Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

Thanks again. I am a twit!

molly please stop apologising!! I understand that the thought of counselling is scary but it can be such a relieving process to go through. There will be plenty about where we live - I know one locally that I'm happy to recommend but she's not based where you live. PM me if you'd like her details. Everything crossed for your daughter

Love a bit of serendipity! molly was reading this blog post from Kirsten Johnson (as in actress from Third Rock from the Sun) today and the words just leapt off the page "Really good therapy, to me, is really just a conversation about yourself with someone wiser than you, who's completely honest with you. Someone you feel safe enough to share exactly how fucked up you really are, knowing they wont judge you or punish you." Couldn't have put it better myself and if you want to read the rest of her blog post you can find it here

Don't be sorry Molly and don't go, if you are anything like me I don't really have anyone to talk apart from my dh about this kind of stuff and as I said even tho I don't comment as much I feel so much better knowing I can come on hear and be totally honest if need be. In terms of counselling I can only say I tried it once when I was in my early 20's and I found it very helpful :)

Saw your post about giving up sugar btw lucy, I have a bad cold so am gonna abandon plans today but gonna take up this challenge when feeling a little less sorry for myself!

Hey all, reading but not really posting much. I echo 'Don't go molly'. :) The whole point of this thread (and why I love it) is because we support each other through the tough times, the good times, and the times when we need to work through things. That's what we are here for. ;) xxxxxxx

Sunny nurturing your cold is more important than giving up sugar any day My addict brain is having a field day trying to find a way to eat sugar today. Hahaha it really makes me laugh to watch myself try and shoot myself in the foot Jeez talk about my own worst enemy!

Well my run without booze has ended. Had a couple of little beers when out for valentines meal with my wife on Saterday night, then a bottle of beer that's been hiding away in the garage on Monday. Can't really say I enjoyed drinking them, though it was nice to have a beer in a pub before the meal. That said, I might've just enjoyed it because it was our first time out together for months! Not felt the need to buy anymore since and I'm going to have to watch myself for a few weeks I think just so I don't slip back into a habit. So, not sure how I'm feeling about it really, still positive I think!

A very quick one to echo what Chips had said - Molly, this thread is not just for when we are feeling chipper. Please don't go.

I agree molly - in fact I'd say the opposite; this thread is meant to be for support which means it's precisely for those bits of life that are trying/difficult/f*king impossible to handle. It would be a very dull thread indeed if we all posted about how fine and dandy we all were

I had another difficult night out last night - drove into Soho this time Lucy... stressful but BETTER - didn't cause so much angst but once again was being encouraged to drink by someone there. The other person there happened to be my divorce lawyer and he was talking about how we simply MUST go out and celebrate once everything's resolved, and how "you have to have at least ONE drink, surely?!". FFS.

I had a couple of AF beers in the bar, can't believe how much I like them, so thanks to this thread for recommending them. I may even try some AF red wine...

Teapot Gah - FFS indeed! AF beers are good and the AF red wine I would recommend you'll pick up in Waitrose here but they have an improving selection of white and rose too!

FFS indeed, feeling ill and grumpy tonight, was it on here I read about feeling poorly and that triggering a fuck it moment?? Well then that's me tonight, am gonna have a bath and early night before I do something I regret! On a positive note, I have tried that red, warmed it up and put some mulled wine syrup in, yummy!

We don't have waitrose here or aldi. Sounds perfect for an ill night Sunny

Definitely don't go, molly.
Sorry to hear you had to put up with FFS enticements to drink, Teapot! So frustrating.
Well I cracked and had 2 glasses of wine the other night after my uncle's funeral. I am not doing to well on AF really ???? the one thing I am proud of though is that I haven't got hammered. Previously I would have used both wedding and funeral as an excuse to get shitfaced and would have drunk a bottle of wine, had a cry then some "medicinal brandy" and felt shocking and low the next day. So I feel like I am progressing and am more self aware but not thre yet.

Teapot not surprised you had a FFS moment!
I like the Torres AF red wine - must get some more from Waitrose!

Day 47 for me and after a few blips at start of Feb am now back in the Dry groove -no desire to drink. I can't do moderation and I feel so much better for being Dry

Teapot - that's truly rubbish. Lawyers are notorious boozehounds (she says having been both) so this person clearly can't imagine a way of celebrating that doesn't involve alcohol. V sad.

broken you can get the Torres at Asda I believe - and at a greatly reduced price to Waitrose!
somethingslummy baby steps and drinking less is a good start :)
glad congrats on day 47 and happy to hear you're back in the Dry groove - love that expression!

Hey everyone.

Just passed 10 months yay yay yay!

Never in a million years did I think I'd be able to write that. And just paid for a week in Northumberland at Easter with the drinking money I've been saving every week. Can't believe it was last Easter when I finally kicked the drink out the door. No more hangovers. No more memory blanks. No more losing a whole day in grumpy angry fog to pay for a couple of hours of so called relaxation the night before. Without a doubt the best decision I have ever made.

Molly Don't go, don't gooooooooooooooooo......we're begging yooouuuuu to stay!
This thread is a lifeline don't cut it. And we'd miss you!

Teapot you really are getting ambushed at the moment aren't you? Stay strong. It's the conditioning. Both those friends are in careers where high pressure win or lose situations probably routinely result in champagne (Snarky Evil Bitch remember) soaked celebrations or commiserations. They just can't see any other way.

I think it's very interesting how smart intellectual personality types are often the blindest to the brainwashing. Alcohol is everywhere in London esp, and your media friend probably praises himself on his powers of persuasion, ditto the lawyer - but they can't see how they're trying to do it to you, if you see what I mean.

When I was a couple of months in I had a few tricky lunch dates in London with old uni friends and I was acutely aware of everyone sitting at cafe tables, happily quaffing away,and I felt quite miserable. It passed and now I can do those dates v happily, give yourself some time. And remember you really can't see what's truly going on in other people's lives.

Lucy well done on the sugar! I'm cutting out chocolate but can't quite go the whole sugar hog! In Aus it's crazy right now, the whole sugar backlash is massive.

Hi Broken and Corn hope you're holding up.

Well done everyone else and lapsers stay with us - aiming for moderation is the path to hell in my experience. Stay free x

Arse! wrote a really long post and it's gone

Just wanted to say thank you for all being so nice. The not wanting to be a nuisance and draw attention to myself is a legacy from the mother of course! I still feel a bit worried and stressed about various things but am meditating (trying to!) and being pragmatic - what is done can't be undone and what lies in the future is a mystery to us all...(channels inner Karen carpenter)

rb - hope you are OK. A slip is a slip, hopefully you'll be back on the wagon .

Sydney - woo hoo!!!!! 10 months is fabulous. And enjoy that holiday.

Dd had her scan - all seemed OK from what I can gather - they will give her the results next week, so I am assuming nothing terrible was spotted.

Bright, lovely day today. dd2 has had a friend sleeping over and the friends parents are taking them both out for the day so I can potter and run and read and suchlike!

Have a great weekend everyone.

For anyone who needs it today, the serenity prayer. The god bit is optional. And to be honest I've found it helps even if you yell it or spit it out through gritted teeth...

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Ironically I first mumbled this desperately to myself to get through the loss of my first baby at 6 months pg, no idea it was the AA prayer. It helped then and it helps now.

Glad you're still with us Molly and pleased your daughter's scan sounded ok. Have a great day.

Morning all. molly - lovely post; glad you see your thread-wobble for what it is - ie. a legacy from your mother. V reassuring re. the scan; fingers crossed for those results. :)

sydney - what a lovely post from you too - 10 months yay! I love the serenity prayer so thank you for its reminder. Particularly apt this morning as I have yet again been let down by the DCs dad who was meant to have them this weekend. We sent through a legal letter yesterday so 5 mins before I set off for his, he tells me that now he has to spend the weekend working on that rather than seeing his DC. So a good reminder that I CANNOT CHANGE this man's pathetic behaviour; all I can do is now - at very short notice - try to make sure that we all have a good weekend! Good job I'd made no plans of my own FFS

PS sydney - you're right re. the pernicious hold alcohol has over everyone in terms of thinking that we MUST have it to relax etc. Although I try to remind myself that I was like that too. Isn't it funny how before stopping drinking, you kind of think that people who don't drink must be in a state of continual uptight-ness, whereas in fact the opposite is the case? I remember as part of my Allen Carr seminars, both for smoking and the booze, you go through the thought process re people who have never smoked/drunk alcohol. Do they look stressed? Like all they need right now is a fag/drink/whatever to calm them down? No, they're just free of the whole f*cking merry go round of addiction.

Morning all! Feeling very TSP (twatty sober polyanna for those who haven't lurked on the Dry January thread ) Been for a run and the sunshine and snowdrops are out in force. Booutiful.
Sydney Go you on 10 months!! Hope you have lovely treat lined up Sugar thing is taking it's toll and am grumpy mare again but this too shall pass. Would love to hear more about the sugar backlash in Oz - please share more :) Serenity prayer - love it for anything

What a pita your ex is Teapot. True, I often now think that I can't change other people's actions, only my reaction to them. Seems to work the majority of the time in keeping me calm . Hope you have a lovely weekend with your dc.

Fantastic ten months Sydney!! It's amazing how much money you save isn't it? Sounds like a lovely little treat around about your year mark.

Pleased you've decided to stick around molly, hope the scan comes back ok.

I'm exactly the same gladistopped. Moderation takes so much effort and only achievable for a short time before I binge/start drinking heavily again. It's exhausting battling the drinking thoughts in my head, much much easier to stop.

Not much going on here. Keep having drinking dreams which is weird, woke up this morning thinking it was Sunday as I had been on the piss (in my dreams) on a Saturday night. Disorientating but feel like I've gained a day

Morning all, not much to report here, just catching up on everyone's news, had an ok weekend, watched my dh quaff most of a bottle of red on Friday night, first time he has done (been allowed) to do this in front of me since I stopped and it was actually ok! I was worried as thought this would be a real trigger, it's what we did and then some! I even poured him a glass (had a quick sniff, v strong) and nothing, nada, zip! I was pretty happy about that....had a drink dream last night, was holding an AA meeting in my house, very bizarre! Sending out hugs and good vibes for anyone struggling. Have a great Sunday everyone :)

Hello everyone! I haven't been around for a bit, just been overwhelmed with work and uni but all going well.

Last time I posted I was going out to lunch with my "hardened drinker pals."

Well, it was very interesting. Three of the six drank professionally as usual, I drank Becks Blue, fifth woman was driving. Sixth girl, who wasn't driving and always drinks, decided not to drink either. So it was an even split of half of us drinking and half not. It really made me feel far less awkward (and I certainly noticed the difference when we roughly split the bill!) I am sure sixth girl would have drunk if I had. Peer pressure really is a big issue.

I still cannot quite believe how much I do not miss drinking. So many times I told myself I couldn't do it and it would be "too hard" but after a while it just feels so normal.

I am going to be working abroad for a week soon and the culture for these things is very work hard/play hard drink, drink, drink but I am not fearful. I will be fine

I got really wound up reading a thread a while back from a woman who couldn't see the point in going out with her friends because her DH was going to work first thing and didn't see why she wanted DC to go to GPS overnight. Her whole focus was on on getting so drunk that she would be unable to look after her children the next day. Loads of people piling in saying this was perfectly normal and acceptable!!!!

Thanks sydney for the Serenity Prayer. A timely reminder as always.

I will lurk and catch up with everyones news now.

Has everyone seen this thread? I think this woman really needs help.