Why do some men suddenly go cold after three months?

[dontcallmehon22]

I've had two three month short relationships this year. Both with men who declared love very early on, were very very intense and passionate etc etc. Both dumped me after three months exactly. They both suddenly turned their feelings off like a light switch.

Guy two really hurt me. He'd introduced me to his family and friends, told me he'd never hurt me, bought me gifts, planned days out, cooked for me, talked about the future etc. He knew about guy one and told me to trust him, I was too important to him. He thought about me all the time. Thought about what our future would look like all the time. Then suddenly it's over and he disappears from my life. Just like that. No emotion. No explanation. He seemed to go off me a week before it happened, didn't seem as affectionate/complimentary.

I just don't understand it. I'm questioning what is wrong with me. My self esteem is at rock bottom right now.

Exactly Mini. People in life do things that hurt you etc. Telling the OP that she needs to change her number on her phone is not the answer. The inconvenience of that is just not worth him.

There was nothing wrong with you getting drunk OP, nothing at all.

There is nothing wrong with you being sad that it didnt work out for you either.

He just decided that you weren't for him OP, its allowed. Its also allowed to go for it and know that.

As I said, rejection isnt nice. But dont think you did anything wrong here and spend years thinking that.

You took a leap of faith, we all do. It didnt work out, but you did it. Dont think you are damaged because of it.

I just was bewildered by the sudden dramatic change in his feelings I guess

Oh OP. What's is happening on Mnet Relationships tonight??
It's not the coke bottle that was the red flag, he told you he had cheated on his wife, he told you he had a sex addiction, he asked you to marry him on 2nd date, had naked exes on ipad, left a girl before with no word.

He had told you what he was like - listen!

What she said ^^

Oh yes, rudepepper - it does seem obvious when you put it like that .

You both went into something that you wanted to be true. For him it wasnt what he wanted, you could spend years wondering, OP... its not worth it. The bottom line this time and maybe a few more along the way is he didnt feel what you did. Just know that you can do that, it a wonderful quality. Dont think all men are arses because they arent. Then you do have a problem.

I don't think all men are arses. I do think he was a bit. He came on way too strong in retrospect.

Three times a week! No wonder he's an empty vessel. You're well rid.

Once we had a Thursday night date. He got drunk on Wednesday with his mate. He met me at 4.30 and left at 7.30 as he was so ill/hungover. I'd paid a babysitter for the night. Thought that was rude.

So i dont know why you arent well shot of him then? Actually Gilbert I like a drink. Doesnt make me an "empty vessel" {rod up arse comes to mind} I also smoke, sends Gilbert into a right spin

But he was gorgeous...sigh

awww... never mind OP. Another gorgeous one will come along.

Due to being quite naught myself, i also like a naught one. Nothing wrong with that OP, he just wasnt the one for you. Onwards and upwards, no internalising what he did though huh.

I will try not to. I don't see him committing to anyone to be honest. He has the life he wants already

stop thinking about what he's doing, waste of energy! think about how lovely you were and build on that.

OP, my dad once said something to me when he saw me crying about what others had done. He said "my darling girl, you will be knocked over plenty of times but you will get up, there are a lot of selfish people in this world and you are not one of these, dont ever let them change you".

That's lovely Tinks. I will be ok. I think if I meet a man who declares love early on again, I'll be very wary

I have no doubt that you will be ok OP. Its called disappointment that yet again he wasnt the one. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You dont need years of therapy. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and remember you were lovely, honest and open to actually fall in love.

TBH if I had a new partner and they got drunk in front of my friends and really embarrassed me, I think I'd go cold too... sorry

Really? unless they became aggressive then Id laugh and help them out, theyre nervous for god sake. Blimey, i wouldnt want to be in your "proper" company mimi.

I love mistakes, I love when people make gaffs, I love Imperfections, they are fantastic in my book. Its what makes us human. I dislike people that look down their noses at others.

Tinks, that's a lovely heart warming post!

Thank you AW, perfectly imperfect is the way to go huh.

Would you be embarrassed just because they got drunk mimi? (Genuine question)