DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

I identify with the behaviour of lots of the pp. I too am a femme fatale but in a mockney gangster style (IRL I'm an unremarkable middle class middle aged woman, senior in a successful career who is well liked and kind).

Why I pretend I'm a cockney petty criminal who is desirable to all men when drunk who knows! WTAF is that about?!

Can I join too please? Am another lurking refugee penguin from the Dry Jan thread...hi Matron...

Have been trying to get in control of my drinking for a long time...even just a couple of glasses makes me feel terribly ill now and destroys my ability to sleep and so I lose the next day. I KNOW this and yet I've been sliding a bit since a successful Dry Jan. And last night, for the first time, I hid the wine I was drinking from DP. It wasn't that much but I hid it. And had no sleep and a crap day today. Enough is enough. Again!!

Hi Jojo

It's the all or nothing isn't it. I've got myself in a right pickle this weekend. Dry Jan was such a safe time for me. It feels a very different step to post on this thread as I am in effect admitting to myself that my drinking is not normal and that I can't moderate.

I am still mortified at my antics.

Nice to start day 1 with you Jojo

And with you matron

I'm sure I would be having the same sort of antics if I actually went out!! I have had many, many lairy nights in the past which I cringe to remember. The memories will fade!! Are you feeling physically better now?

Admitting that we can't moderate is positive I think. We now have to pick ourselves up and get back on the dry tracks with some strategies and plans to help...I am listening to some stop binge drinking hypnosis tracks which help a bit and I know I need to plan my weekends around not drinking and have other 'rewards' in place. Have you any thoughts on how you can proceed? Maybe not tonight,,,you probably need a good nights sleep first!! x

Also, I have found this blog to be an inspiration recently...mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.co.uk

It's a great read with a lot of great advice.

Thank you I will take a look.

Feeling physically much better but however much I am reassured by my friends that the fight was self defence (man grabbed my arse after I done a dance on a bar stool which resulted in a tussle) I know I would have handelled it all much better sober.

I had very high heeled boots on, how I did not break a bone falling off the stool I will never know!!

So I generally made an arse of myself. I've done worse but sadly last night is already in the flash back archive stored up for a future date to give myself a flogging.

I don't drink secretly as I'm surrounded by big drinkers so there is no need to.

I do need some plans for the foreseeable future until I get back into my dry stride.

Sorry to fill up the thread with my self indulgent posts. It's a comfort to share with people who understand.

Welcome jojomo :) Matron you're not filling up the thread with self-indulgent posts - we've all shared our stories as that's where we start from

Welcome jojomo and Matron please keep on posting - you are not filling up the thread and we all understand what you are saying and will help :)

Day 75 here for me :) :) and to celebrate, today I ate vast quantities of cake. Not quite sure why, as I don't actually like sweet things? Comfort? I have also turned the spare bedroom into my own personal hideyhole - it now has a tiny kettle, nice herbal teas, comfy cushions, candles and essentials oils in a hand made (by me on a course !) pottery burner. It feels like I am in a B and B or a hotel room when I go in there (I love staying in them, and always turn them into a "nest" when I do! ) I am sleeping very badly at the moment with all the stress so am in there so as not to disturb DH with my insomnia. But I have to admit, it does feel nice to have a tiny room of my own to hide in :)

Actually, that has made me wonder about offering it as a B and B room - it is really nice here and I would stay in it if it were on offer :)

gladi I would happily pay to hide in your room for a year or two to avoid having to bump into any local people ever again.

Thanks for the welcome gladi and lucy Can I ask a question - do the demons and flash backs go eventually? Dry Jan was an uncomfortable emotional experience for me. I was a bit anti DH and he is probably the only sensible take it or leave it drinker in my life.

Matron maybe it seems worse to you than to everyone else? Not minimizing your pain, but sometimes we do think stuff is much worse, than it actually is? Hugs, anyway xxx
Regarding the flash backs well they did settle down for me but it took a few weeks - well 6 weeks or so to really settle down. I am having flashback dreams at the moment but that is PTSD stuff and not due to drink, more to do with a stressful situation I am involved with which is triggering abusive stuff from my teens again.

gladi that sounds awful for you. Thank goodness you've had the sense to stop drinking. PTSD and alcohol flashbacks combined would be horrific. I hope it passes for you and you find some peace.

I've been a prat but you are quite right nobody has blinked an eye. In fact it was perceived as a great night for all.

Night all - I'm going to try and shut my brain on the wobbles and get some sleep.

Matron yes, alcohol never made a bad situation any better, despite the hype!

night night xxx

And YY to being anti DH while getting off alcohol :( - mine is also the most take it or leave it drinker I know, and is SO supportive of me over the last 30 years :) but he has taken some horrible and unnecessary shit from me as I detoxed from alcohol :( I blame the Wine Witch :( he is a keeper, is all I can say :)

Hi everyone; delurking here to join if that's ok Partly to share experiences of sobriety - would you believe I don't know a single dry person irl? And partly to offer support to newcomers. I was on last year's dry Jan thread. Returned to my old binge drinking ways pretty quickly and had my last drink in May last year, after a horrendous night - I can sympathise so with pp re the local, and fears of humiliation.

Anyhow here I am on day 295

It has not always been easy but I feel comfortable as a non drinker now, and quite enjoy shocking people when I say I don't drink - how ironic that that should be the shocker!!!

Anyway, I have found lurking on this thread such a support - for me I found I lived breathed and slept sobriety literature - blogs, books, fiction and non fiction - for much of the first 3-4 months. I still read mummywasasecretdrinker and this thread almost every day.

I am so much happier, calmer and healthier - running (in summer!!) and yoga (in winter) have been my new addictions, and I'm ok with that!

So, best get back to bed for another wonderful sober nights sleep - never waking up full of shame, regret and fear has to be the best prize of all.

Glad your boutique hotel room sounds lovely
Welcome FuzzyWhiteLegs and go you on 295 days!!

Matron the demons and flashbacks do settle as Glad said. A couple of months for the hypersensitivity and anxiety to fade. I was at a party last night and someone said to me about the self-loathing after drinking and then added - but of course you don't have that anymore. And in my head I thought 'nope, thank f*ck'
Happy sober Sunday all!

Morning all and thankyou for the welcome. I have my parents in law here today so won't be around much - I think their impending visit was why I 'treated' myself to some wine on Friday. I find house guests quite stressful but any excuse would have done I guess! We'll be going out for lunch but I won't be drinking - am feeling positive today which is lovely.

Morning everyone. Welcome everyone new and lurking. :)

Morning. Well I made it through the hangover. So far a line of jeering locals has not appeared at my door to shame me so I guess I need to get a grip on that and move on (easier said than done, I've got shame flashes from years ago that I like to keep in my back pocket for hungover days).

So far I've had 2 offers of drinking today (one of them back to the same pub?!). I've declined.

I'm still fragile and will try to climb out of my pity party today.

fuzzywhitelegs that's inspiring for me. Feeling quite low on day 43. Nice to know it'll get better.
off to read mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.co.uk thanks for the link peeps.

So far a line of jeering locals has not appeared at my door to shame me so I guess I need to get a grip on that and move on

I know exactly what you mean. I had another conversation with the person I was with on Wednesday and no reference to anything I'd said or done - just business as usual and no awkwardness, so I too need to just chalk it up to experience (albeit a bad one) and move on.

So I'm now officially on day 4 alcohol free with a new found determination to stay that way!

matron font im glad the results of your nights out dont appear to have been as bad as you expected. I have to hold out til tomorrow when i will finally be back in work to face the music. Am panic stricken. But have emailed a couple of people and they seem fine with me (including my boss) and in all honesty none if them could have been sober? 3 pm start and sambuca shots being sent around must mean that everyone was drunk? I even had the sense to spit my sambucas back into another glass (that has to be a good sign?). 3 days on still full of self pity

Yellowfloss day 43 is a triumph! Well done. Sorry it's a tough one for you. Get through this one and tomorrow might be a lovely one?

Bringon everyone was either pissed or ex-drunks so wont be judging you. I've turned a corner into arrogance today. Almost willing someone to dare question my behaviour Friday as its all just a laugh isn't it?

I have the self awareness to know that I'm trying to make good with my conscience so that I can have a drink today.

In some ways the feeling better is worse than the hangover.

Drink, drunk, repent, repeat.

Bringon tomorrow will pass let us know how you get on. Most of the damage I do when drunk is to myself.

Matron I like that alot - 'drink, drunk, repent, repeat' yep sums it up perfectly!

Drink, drunk, repent, repeat.

Blimey, yes. I realised I was getting about one day in 4 where I felt OK - and guess what, that's when I started over again!

yellowfloss glad it helps. I got through in no small part thanks to this thread, and those before (even tho the wonderful women had no idea). It's hard learning to deal with stuff - life - completely sober. But escaping into a bottle helps nothing in the long run. Learning to be kind to yourself is really key, I think.