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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

thank you all, because now I'm safe

235 replies

helpmekeepstrong · 12/08/2014 00:01

Having been in an abusive relationship and afraid, I started to read Mumsnet. Over a period of months, I began to understand that my life wasn't as it should be. I read more and more threads and came to the conclusion that leaving was going to be a very frightening thing to do. I contacted the DV helpline and started the process. I would never have had the courage to involve the police, living in a very tight and protected community.
I quietly planned, with my sisters, via email, how to get away. Even e-mailing was frightening and secretive. I have no family here, in the UK. I had one friend left and she in the next county. I had my husband with me 24/7 and yet, even living in one caravan, under his nose, quietly, I managed to pack enough clothes and documents. My friend came for me in her car and I got away. He didn't even see me go, we were that quick. I even managed to take my little dog with me.
Now I am hoping to find a place in a refuge and then to house myself and start again. I'm 58 years old and beginning a new life.
Thank you Mumsnet for the threads that saved me.
I have had some days of peace which have been wonderful.
Tonight I had a message that he wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk to him.
So I will not.
Any of you, reading this and wondering if you can..... you can.
If I did it, it is surely possible for you.

OP posts:
helpmekeepstrong · 12/08/2014 00:50

That was meant to be a big smile... Grin ....is that it?

OP posts:
WanderingOakensHoohoo · 12/08/2014 00:51

Wonderful wonderful thread, well done you! Here's to a wonderful future filled with love and happiness Wine

helpmekeepstrong · 12/08/2014 00:55

WanderingOakensHoohoo Wine you too! Must go to sleep now, busy day tomorrow. To wired to settle though!

OP posts:
Dontgotosleep · 12/08/2014 01:02

How lovely to read a happy ending story. Good luck o.p. Congratulations and well done on your new life. You should be very proud of your bravery and courage. You're an inspiration to all women and indeed men going through D.V.

Tiptops · 12/08/2014 03:03

Oh this is so uplifting OP. Thank you for posting and I wish you all the happiness in the world in your 'new' life Thanks

HansieLove · 12/08/2014 03:13

I'm so proud of you! You did it!

DeadSirius · 12/08/2014 03:25

Good job and thank you for posting. Enjoy your life Thanks

WhizzPopBang · 12/08/2014 04:00

Congratulations OP, such a big, brave step! Freedom to be yourself, be unafraid and to encounter the ups and downs of life on your own terms is truly a wonderful thing. When I left a long relationship that wasn't physically abusive, but very controlling, I remember waking up the day after feeling so happy at the thought I could do literally anything I wanted, with no questioning... So I went and had poached eggs on toast at the caff and read the papers - I felt so free!

Here's to your freedom and ability to do anything you set your mind too - good luck! Flowers

HumblePieMonster · 12/08/2014 04:45

well done!

Cerisier · 12/08/2014 05:01

Wonderful news, I am so pleased for you. I wish you every happiness in your new life.

heyday · 12/08/2014 05:50

I am so glad that you have been strong enough to escape from this abusive relationship. Please be careful that he cannot trace your whereabouts through the GPS on your phone. Do block his number. You have nothing, and I mean nothing, to say to this man so he has no need to call you.
I truly hope things will continue to get better for you although I know that the road ahead won't be easy at times. Stay strong and be happy.

MexicanSpringtime · 12/08/2014 06:08

Congratulations, OP. Wonderful news. No advice but I wish you all the best

LoveBeingInTheSun · 12/08/2014 06:11

Congratulations on the beginning of your new life x

freyaW2014 · 12/08/2014 06:17

That's really really great op! Wishing you every happiness! Here's to your future Wine

DoctorTwo · 12/08/2014 06:19

Every time I read a thread like this my heart soars. Well done for getting out, your new life starts now.

Shlurpbop · 12/08/2014 06:36

Congratulations! Hurray for mumsnet! Flowers

ManuscriptsDontBurn · 12/08/2014 06:46

Good luck with everything you do from now on! What a brave move.
I agree, there is a huge power in the knowledge and support offered and shared on MN!
I often think how different my life would have been if Mumsnet and internet information had been around when I was younger.

ExitPursuedByAKoalaBear · 12/08/2014 06:51

Gosh!

Racers · 12/08/2014 06:54

Well done - so glad to hear such positive news!

jemimarose · 12/08/2014 06:55

So pleased to read this. I admire your courage and wish you every happiness. Stay strong.

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/08/2014 06:58

Well done OP and yes, this is inspirational for all those out there that think it is impossible to do. Brew

LadyLuck10 · 12/08/2014 07:32

Well done op! Now you can finally be happy and in control of your own life.
Please don't even meet with him, you are moving forward now. Smile

BlackbirdOnTheWire · 12/08/2014 07:41

Wow! So pleased for you. Your calmness, optimism and determination come across in your messages - you will find something.

DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution · 12/08/2014 07:45

Well done!
Wishing you all the best x

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/08/2014 07:50

Good luck OP. Great to hear that you got away from the abuser successfully. Would love to hear more of your back story about how you got into the relationship in the first place and how you ended up in a caravan etc. I think others might benefit from understanding that part of your journey..... but maybe that's for another day.

Best wishes