Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

Welcome derxa well done on 13 days

Mr Chicken is excellent and his Missis was found to have been hiding 13 eggs in the barn today - naughty thing! think she may be going broody so maybe we will have teeny tiny serama chicks in 3 weeks or so ...squee!

Just rushing in and out. :)

Yay Tortoise!!!! [mexican wave] So good to see you! I have seriously missed you on this thread. Loving your blog as always. :)

Hello derxa! So lovely to have you with us, welcome!

Hi Heman! :) My DS is 4. He is lovely. :) We are currently waiting for an assessment to see if he is on the spectrum which has been challenging of late, for me emotionally especially, but we are all good here. Congrats on your sober birthday. :)

glad baby chickens. [melts in a puddle].

Lucy, my DM was an A&E nurse and she always used to say they had extra staff scheduled for full moons.

More tomorrow. Night night, sleep well.

Sounds like a great birthday Heman, glad you enjoyed it.

Welcome derxa. Scroll just slightly upwards for my less than jolly demeanour Fairly early days for me so know how hard it can be at times at the start. I think the downs are totally worth it though. Personally I can't put a price on those moments I feel so happy and proud of myself for trying to change things around which sounds soppy and daft but it's true :)

Whoop! That is amazing Lucy, well done. Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow.

Good to have you back Tortoise, I didn't realise you had a blog too.

I have ex police parents and my brother who is an emergency call operator, they have always said the same thing about full moons. Wooo..

Did my meditation thingy today. Was ok, found it difficult tbh. I'm a fidgeter and get bored if I'm not constantly doing something. Sitting still is a hard task to accomplish never mind the constant chatter of my brain. Will practise at home as I think it would be good for stress.

Right off to bed since we have had a fun filled afternoon entertaining the class bear. I never imagined parenthood would involve a weekend centred around a stuffed toy!

aM TEMPTED TO STICK EGGS IN INCUBATOR, JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS

Hooray Lucy enormous for you 18 months of freedom well done!!!

I've missed you too Tortoise welcome back and up the downunders. Love your blog. You are like the voice in my head (but saner). You can't possibly know how much stronger your posts made me feel in the early weeks of my sobriety. Which I now feel fiercely protective of, anyone else got that feeling?

Welcome derxa and you will get there. The only way out is through. And it's worth it.

And happy sober birthday Heman milestones all round.

All chaos over here in Land of Big Decisions and Flux. Will say more when I know more. Thank god for yoga this morning.

Night all x

What lovely messages I don't know how to add emoticons as I am new

Ps Last I absolutely dare you to take a photo of the class bear meditating.

I'll give you a if you post the picture of said bear meditating here

Glad You must put the eggs in the incubator! Then you can have baby chicks and post pics for Corn and I to coo over. Won't missus chicken be sad though if you take her babies away?

Ah the class bear Last. And the diary you have to fill out. I'm so sorry you've had to endure this for the whole weekend . We only had to do it for one night. That was bad enough. Load of old tut. Bah humbug.

The class bear.... I got really excited when we got it and went totally overboard and ended up being one of those parents.

derxa I can assure you I was not very jolly either in the early days. :) I first started being Dry almost a year ago exactly, but have had several slips. I felt shame, anger, fear mostly in the early days, but is passes very quickly..... then I felt such pride that I was actually doing this whole sobriety thing! It is the best thing ever ever ever. In previous attempts at sobriety, even racking up a number of days or weeks I have felt angry and annoyed and white-knuckled it all the time. Now, thanks to the thread here and the blogs I read and all the books, I feel so positive about this... like it is an exciting adventure rather than a dreadful neccessity. One of the things I love most is the peace I feel. The endless internal chatter and self hatred and failed attempts to moderate were doing my head in. I just feel so much calmer.

I am so excited about summer coming..... last year a feature of me trying to avoid the wine bottle was I kept packing up DS and a picnic and driving an hour to the nearest beach and having picnic dinners. We had a great time! I cannot wait to do this again this year!

Good morning!! TWO DAYS!!! till we go to Portugal. I am beside myself with excitement - whilst the children are 'oh good coupla days - you ok mum?'..... sad really, but I just soooooo need this.

Sorry!

Welcome derxa. Thirteen days is nearly two weeks which is when I finally began to feel a bit cheerier. The first fortnight is really all about adjusting mentally and physically so you won't feel like running through a sun dappled forest grinning and singing! I have been a bit blergh lately too - everyone knows I don't drink. yet seem to have a mental block when talking about my holiday - comments like 'ooh just think, you'll be relaxing with a nice glass of wine' It's really odd - and has got into my head a bit it did used to be great drinking on holiday - feeling it was OK to start in the morning because everyone did, but looking back , it was like Christmas - I could drink abnormally because it seems normal for that time or place. It will be lovely, I can run and go riding and appreciate it this time.

Well done Lucy!!! I knew it was around now! see you tonight to celebrate (promise I won't go on about Portugal )

I had too many years of the class bear! glad those days are gone!

Several friends of ours have chickens - but pur stupid cat would probably be most affronted if we got some .

Happy birthday for Thursday Hermann! 43? baby

it was my gorgeous son's 15th birthday yesterday. He is such a lovely boy - his 'treat' was a day at the science festival astronomy open day! he wants to be a cosmologist so it was perfect . First time we have spent a day on our own for a while so a really lovely day.

Shiney sun and happy days to you all xxx

CornChips, you wonderful person, look at you all sober and sparkly! It's so nice to hear you sounding so happy. It is totally a great adventure.

Lucy, 18 months! pompoms

I feel really naff name checking everybody and really rude not doing so, but I'm pleased as punch (non alcoholic punch) to see you all.

Today marks the 30th day of my Whole30 diet, and I tell you what, if you want to not miss alcohol, a restrictive diet is the answer. Well, it's probably a horrible idea in early sobriety - treat early and often! - but right now, I would walk through a pyramid of filled champagne glasses to get to a bag of crisps.

Corn I second Tortoise in saying how great it is to hear you sounding so happy. Trips to the beach as a sobriety saver have turned into a lovely family thing - how cool is that? :)
molly I'll see you later missus complete with sombrero
tortoise go you on the whole30!! That is hardcore and I admire your tenacity. Still Davina sugar free-ing it here for another two weeks but will fall face first into a bag of Mini Eggs as soon as the sun is up on Good Friday

Bah humbug DH tells me that will have to wait until Easter Sunday

Lucy, sugar free for six weeks (?) vs sugar/grains/dairy/legumes free for four. I think we both deserve medals and also chocolate eggs.

Actually I almost don't want any. Which is going to be a whole new blog post about identity and what we put in our mouths. It's like, we get taught as children that 'you are what you eat' or drink, and as adults that stops being a literal concept (i.e., we are physically composed of our foodstuffs) and starts being more about identity. In a logical sense, I know that being teetotal - or gluten free, or a dawn riser - makes absolutely no difference to who I am as a person, but also it kind of has, because I am no longer messy and chaotic and filled with regrets. And that sounds good, but on the other hand...am I ready to be Little Miss Perfect? Do I WANT to be that person who deals with their every emotional crisis with some healing yoga and a cup of herbal tea? I'm not sure I'm ready to stop being the person who takes to their bed with a family block of chocolate and constantly wishes she were 10 lbs lighter. Does that make sense?

Tortoise makes perfect sense. I remember going for a session in a flotation tank many years ago and chatting to some guy there who said through using flotation and sensory deprivation (which is what the experience is) he completely knew himself and I thought - god, I don't want that because what that's what life is about to me, learning about ourselves. Equally at Cambridge we've been doing a lot of study about identity and our life stories and how they can be both a comfort and a deterrent for growth - which always makes me think of that Marianne Williamson quote "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." Sorry bit deep for a Monday morning and not sure what I'm trying to say! ..... maybe it's just that I agree, being human isn't about being perfect and seeing chocolate as part of that imperfection isn't such a bad thing

Morning everyone. Hello Tortoise and welcome back :)

I totally get what you're saying there Tortoise and really identify with it. Although I think that's our 'addict brain' rationalising what we do as being a reflection of our imperfection (and therefore by extension, somewhat understandable), rather than being what it is... which is a way of stuffing down our feelings of imperfection. The imperfections are still there, we're just having to face them. Which is shit at times...

Speaking of which, I'm having a bit of a low period at the moment. Was rather hoping it would pass with the eclipse but... I feel like I'm on the edge of falling off of something, although I'm not sure what the 'something' is. I've been on a bit of a mission the past few months, and have lost 2.5 stone, been eating really well and enjoying it, feeling very happy about being AF, etc etc. And then... just this slight feeling of blankness. I went to a kids party yesterday (one of those really bonkers ones too with 30 kids of varying ages revved up on sugar) and was quite stressed out even by the time I'd arrived. When I told the host dad I was feeling "unnecessarily stressed out..." he asked in all innocence "would wine help?". Poor bloke, 99% of the people there would of course have guffawed and said "oh go on then!" but he then had to endure me saying "hmm, in my case no - I've stopped drinking". Cue slightly embarrassed shuffle of feet...

I'm on what I hope is the final furlong now of what has been a 2.5 yr separation/divorce process, and I'm sure that's partly to do with it. There are going to be several court hearings between now and June, and everything ramping up a gear no doubt. It's like a very expensive game of chess with lots of posturing and surprise manoeuvres etc. I think I'm just exhausted by it all.

Teapot
Huge congrats on staying on the sober path and such terrific weight loss! I'd be bloody worn out at a 2.5 years process too particularly if there is posturing and surprise manoeuvrings to contend with. Can you rally some troops to help lift and support you during this final - and probably most stressful - leg of the proceedings?

Thanks Lucy. I think that's a good idea. I'd also like to try and get along to a meeting. I think one of my issues is that I'm starting to feel a bit 'at sea' in this not drinking lark. I know I'm doing the right thing by staying sober, but I'm wondering if I could benefit by some face-to-face support. I do keep having thoughts that "I wasn't that bad really", which I know I've voiced here before (with exactly the right responses!). I do know though that whenever I break it down, play the tape to the end in an individual circumstance, I know that the right answer is not to have a drink.

Teapot Attending a meeting is a good idea :) I've had to attend a few to find one I like but try to go once a week now. It's a good reminder of why I've made the choice I have and completely understand why you might feel a little 'at sea' when you are dealing with emotionally stressful events in your life. Maybe a Club Soda event might be helpful too?

Teapot

You could always attend a meeting and see how it goes Teapot. I've only been to a few and quite some time ago but know that the option is always open to me should I feel the need. I don't believe I'm powerless, I don't want to follow steps but it's nice to sometimes be with other people that 'get it' and not feel quite so alone. Would love for there to be some sort of club soda events here but unfortunately not. I'm really not surprised you're emotionally exhausted, 2.5 years is a long time

Hmm I kind of get that about identity and food Tortoise as I would look at people who are paleo or vegan and to me that is part of who they are. I really don't see chocolate in bed as an imperfection

Could you lovely ladies post the links to your blogs? I steered away from blogs at the start as they made me want to drink but think I'm past that now.

Last you can find mine here and Tortoise's here :)

Morning all. Had a friend around for dinner last night . She mentioned on the phone to me she was 'off the booze' for a year so we had great fun mixing mocktails. Lots of wierd and wonderful juice and citrus combos :)

More tasty than wine anyway. I remember saying way back on a much earlier Dry thread that I KNOW what wine, beer etc tastes like. More fun to drink other stuff. !

Hooray corn IRL friends who are on the same path - how cool!