thank you all, because now I'm safe

[helpmekeepstrong]

Having been in an abusive relationship and afraid, I started to read Mumsnet. Over a period of months, I began to understand that my life wasn't as it should be. I read more and more threads and came to the conclusion that leaving was going to be a very frightening thing to do. I contacted the DV helpline and started the process. I would never have had the courage to involve the police, living in a very tight and protected community.
I quietly planned, with my sisters, via email, how to get away. Even e-mailing was frightening and secretive. I have no family here, in the UK. I had one friend left and she in the next county. I had my husband with me 24/7 and yet, even living in one caravan, under his nose, quietly, I managed to pack enough clothes and documents. My friend came for me in her car and I got away. He didn't even see me go, we were that quick. I even managed to take my little dog with me.
Now I am hoping to find a place in a refuge and then to house myself and start again. I'm 58 years old and beginning a new life.
Thank you Mumsnet for the threads that saved me.
I have had some days of peace which have been wonderful.
Tonight I had a message that he wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk to him.
So I will not.
Any of you, reading this and wondering if you can..... you can.
If I did it, it is surely possible for you.

It must have taken such courage to leave. You are an amazing women!

And thank you for posting your story. I'm sure it will be inspiration to others.

Good luck for the future.

Thank you everyone! Feeling a bit tearful this morning, remembering the good times and how comforting it was to snuggle up in a cuddle when things were ok. I can't say that it was always bad - that would make my life seem like a complete waste. In the end though, there were no good times and I will stay strong. I'm holding on to the thought that I have a future now, even if it does mean starting all over again. Tea! That's the thing! Get the kettle on then go for a walk.

Well done.

And Yes, tea and a walk are always good - and now you can really enjoy them.

Well done you!! An amazing achievement, you should hold your head up high and breath a big sigh of relief! xxx

p.s - what you said there, that in the end there were no good times - that's when you know. That's when you stop trying and go into self protection mode.

Good luck

How inspiring and wonderful. You brilliant woman! This is worth celebrating.

Congratulations

I wonder what the stats are for women getting out of DV? I would imagine they swing towards more women staying or repeatedly going back, so you are indeed exceptional strong for getting out and starting the process of building a fabulous new life where you are safe and free.

What a fab thread.

I wish you much happiness in the future!

Congratulations on your new life. Your children must beso proud of you.

Your op says you were in a caravan, are you from a traveller community?

If so, once you are all settled into your new life do consider a blog of some kind to help other women who may be in your position now.

sebsmummy1 It's said that it takes around 40 incidents before a woman will leave. I loved my DH with all my heart and he loved me which is why forgave him every time. I wanted to save him and kept it all secret. Then I started to read Mumsnet, and realised that him describing to me exactly how he would kill me if I tried to leave him wasn't the behaviour of a sane man. In fact a lot of his behaviour was that of a very dangerous man. I still love him. That is why we stay I suppose... I still want to care for him and love him. Clearly I can't, because if I had stayed, one day he may have killed me - even if by accident. It took more courage than I knew I had when I ran, I was terrified of the consequences of being caught.
I'm safe now and I try to look forward but it is just so sad when I look back. Crying now, knew I should have got up!

realitygone I did have a blog and may start another. Reading Mumsnet and other people's stories helped me see the light when I had not a soul to tell or confide in. See, sharing now, is drying my tears and making me focus on the positive once again Hence the name.

So pleased for you. :)

I do hope to that this thread will inspire other abused women to leave.

Well done! Keep strong and good luck for the future.

It's the start of a new life! Well done you and good luck for the future

You are doing great. Yes, there will be many low and nostalgic moments, but you are doing very well by keeping busy (tea, walk,...) and accepting those moments for what they are. It will get much easier with time, and cease to be painful.

What you did was incredibly brave, and you are right now proving to be a wise and resourceful person. Congratulations to you. You can be very proud of yourself.

You will never know how inspirational this post will be to so many women. You are so brave

Well done, you must feel such a sense of relief. Stay strong!

Wonderful. Enjoy the tea and the walk. Take your time and do post as you go along, write a blog, crochet an enormous snuggly bedspread or a cushion for the new bed where the rest of your life will grow and flourish

I admire your courage OP and would like to wish you all the best. And what a good friend you have. Take care.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles my friend is the best! She took a big risk in coming to get me. It was planned, in principle, but she didn't know when the call would come because I couldn't know when my opportunity would present itself. Early that morning, I had ferried clothes bit by bit from a cupboard (right next to his head where he was sleeping) to an outhouse where I had a small case hidden under a bin bag! If he had woken I could have explained away the handful of clothes, but not the suitcase, obviously! Luckily the wheelie bin was empty, so once the packing was done, I hefted the case into the bin and parked it outside the gate. I called my friend knowing that it would take at least an hour and a half to get to me, but not knowing if she would be available to leave immediately. But she could and she did..... which is when he woke up. Did my best to keep him inside and although I wasn't allowed to wander far on my own, I could get to the shop on the campsite opposite under the pretext of buying bread and milk, telling him that I would take the bin down to the collection point while I was at it! That was it. Handbag, wheelie bin and dog on a string. She waited 100 yards away and we loaded and ran. I could barely walk for terror and the enormity of what I had just done hit hard. That was a week ago. I went to the shop and never came back.

You are amazing. Amazing. So so brave.

Well done, help. Best wishes for a fabulous rest of your life x

Seriously impressive, well done.

This thread is wonderful. I'm so glad you have regained control of your life and you are happy again.

Goodness what an inspirational thread.

Well done OP, I wish you a wonderful, calm and peaceful future