Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

littleleftie morning and well done on the night out success! Have put a comment on the thread you highlighted too :)

Me too . I always want to just go to people like that lovely lady and say look at me!!! I was you, my husband and children were despairing, I loathed myself, and here I am today (OK, still a bit fucked up but you know, getting there sober ). I hope she gives us a go!

Me too . I always want to just go to people like that lovely lady and say look at me!!! I was you, my husband and children were despairing, I loathed myself, and here I am today (OK, still a bit fucked up but you know, getting there sober ). I hope she gives us a go!

1 month sober today, happy anniversary to me! Never EVER thought I could do it the way I have, am trying to break down the associations with alcohol which have been my chains that have bound me to alcohol. Doing okay though

Congrats chocolate on your one month sober birthday. Nice treat planned?

Just finished tiding up a whirlwind of toys and am now chilling which is treat enough! Treated myself to some beauty products today as I am becoming re interested in my appearance, have even lost a stone as a bonus on the side 2 bottles of wine was becoming almost normal in a day which was a lot of calories and toxins for my poor body to deal with, let alone the crap hangover food I ate often aswell!

Wow 1 stone in 1 month is amazing! Your liver will be loving you too :)

Hurrah, well done chocolate one stone lost on top of one month booze free is fantastic!

Yes congrats choc - that's such good going in your first month to actually lose weight! One month sober - fab stuff :)

Lucy - how's the sugar free thing going?

sydney - I was struck by what you said in a previous post about how, for the sake of a couple of hours of fun/relaxation/whatever we associate that we 'gain' by drinking... we can lose a whole 24 hours - or more - by way of hungover retribution. When you lay it out like that it's clear what a thieving git alcohol is , and how much we must think that we need that prop to relax that we are prepared to give so much away to it by way of payback.

Today, I am very grateful that despite having to spend an unexpected two extra days with my DC at the tail end of half term, that I was present enough to make the most of it. I did not a) feel sorry for myself and think that I therefore deserved to sink vast quantities of wine and consequently b) find myself grumpy, tired, and unable to make the most of it. One of my daughters cried a bit yesterday afternoon saying she had had such a lovely half term spending time with me.

That is amazing chocolate. Shows how many empty calories in alcohol!

Aw teapot, I had a bit of that last night - dd2 and I were snuggled up in my bed (as we do every night before she goes off to her own bed) and I said 'when will you stop snuggling with me because I do enjoy it' She replied 'well, probably when I'm ten (she's nine) but you know I love you so much I may just do it forever'

That's just too cute the both of you. Also had a lovely day with dd on Saturday. Would gladly swop her for a packet of biscuits the last two days, terrible twos grr, but know once she's asleep looking like a perfect little angel I'll get all mushy inside

I think that's what it's all about Teapot, I'm so thankful now I'm present in their lives. It may not perfect and they fight and I shout but I'm no longer fuzzy and wishing the day away from a hangover and/or counting down the hours until I feel it's a respectable time to start drinking as they've been putting my head away all day. Or making plans with them to do something the next day and not being able to follow through on promises as I'm hungover.

Had a very long think last night about my feelings of frustration and being stuck and realised I haven't helped myself at all, in fact often I've been very self destructive. It's all a bit 'poor me', good excuse to drink when in actual fact it's partly by my own design. I watch dm sometimes and she is so negative, especially when drinking. Nothing ever seems to make her happy and suggestions to change things are met with an obstacle about why she can't do it. I recognise that in myself and I don't like it.

So time to give myself a kick up the ass and first things first, learn to drive.. like twenty years after everyone else

Hey broken having little ones is tough no doubt! Mine are 1&3, and I too longed for a drink asap every day! I totally relate to the "poor me" too. So very negative at times. Good luck with driving, it's liberating!

Teapot I haven't killed anyone yet - but at Friday tea-time it was touch and go Getting easier although I found myself craving MaccyD's at lunchtime today
So happy to hear of all these lovely 'present' parenting moments Half-term was mostly okay considering we were detoxing from sugar!
broken I'm prone to that negativity loop observed in parents myself as well as the old 'scarcity' mentality so good for you for challenging it. Driving lessons - how exciting! :)

Evening all It was very very hard over the weekend for me. Really really wanted to drink. Had a glass of wine and wanted to just keep on drinking many more, but stopped at one. Really wish I hadn't had any though

Will I ever be able to just have one and not crave a whole bottle?

Don't be too hard on yourself though broken - we're all works in progress and the one thing I'm realising since stopping drinking is that it doesn't help me to get any better by beating myself up about why I do the things I do. Learning to drive though - great idea!

Lucy - MaccyD's you say? Don't tempt me.

glad - you're doing really well. Just get straight back into it, don't be too hard on yourself but try to learn from each blip like that. I had a time shortly before stopping when I had one glass of wine - the almost-famed "why can't I just have one glass and be happy?" moment as we had gone to a pub for lunch mid-week, I was driving and therefore could only have one. As I was ordering it I was thinking that I shouldn't, as I had some legal papers to work on that evening and really needed to concentrate. But I somehow couldn't not have my one 'legal' drink. So I had it. I didn't really enjoy it, and yes it left me wanting more. And then about an hour later I was catastrophically tired and just felt SHIT for the whole rest of the day. Not drunk, not tipsy, just TIRED and pointlessly so. It really left me wondering what was the fecking point when one glass didn't do anything for me and in fact just physically left me wanting more and then tired and crap?

Not sure if I have much of interest to say here except that in that moment, I kind of realised that alcohol really didn't do anything for me anymore. If I had one glass, I wanted more and felt unsatisfied. If I had two glasses, I'd be likely to have three, four, five, and then would lose the next day to a hangover. There really is no point in having that "Just one drink". The other crucial aspect I had to sit and ruminate over was whether I could change that. And I just don't think I can. I think I physically move my hand to my mouth too often, I just have an appetite for drinking it that I think I would have to spend every second, ninja-like, monitoring whether it had been long enough since my last sip, in order to keep the intake moderate.

It really is just so much easier not to drink at all!

molly that is hugely cute. :)

Feel bad complaining about just the one pre-schooler now chocolate How you manage with two I don't know!

McDs for me is one of things that sound nice in theory but not-so-nice when it's put in front of you and you feel minging after. Not that I had one on Saturday, oh no Are you suffering much from the sugar detox Lucy? I found myself majorly jittery and headachy trying to stop before. Change exciting for bloody terrifying re driving lessons. I'll be doing the whole 'you are a strong woman, you've given birth ffs, this is nothing' talk to myself before climbing into a car

Count it as a little blip gladistopped and remember next time you want one how you felt at the time and the next day. Honestly I don't think I will ever be a person who can go back to moderate drinking and not crave the whole bottle and the bottle after that after a glass.

I did read somewhere, Dying for a Drink I believe, that a tiny percentage can go back to moderation after a period of abstinence dependent on some factors like gender (woman), problem drinking less than a year, no physical addiction to alcohol and others that have escaped me. Basically he did point out though that it was a very small percentage and was it worth trying it out when the stakes are high?

Not being too hard on myself Teapot, I respond better to tough love I know ultimately a lot of it is down to self-esteem problems that I self sabotage so I'm being easy on myself there. I can't change who I was and what I've done so I'm not going to beat myself up about it but I need to move forward. I have so much to be grateful for and although there's a lot about my situation that I can't change now, make the best of what I've got and be appreciative of it. Be more positive maaann

Thank you for the lovely answers You are all so supportive and, well, just plain nice in here I must admit I was not expecting that, after reading far too many AIBU threads over the years But in here you are all so lovely!

Yes Teapot and broken I feel so much better when I don't drink - I look better, feel better, sleep better, work better etc etc - so why is it such a pull?

Oh, yes, that would be the whole addictive thing going on I guess. It was much easier to give up smoking, tbh!

broken that is fascinating re. factors which may enable someone to return to moderate drinking. Sounds a bit like an elusive formula to me, but I do find it v interesting that it can be broken down like that - will look up that book.

glad - something that really helps me when I feel tempted is to use the 'play the tape to the end'. What does it mean to have that first drink? What will happen next? How will I feel afterwards? Glad you're enjoying being on the thread :)

Also glad - don't feel bad that you feel the 'pull' to drink - it's hard to be different, and let's face it - in this society you are definitely made to feel as though you are going against the grain... even that there's 'something wrong with you' if you decide you don't want to drink. See my previous recent posts with people whining on about why can't I "just have one" etc etc etc!

God I avoid AIBU like the plague glad, it's chaos in there and not a nice representation of MN a lot of the time. Easier to give up smoking perhaps as you are seen as a bit of a social outcast smoking nowadays, the opposite is true of drinking. It's all well done, good on ya when you stub out the ciggies but think you're a bit odd if you don't drink. There's more support in a way.

I took it with a large pinch of salt Teapot. Imo I would rate psychological reasons for drinking important factors in ability to moderate in the future as well as physical. Can't remember seeing any medical citations or references either.

Good Afternoon! Can I join please?! I'm on the Dry Jan thread and Lucy suggested coming over here for a bit of support. I'm finding reading all the attempts at moderation there quite difficult at the moment. I'm on day 55 and have no desire to moderate. I am finding it extremely easy not to drink alcohol and have done since I got the first 10 days or so of Dry Jan out of the way. Is that bad? Am I going to 'come a cropper'? Over the last couple of days I've sort of been waiting for the urge to drink to sneak up on me but it's not happening! I'm off on a 'Big Night Out' on Friday with friends and I am really looking forward to not drinking, being able to drive and not feeling like crap the next day. I'm generally looking forward to the future and trying out this new way of life!

Hellooooo Heman - Welcome to our humble abode

Huge congratulations on your 55 days; it sounds like you have really 'seen the light' - which is such a good foundation to start you off. One of my favourite sober sayings is "sobriety offers everything that alcohol promised", just so true...

To answer your question, I don't think you need to live in eternal fear of 'coming a cropper', but I do think it's important to plan ahead when you have potentially tricky situations coming up, and not to get toooo complacent. It sounds like you are doing that with the driving etc, which is great. In general though, life really is better sans the booze - the shit bits are easier to handle and the good bits you know are genuine!

Afternoon all! Gah taking a breather from 5,000 word bloody uni assignment that I have to present on Thursday! Wahhh how am I going to survive - no sugar!! Broken it's going okay most of the time but I'm now a lot more restricted in my sober treat ideas. Chocolate was always a good fail safe and think will have to buy high %age dark chocolate after Lent to give me something to live for
Heman!!! Welcome welcome I find the deteriorating moderating chat over there pretty tough to read too so I get it. Congrats on day 55 and no reason why you should fall off unless you choose too. Ooh big night out - what's one of those?

Lucy not sure how strict you are being in your sugar-free, but this recipe is from Sarah Wilson's "I Quit Sugar" book and it's absolutely delicious, really hits the choc spot. (I make it without the rice syrup) here

Teapot thank you :)