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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

thank you all, because now I'm safe

235 replies

helpmekeepstrong · 12/08/2014 00:01

Having been in an abusive relationship and afraid, I started to read Mumsnet. Over a period of months, I began to understand that my life wasn't as it should be. I read more and more threads and came to the conclusion that leaving was going to be a very frightening thing to do. I contacted the DV helpline and started the process. I would never have had the courage to involve the police, living in a very tight and protected community.
I quietly planned, with my sisters, via email, how to get away. Even e-mailing was frightening and secretive. I have no family here, in the UK. I had one friend left and she in the next county. I had my husband with me 24/7 and yet, even living in one caravan, under his nose, quietly, I managed to pack enough clothes and documents. My friend came for me in her car and I got away. He didn't even see me go, we were that quick. I even managed to take my little dog with me.
Now I am hoping to find a place in a refuge and then to house myself and start again. I'm 58 years old and beginning a new life.
Thank you Mumsnet for the threads that saved me.
I have had some days of peace which have been wonderful.
Tonight I had a message that he wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk to him.
So I will not.
Any of you, reading this and wondering if you can..... you can.
If I did it, it is surely possible for you.

OP posts:
PoppyAmex · 07/12/2014 21:51

This thread has brought tears to my eyes.

Best of luck and hope you have a lovely Christmas.

KatyLovesKats · 07/12/2014 22:00

Strong, you are amazing. You remind me of my mum! You will have the happiness you deserve now. Take care x

EmGee · 15/12/2014 21:31

Your story really is just remarkable. You are so positive and optimistic while admitting you still have bad days and moments. Wow! I am sure your story is helping, has helped and will continue to help many others in similar positions.

I hope your first 'free' Christmas is the happiest of happiests!!

helpmekeepstrong · 19/12/2014 16:53

I have posted this in hat, but thought I would put it here too.....
Want to say a big thank you to all the people who have donated to our Women's Refuge this Christmas. We have gifts for the children, gifts for the Mums, cake, mince pies, chocs, treats and a huge free range turkey to cook a lovely Christmas meal. We aren't able to thank the donors ourselves so if you have donated this year to a Refuge or Shelter thank you from all of us. It renews our faith in kindness and we are overwhelmed and so grateful.

OP posts:
Sarine1 · 19/12/2014 16:56

So pleased to hear your update. Wishing you a happy and optimistic Christmas and New Year. xx

PurpleWithRed · 19/12/2014 16:57

Thank you so much for sharing this; wishing you and everyone in a refuge a very happy Christmas and a fabulous, wonderful, free and strong 2015.

GoldenKelpie · 19/12/2014 17:13

OP, read your thread for the first time today, it's made my day and I am so pleased for you. Here's hoping that 2015 sees you and your little doggy safely ensconced in your own little home and with a fabulous, rewarding job to go with it! Your story is very inspiring. Please do keep posting updates...

surereadyforchange · 19/12/2014 17:31

Just wanted to say I hope you have a lovely peaceful Christmas and that 2015 is everything you want it to be.
You are so strong, a total inspiration.
Flowers

helpmekeepstrong · 19/12/2014 20:59

sureready Love and good wishes for 2015. I do hope that it is a good year for you, after all that you have been through. x

OP posts:
helpmekeepstrong · 19/12/2014 21:10

Oh! And by the way..... just in case we sound like Saints and sad people ..... LOTS of infighting in the Refuge at this time of year! Hyper kids (sugared up to the nth on the Crimbo chocolate), uber stressed mums and the singles like me holed up in their tiny bedrooms to get away from the shouting! Really is just like home! Ha! Love it and love them! The full lot of them. May there always be a place where women can seek refuge and just BE! xxx

OP posts:
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