today? Onwards!

Morning Lucy . sorry about your dc :(. Did you escape the lurgy?
Not great here tbh. Yesterday's media coverage was pretty distressing. Hence struggling last night. Good job I have more sober tools this time round. One day at a time though.

Hi all,

Well yesterday was a 'lost' day. I could hardly do any work and the sheer angst of churning over what had happened the night before was hell.

But!

First of all it's made me realise more than ever what a complete waste of time alcohol is. I can live a far better, happier, healthier, more contented life without it and although I very much regret Wednesday I think it has probably done me a favour in so many ways. That final driving home, if it were needed, that I am so much better off without booze permanently.

Not only did I make a bit of a fool of myself, I also must have spend £60 or £70 quid as the rounds were a tenner each and I also bought food. I lost a day's work on the day and another day yesterday feeling so awful. I also don't feel 100% this morning, so I doubt I'm going to be that productive workwise today and will end up working all weekend to catch up.

For what? A few glasses of wine?

Absolute madness.

I have always had the ability to go long periods of time without drinking and I think it lulls me into a false sense of security. I live an alcohol free life for months on end and the dangers of alcohol recede. But my problem has always been being unable to stop once I start. One glass of wine always turns into several. I'm sure that's the same for many of you. With me there's no craving to drink, and I don't miss it when I don't drink ... it's just that as soon as I do, I invariably end up getting pissed.

Thanks for all your replies and for the mere existence of this thread, which really helped me get through a hellish day. I'm still not great (remnants of last week's virus plus the lingering effects of my midweek winefest) but I have at least got up and done a bit of housework and am now sitting at my computer ready to attempt to do some paid work today.

Thanks everyone again ... and good luck to everyone who is on this 'journey'. Hate that word but can't think of anything else.

font you have just described me. If I don't drink I don't crave but once I start .... I can't stop.
I think a lot of us are like that.
Be kind to yourself xxx

Glad no didn't escape and had to come home from work early myself on Thursday! Plus they were off sick from school on Monday too and my DS is still trying to shake it off :(
Sorry to sound like I've been living under a rock but yesterday's media coverage??
Font me too ...

Dry. Not happy but dry . off to bed now.

Hi. I woukd like to join you all. I have managed to be wine free since August. It was working well the move to spirits until this week. Old habits resurfaced. Got blind drunk with friends and was loud and lairy. Then work night where i drank huge quantities of vodka tonic. The overwhelming paranoia that it was a career destroying night out is horrendous. Blacked out the journey home and lord knows what else. Shot mouth off about allsorts.

The thing with me is i can go long periods without drinking with ease. I can even have periods of drinking in control. Then suddenly without warning a switch goes off and i just drink to a destructive level. Hate myself, panic im going to lose everything. Then am in check again for anot5ger 3-6 months when the cycle continues. My dh (is understandably) sick if it and has heard it all before. So need to moan elsewhere.

Incidentally that should read that im now more committed than ever to giving up completely. It is difficult though as my family and friends are big drinkers and partiers. But they never get to the level i do. I love a celebration and things seem a little duller if there isnt a drink involved. But i know this is just brainwashing. I see it clearly the day after.

Welcome Bringonsummer :) That all sounds very familiar but living alcohol free can be done and without feeling like life has become dullsville. Jeez I'd go back to drinking if that was the case!! Day 890 tomorrow and there is no way I'd go back to it now so stay in today and it will get easier

Thanks lucy. For the next week avoidance will be super easy. It always is after a catestrophic 2 nights. I will re-read the easyway thing which got me to give up wine. In fact the giving up wine was super easy and i really loved drinking it!

890 days is brilliant! I just need to work out how to re-adjust.

The re-adjustment is a gradual slow day by day process. On day 1 it was not possible for me to see how I would feel on day 890 but I trusted those who had gone before me and knew I didn't want how it had become. One day at a time it gets easier and better :)

Bringonsummer

I know exactly how you feel. My mid-week session was also a business meeting. Maybe not career-ending (I'm self-employed) but certainly didn't make a very good impression. The only thing is the person I met drank the same amount as me and had already had a drink before I arrived, so clearly also has an issue. We've been in contact since and it's all very 'business as usual' but I really don't know what indiscreet things I might have said.

I also tend to get very loud and gobby when I've had a few and I also think I'm some sort of femme fatale, which is absolutely pathetic. I've got into more scrapes with men being pissed. I am happily single and have no interest in having a relationship with anyone. I never so much as look at a bloke but when I've had a few I turn into Veronica the Vamp. Cringe!

Like you, I can go a long time without drinking - months on end and I don't miss it at all. But then things like last week happen and I have no idea why. It's almost like I have this self-sabotage button that I press every now and then, just for the hell of it.

Bloody booze!

You are right lucy and i will get there. I know it sounds silly but i sort of woukd like to end my drinking days on a high, rather than a low. With the wine i had a really nice meal out enjoyedwine and wasnt drunk. Then woke in the morning and bid it farewell. Sounds ridiculous i know!

font thanks for your tale. All goes to making me feel better i am not alone. I work with all men. So i have a feeling they think it's quite funny when im drunk. Ive emailed boss and a few others and yhey seem fine. I think/hopd its just paranoia. And i kniw what you mean with the femme fatale! Eurgh the cringing memories.

The problem is i am quite quiet and restrained in real life. A few drinks in i become a monster! Although i think i am generally a fun drunk (at least to the point others laugh at me) .

Hello can I join?

I've been on the dry Jan thread and moderation Feb thread .

Basically I can't moderate. I done 5 weeks dry then attempted to moderate and gradually over the past 2 weeks the frequency and amount of alcohol has steadily risen ending in a shocking performance last night involving a fight with a stranger, lewd behaviour (too ashamed to describe).

Today I am still drunk feel physically sick, shaky, headache. But the mental symptoms are so much worse. I feel so ashamed and guilty. The snapshots of last night are truly awful.

I don't know where to begin to get this sorted. The thought of never drinking again just seems impossible.

I'm not sure your wish would have been possible for me Bring and I'm not sure I'd have wanted it that way tbh. If I'd looked to end on a high I'd have thought why bother stopping and it would just reinforce in my mind the decision resulting in a loss (which it isn't). Those rose-tinted drinking experiences were few and far between for me!! And the low was important as it re-inforced the decision and gave me memories to review if I ever start to doubt the decision although another thread member said a while back that it is important not to review the decision and I thought that good advice and still do. We're all different and our paths to stopping are different but as long as you are happy with where you are then it's all good :)

Hi bring you are in the right place here!
matron ride today out. Your night sounds terrible but you will feel one hundred times better tomorrow once the hangover stops.
Never drinking again? I certainly haven't said I'm never drinking again. If I said that I'd feel it was impossible too. However I am choosing not to drink today and have no plans to do so in the near future. Because I can't moderate either.
What is your current drinking pattern? Are you drinking at home? I was a daily drinker for over a decade and I was really suffering at the time I decided enough was enough.

Matron

Bless you sweetheart, I've been where you are now and I'm sure so have plenty of others.

I know exactly what you mean about the 'snapshots' ... and the way they come back slowly. Little glimpses of things you remember .. and then the blanks. So you stew and worry over what you might have said and done in the parts you don't remember.

All you can do is take care of yourself today - lots of fluids, a long soak in a bath (that always makes me feel better), and just nurse yourself through it.

I agree about the 'never drinking again' and how daunting it seems but all you can do is say 'today I won't have a drink' and those days soon add up.

x-post Matron welcome :)

Thank you. Oh I do feel sorry for myself.

Before Christmas I was drinking every day from 6pm until bed. Lots of wine and spirits. I mix with a boozy crowd and my family drink.

I am mortified that local people will have seen me and recognise me (local pub last night). It makes me feel like a bottle of wine to hide the embarrassment.

I have periods in my life when I am drinking more than others but generally it's a lot.

My DH has been so kind today.

I do have form for extreme drunken behaviour. Have woke up in different parts of the country from chasing the party and even a different country. This has changed now I am married so the locals get to see me drunk. Oh joy.

I felt so much better in dry January. I feel ill again.