Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

Thanks Lucy.

That's great Corn, any particularly nice ones we should try?

Quick check in from Portugal having a fabulous time. bit odd going into the supermarche and walking past the 2 euro boxes of wine but only a very tiny pang!

Weather is amazing. We have been on the beach at praia de luz today. was a bit odd as we walked past the appt where Madeleine McCann went from, it was all a bit spooky but such a beautiful place.

About to go to the spa at the resort now (get me!) and horse riding tomorrow. Such a lovely treat and so much better still waking up sober! I hope everyone is good x

Quiet in here, must be because that molly one's away . Glad you are having a good time, a spa sounds lovely.

90days/3 months today! Had a dream the other night I was plastered and woke up with the first thought of 'oh god what did I do last night?'. Was a good reminder of why I don't drink anymore. Hard to believe that was my first thought most mornings for literally years as I lay in bed and tried to piece together the night before. Then came the checking of the phone and computer with sinking dread to see what damage control needed to be initiated. So nice to be free of that all.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Morning Last - congrats on your 90 days! :) I've had a couple of dreams like that although none for a while... also listened to a Bubble Hour podcast where they analysed drinking dreams recently - might be worth a listen.

mol - go you gliding past the unfeasibly cheap Euro wine... Have a great time.

I was out last night at a relaxed dinner party. Felt slightly odd not drinking but managed to sink 2 litres of water in the space of about 90 minutes. Had all those thoughts on the way home as to how I would have behaved with alcohol... cringing slightly at the memories of being belligerent during conversations, not listening to other people talking and just waiting till I could talk again, etc etc. I was definitely quieter, but it felt so much calmer!

Morning all :)
molly happy your jollidays are going well. It is currently p*ssing it down outside here!
last congrats on 90 days!
teapot congrats on successful sober dinner party! Happy Days all round. Only 4 days of sugar free left before I dive into a bag of Mini Eggs - can you tell I'm happy about that?!

Afternoon all. How is everyone? I have just done my year (well one year and two weeks) and it is honestly the best thing I have ever done (and am still doing). I have done it with the support of here, friends and meetings and I really do feel calmer than I have ever felt before. It has been a bit of a struggle at times and my alcoholic brain seems to want to trick me into drinking again (oh go on, one glass will be ok) but so far so good and for the first time in my life I feel I am making decisions. When I was drinking heavily and dangerously, the things I did were reactions to catastrophes and fuck ups but now I calmly make decisions about what I want and don't want to do.

I still get drinking dreams and still wake up with that sense of shame; the kind of shame that feels like it is in your bones, and the relief when I realise it was just a dream is almost palpable.

HUGE Congratulations kate on your 380 days!! It's so good to hear that it's the best thing you've ever done and I can only respond with one answer and that's 'me too'
Hope you've rewarded yourself with a big old sober treat for this amazing milestone?

I was planning a celebration for weeks, and then when it came down to it, I went to the pictures with the boyfriend and then had a takeaway whilst watching crap tv. It was pretty perfect actually. I must admit to having a bit of a wobble on year 1 day 1 when it struck me that I was still an alcoholic, but I gave my head a wobble and realised I would not choose to go back to drinking in such a dangerous way, and when that panic flash passed, I was fine. it really is a work in progress isn't it?

Perfect :) It is very much a work in progress kate. Still get attacks of the f*ck it's at 18 months - just not as frequently!

Home . Had the most amazing time, tempered only by dh last night having 'a few' beers and annoying me. To be honest, he drank very little all week but we went out for a lovely meal as it was pur last night and he got a bit pissed and irritating. I really really REALLY fancied a Portuguese lager and watching him drink several made me a bit irrational I wasn't horrible but the kids could see I was getting twitchy. Bloody sodding alcohol

Hey molly Well done! Glad you had a lovely time and go and have 10 fags - that'll cheer you up

Hi all

Been away with friends on walking holiday. Had brilliant time - had a glass of wine with the evening meal a couple of times BUT did not do anything silly and actually drank a lot of AF wine and fizzy water. (I took my own - go me !) Normally would have been pretty smashed most nights, but this time was not and I had a really great time and woke up bright eyed and hangover free every morning. Also did lots of hill walking and other outdoor stuff and have come home and found I have lost some more weight.

Result!

Result indeed glad :)

Glad you had a nice holiday molly. I'm sure it's a bit depressing coming back to this weather, if yours has been anything like ours the last couple of days.

Sounds like a great break gladistopped. I've been quite fancying taking up hill walking myself lately, nothing like outdoorsy stuff to clear the head.
Well done losing weight!

I'm going the opposite way and will have to start cutting down on my sugar intake unless I want to replace most of my wardrobe. Had to go and buy new jeans as I've moved up a dress size, hardly surprising the family sized bars of chocolate I'm been shoving down my throat. Talking of sugar - not long to go now Lucy!!

Been hard here. Stressed out to the max in the middle of moving house and littliest has turned into a fiery tempered absolute nightmare of a toddler. Nearly burst into tears this morning, I am not enjoying being a mother atm at all.

That is awesome kate, big congrats!!

Hello ladies. Never posted on this thread before and am at point where I'm seriously considering giving up alcohol for good.

I don't drink a massive amount although more than I ought and have realised that its not good for me in many ways more than just physical.

However I've got a few questions that I need help with. I've read a lot of the stuff that's out there on the internet about being sober. A lot of it is from the US and so sometimes I find it hard to translate to a UK setting. Also there is a big AA thing going on - lots of people seem to have used this as a route to success.

For me AA is a non starter - I did go once on the recommendation of a counseller who suggested I go just to prove to myself that actually I wasn't that bad! It was years ago, in an inner city setting and I had nothing in common with the people there. Maybe its changed but family commitments mean that there is no way that I could go to regular meetings. Plus also I wouldn't want my DCs to know that I feel that drinking is a problem for me. They are old enough now to understand that it could be which is part of my motivation for stopping.

So I guess I'm just wondering if people feel that some kind of group experience is the only/ best way or if others of you in my position have found a different way.

I have had some success at stopping for short periods but I always end up slipping back into old bad habits and then a kind of all or nothing mentality takes over and I'm back to square one.

Hi all... i dropped off the thread again. Welcome Holly.

I can;t answer your questions Holly as I don't do AA, but I am at the point where I really crave real life support as well. So I am thinking about it..... there is a new group that started near me for newcomers so I may give that a go. :) There is also a club soda event being run by our very own Lucy that I am really keen to go to. :) I know lots on this thread really value the support AA gives so i will be interested to hear what people say.

I am in white knuckling mode again. So exhausting. I am trying to get over the cravings by eating..... I am the largest I have ever been. In fact..... I am 2 pounds lighter what I was the day before giving birth. Might try that sugar free thing Lucy... I know you did not need to lose weight, but have you seen a difference?

Hope everyone is fine. Sorry for being glum.

Morning all and welcome Holly. I was also not drinking a huge amount when I decided to stop, but I think the penny finally dropped with me that my relationship with alcohol was a) not healthy and b) was getting in the way of making any real progress in life. "Not drinking a lot" doesn't mean that my past isn't peppered with excruciating anecdotes of alcohol-fuelled behaviour however. It was only after stopping that I did a kind of inventory of my entire history of drinking and when I put it all together, it reallly Was Not Good.

What online resources have you been looking at? I haven't been to an AA meeting and like you, feel as though family commitments get in the way of most (although not all) opportunities to go. I am starting to think that I would like to go along and now know there are some on during the day or at the weekend, so it's not a complete no-go.

Until now I've used sites like Soberistas, went to an Allen Carr seminar as my definitive 'stop point', and read blogs, used this thread etc. I felt as though I needed a defining stop point and the AC seminar worked well for me in that sense (8.5 months dry so far).

Corn - sorry to hear you are white-knuckling it. That's not good at all... hard work for you. Do you have the Jason Vale or AC books? When I'm feeling a bit wobbly I find reading blogs on Soberistas helpful (especially when I read about people's thoughts having relapsed etc - no-one ever feels as though they made the right decision!) or listening to relevant Bubble Hour podcasts (how about Relapse Triggers, or this one about freedom). Even though they talk a lot about recovery and it's a bit 12-steppy, I really do find it soothing to listen to their discussions.

molly glad you had a good holiday!

hi all! adjusting to the misery that is British weather! Not happy that I have to cover up my tan :-D

Welcome Holly. I also had some issues with aa, and left after a couple of months. Admittedly, I went back to drinking after I left for a year but it was because I wasn't ready to stop. I made the decision to stop 18 months ago and have managed it by myself and with the help of this thread. I have also joined a group called Club Soda, which has real life meetings and support - maybe a good thing for you to look into? Stay on the thread though! it is fabulous. We celebrate, commiserate and support each other.

I think there are times of the year we get low or wobbly - not always alcohol related necessarily, but just being human. I have found that initially I get resentful when I can't drink to 'feel better' but then manage to get through the tricky times in a much more positive way. Sending good thoughts to everyone xx

Corn feel free to ignore me but if you're having alcohol cravings at the moment I wouldn't advise cutting out sugar until you have the alcohol cravings under control. I know it's hard, when I stopped I was the heaviest I'd ever ever been (having put on 2 stone in 18 months... none of my clothes fitting and just miserable about it all) but I really don't think I could have done both at once because I would just have felt even more miserable and deprived. XXX

Oh, I managed a run yesterday - didn't do any on holiday - spent most of the time walking and swimming with an afternoon horse riding. I wore my shorts and vest so did manage to flash the tan for a bit

Agree with that! sugar is sadly necessary at times

Thanks for replies. I agree a definitive stop date is important. I have looked at Bubble Hour and also something called Smart recovery which is a kind of CBT thing which I like because it seems logical to me. They do have online meetings but its not v big in the UK. I've also read Lucy's blog.

I agree drinking not a lot means actually drinking quite a lot if you add it up over all the years. I do feel its necessary to really change something in life other than just drinking and so have taken some steps to do some exercise (running) and kind of reorganise my life a bit.

I think the main problem for me is that the opportunites to do this are limited because of family stuff. I can't just opt out of that especially as DH has a demanding job so I'm the main person running the home. I find the daily grind of looking after kids and dealing with all their emotional highs and lows is the thing that has me reaching for a glass of wine at the end of the day.

Everyone will groan now....but...I took up running when I stopped! since then I have been really keen on it and go most days - normally when I would have reached for a drink. I even managed to do a 10k last year. Could you do something like that?

I won't groan! I've been doing the couch to 5k thing and its finally something I can fit in to day to day routine. The main thing I've found is that I can't run so well if I've been drinking the day before. I'm aiming to do a park run at some point but not sure when.

I think the thing is to tie it all in together in some way. Set a date for the park run etc. I've been shilly shallying because my DCs both do things on Saturdays when the park runs are on which I have to drive them to.

I'd be interested to hear from someone who has got over the hump of just giving up for a couple of weeks and then thinking - well its ok, I feel ok, just a glass won't hurt ...

The other thing is DH. I can't stop him drinking so the house always has drink in it. This I find really hard.