thank you all, because now I'm safe

[helpmekeepstrong]

Having been in an abusive relationship and afraid, I started to read Mumsnet. Over a period of months, I began to understand that my life wasn't as it should be. I read more and more threads and came to the conclusion that leaving was going to be a very frightening thing to do. I contacted the DV helpline and started the process. I would never have had the courage to involve the police, living in a very tight and protected community.
I quietly planned, with my sisters, via email, how to get away. Even e-mailing was frightening and secretive. I have no family here, in the UK. I had one friend left and she in the next county. I had my husband with me 24/7 and yet, even living in one caravan, under his nose, quietly, I managed to pack enough clothes and documents. My friend came for me in her car and I got away. He didn't even see me go, we were that quick. I even managed to take my little dog with me.
Now I am hoping to find a place in a refuge and then to house myself and start again. I'm 58 years old and beginning a new life.
Thank you Mumsnet for the threads that saved me.
I have had some days of peace which have been wonderful.
Tonight I had a message that he wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk to him.
So I will not.
Any of you, reading this and wondering if you can..... you can.
If I did it, it is surely possible for you.

Have only just seen this thread.

Well done. Keep your chin up. Things will work out and you will get set. You clearly are strong, articulate, intelligent and talented, so believe in yourself.

KOKO

Oh well done for getting out.

Onwards and upwards. Live well.

Please keep posting, I would love to hear how you are getting on.

I'm so pleased for you for all you have achieved.

Don't be surprised if you swing between elation and terror, this can be expected during a time of huge change.

Hold tight to what you know which is that the worst is behind you and there is much joy to look forward to.

Your post has just made me cry. I am sorry for what you have been through, and I hope you enjoy the peace and security you deserve now that you have escaped. xx

Keep strong and know you did the right thing, the only thing. The Freedom Programme is an eye opener and you will start to rebuild yourself, regain the life he stole.

Another one here who cried after reading your post. You are such an inspiration.

Big hugs to you, your little dog, and your wonderful friend, and I wish you all the very best for the future

That's amazing! I'm so happy for you!

Enjoy your life now.

Just read whole thread. You are quite simply amazing. And echoing another poster, you do indeed write so beautifully. Maybe one day you can write a book as an inspiration to others.

Oh my. I cried reading this. Well done you!!!

A quick update. It's four weeks today since I ran, terrified, into a new life. I was a bit down this morning but luckily, despite chronic staff shortages, there was a support worker who noticed and gave me her time to listen and encourage.
I alternate between feeling positive and then scared about the maze that is finding permanent housing and work and how to make the transition from here to there. Chicken and egg, catch 22 etc etc.
After talking to her, of course I felt relieved and able to continue to write my journal and thoughts about where I am heading. One step at a time.
Just to say it once again.... if you think your life isn't as it should be, think you may need help but are scared to act; I am living proof that you can escape and find a fantastic support network to help you through. You can start in these pages, like I did.
I had no idea just how abusive my relationship was, I'm understanding now that it was far, far from 'normal' and probably very dangerous. I was brainwashed and captive but I got away.
So can you. Start here.

Thanks for the update. It's good to hear that you are doing so well and coping with the down moments. You are a fantastic role model for others who may be in the same position you were. Good luck

What an amazing woman x

I have been weeping, with joy, reading your thread, OP. You are nothing short of inspirational. I am copying and posting the thread to a friend who is still with a ghastly abusive man and I'm sure she'll take inspiration from it.

Wish this was in Classics.

What a turnaround in your life keepstrong.

Mumsnet, for all the criticisms some level at it, has catalyzed something truly worth while here.

Keep strong, you are an inspiration.

Great update OP. What an inspiration you are. Good luck.

Glad to see your update Keepstrong- and relieved to see your clarity about the level of danger you were in. Have you been able to have contact with your family?

I am so so so proud and happy for you sweet girl x

OP, I want to give you a standing ovation! :):)

You are all amazing with your continued support. I hope I can offer the same lifeline to someone else.
Btw - checked my phone bill on line - it's in my name of course and I left it connected for the month so that he would have some line to the outside world.... last Monday alone he managed to achieve a staggering £197 charge in calls to 118 118. What a knob.
Feelings of guilt are fading fast...... good job I've got a sense of humour.
Love you Mumsnetters x

I second the standing ovation.

You are an inspiration. You go girl!! X

How's it going helpmekeepstrong?

I have been watching your thread, and I think you are amazing. Truly, amazing.

I'm late to this thread - someone else linked to it on another thread.

OP I'm so pleased for you that you have grabbed this chance at a new life!

Well done, stay strong, you have so much happiness ahead of you.

I too have just read this linked by another thread (to provide inspiration to another lady, not for any bad reason).

Your account, Helpme, is honest, articulate, touching and inspirational. Well done to you. I hope life is still on an even keel for you and that you are finding happiness day by day.

You sound like such a lovely lady. x

Another one checking in to see how you are doing helpme? Hope that you may now be reunited with your little dog and that your new life is taking shape and feeling positive? x

oh strong you've made me cry again, woman! I love you, dear soul ... keep writing, make a blog, you are truly an inspiration and a motivator. I think you could be a life-coach for many lost women ...