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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dry 6

999 replies

sydneysideup · 01/12/2014 19:33

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

OP posts:
brokeneggshells · 03/12/2014 19:08

That does indeed sound like a great reason BigglesGrin

Well done leftie It's one I've noticed that I'm not getting as bothered by things as before. Maybe the mood swings were from boozing but I think the real reason is because I was letting myself getting annoyed, blowing things up in my head so I had an excuse to drink.

littleleftie · 03/12/2014 20:31

Yes biggles I do wonder if I was just looking for any old excuse. I do seem less stressed now I am over the first three weeks. The nervous tic I had has gone, even though work has actually got even more stressful.

I am quite happy not to drink in the evenings now. I have my works Xmas do on Friday ( I know it's early!) and am a little worried how people will react when I don't drink. I am the boss if that makes any difference? Any advice?

CornChips · 03/12/2014 20:57

My standard response whenever anyone asks me why I am not drinking is to say I have to drive to B&Q later. Not sure that would work for a Friday night though! Grin

Can you be a designated driver for anyone else? The only problem is that it means you have to stay until the end bored and tapping your car keys while other people start singing along to 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor. (Been there- on the singing side though. :) )

I feel for you though.... I have a works do on Saturday. I am dreading it.

Haggismcbaggis · 03/12/2014 21:38

Littleleftie - pain medication (tooth?bruised rib?) that doesn't mix well with booze is quite a good excuse as a one off.

Having a very early start the next day
Is quite good too. Sometimes just saying "water for now I'm taking it easy" is enough.

brokeneggshells · 03/12/2014 22:56

Excuses- on metronidazole. Antibiotic commonly given for tooth problems by your dentist and makes you violently ill if mixed with alcohol. Up early (I use my dc as an excuse, say I can't be dealing with them and hangovers at stupid o'clock.)
Non excuses - Say nowt and just order a non alcoholic drink. I plan to do this for an Christmas do in a couple of weeks, didn't drink at it last year and it wasn't a big deal with anyone bar the initail 'oh, are you sure?'

Have fun and hope you enjoy yourself Smile

sydneysideup · 03/12/2014 23:12

Ha ha Corn I love the idea of an important B&Q appointment keeping you on the straight and narrow.

I agree w Broken, it's not usually as much a deal with most people as you expect if you don't order alcohol. Having said that, if you need an excuse then having to drive a babysitter home is one I've used myself in the past. I've also taken to ordering ginger ale in a large wine glass, I like the thinner glass and I seem to drink it more slowly. It's not that I want to pretend I'm drinking exactly, I just like the better quality glass and the specialness of it somehow. Weird eh?

Leftie What I would say is get your own drink in early, then hold on to it and don't finish it, then you don't get offered top ups quite so much. You could also line up something lovely and hangover impossible for yourself for the Sat am, like a 9am facial or yoga class. So the next day you can feel really good about being sober and serene. Or even just cafe breakfast out and pre-crowd Xmas shopping. I think what we really gain by not drinking is the daytime activities being fun rather than horrific. And 3 weeks is fab well done. In the early days you find you're often facing things without alcohol for the first time, but you may well find it's easier than you expect and then it feels fantaaaaastic that you've got through it.

OP posts:
Alsoflamingo · 04/12/2014 16:50

Wow LittleLeftie sounds like you are doing brilliantly. Works dos always a slight pain, but normally everyone else gets so sloshed they don't notice what you are doing. Making sure you have a drink in your hand at all times is great advice too. As is planning early yoga/massage or similar. I had a 9am regular Pilates session on a sat for about a year. What a waste of money that was - I'd either call and cancel with some spurious excuse - or go and lie about in an ineffectual manner feeling like death. The fact that I stuck with the sessions is a good example of the bonkers thinking that takes over, I think. In that I genuinely believed each week it would be different....

littleleftie · 04/12/2014 18:37

Thanks everyone for the brilliant support. I might say I have to get up early to drop DS off for a school trip or something like that.

I definitely won't drink. I have a tricky staff member that I cannot afford to get drunk around as I might tell him what a fucking waste of space he is and ask him why he doesn't just leave so actually not drinking is really going to help me. It's more about how I explain myself as I would usually be sinking the wine in a professional manner Blush

I shall report back on Saturday Smile

Haggismcbaggis · 04/12/2014 19:09

Also flamingo - another one here that has stopped paying for Pilates I don't attend...,Smile

brokeneggshells · 04/12/2014 21:21

That reminds me of a work Christmas do I once went to leftie only nearly everyone got smashed and did tell him what a useless waste of space he was. I was fairly new so was like this Shock He was the manager. Not long after that got demoted and moved. Least you'll be able to watch the proceedings with a clear head and no regrets the next day.

Been running it through my head the past few nights and I won't be going back to AA. It's really not for me. Know it works fantastic for some people, some of you lovely ladies go and fair play I respect that but it's not my thing. That's all I say on the matter Grin

I see the decision has been reached to open an alcohol support topic after all Smile

BigglesFliesUndone · 04/12/2014 21:30

We're not all going to abandon our lovely dry are we?

Alsoflamingo · 04/12/2014 21:32

No!!!!!!

CornChips · 04/12/2014 21:33

I am not abandoning our lovely dry. I think we have a really nice thread.

brokeneggshells · 04/12/2014 21:35

Of course not, fraid to say you lot are stuck with me!

sydneysideup · 04/12/2014 21:42

Ooh have they? Ah well that means we have even more space to hang out in I guess. I'm pleased at least that they called it my suggestion [vain emoticon].
Still getting over plucking up enough courage to join you all though after reading the threads on and off since I escaped the wine in April, not sure I'm brave enough to post about booze all over the place. Trying to keep an open mind though. At least Mumsnet can see the need for support which is a good thing, I know this place has been a godsend for me finding out that whatever happens in life, someone else on MM has usually been through it too!

OP posts:
sydneysideup · 04/12/2014 21:45

Def happy to stay hanging out on here though!

I'm due to visit my friend who hates the fact I've quit drinking tomorrow night. Sigh. It was never supposed to be a thing at hers, a lovely dinner out was planned with about 8 of us, but lots of ill children and lack of babysitting means there'll now only be 4 of us and it'll be at her house. I just hope no one comes out with negative comments about me not drinking.

OP posts:
TeapotDictator · 05/12/2014 08:11

Morning all. I am glad they've started the topic although won't be abandoning this thread either!

Haggismcbaggis · 05/12/2014 17:47

Me neither. I am very attached to this thread.

Chips - I can't recall if I said up thread hoe glad I was that you are back. But I am x

CornChips · 05/12/2014 17:55

Thanks Haggis. :) x

brokeneggshells · 05/12/2014 20:40

Think I'm going to have to stay off Facebook at the weekends now. Mine is littered with people on the drink, works dos and pictures of the boxes deals they are getting from the supermarket. Final straw was a pm from a friend saying we should meet up for a wine before Christmas. Was struck down with a really strong craving like I haven't had from the start and a helpless I do know if I can do this thought. Dd is in bed thankfully so there'll be no heading out but was quite unexpected to feel like this. It sucks.

Sorry for the poor me post and hope everyone is keeping well and those out for the night stay strong and have a good one.

CornChips · 05/12/2014 20:45

Hi broken I was also struck hard with cravings today- I still get 'But it's friday -itis'.

Have my work do tomorrow and am really scared. I have a fraught relationship with someone and am terrified I will think 'fuck it' and slip and then the evening will end up like one of those Real Housewives parties where everyone ends up in screaming banshee mode. Grin (that grin was through gritted teeth though)

You CAN do it. In fact, you are doing it. :) Thanks

brokeneggshells · 05/12/2014 21:08

Thanks Corn Flowers We all quite simply rock don't we Grin Sooo glad I have this thread to sound off to.

You will be fine, deep breaths and play the film to the end. A real reason to stay sober I would say. Dp had his last week and left early as he was staying sober (on meds), it all kicked off later on and he was damn glad he didn't drink and left when he did.

Real housewives is one of my guilty pleasures Blush

Lucy2610 · 05/12/2014 21:39

Cooee! Sorry ladies - uni day yesterday and then job interview today and missed that you'd moved thread! Biggles fab to meet you earlier in the week and the lovely Haggis again. Right off to catch up on new shiny thread - although I skimmed up thread that are people off somewhere else? Confused LOVE Belvoir's Winter Punch too! :)

Lucy2610 · 05/12/2014 21:49

Talk of Christmas Day - have bought bottle of lovely Bill's pink lemonade to drink that day as a treat :) And I'll be getting some special chocolate in too ... Alcohol support thread on MN hey? That's good and great suggestion Sydney Grin

brokeneggshells · 05/12/2014 22:18

Howd your interview go Lucy? I'm really going to have to try this stuff. Will have to hit the further away Sainsbos I think as my Tesco doesn't stock it.

Just messaged my friend back and told him I've given up drinking. He responded that it was awesome and really rare but in a cool way and we'll do coffee instead. Feel a little bit tearful for some stupid reason but appreciative I have a good friend that goes way back and is supportive. Also a teeny bit scared at starting to 'come out' to people in case I let myself down but what can ya do eh?