My 58 year old mother is pregnant by her husband that is younger than her children!!!!

[freakedthefckout]

So my mum is 58, her husband is 34, they got married last year after they had broke up because he wanted children, now they are married and today they told me she is pregnant.

My mum had a son when she was 16, kept him until he was 5 years old and then gave him away apprantley because my dad wasn't very nice to him (my dad is not her sons dad) and my mum already had my older sister(with m y dad) and kept her.

When my younger brother was a teenager my mum and dad broke up and as my brother was a naughty teenager she decided it would be better for my brother to stay with my dad. There was alot of issues and family dramas which resulted in my mum and my little brother not speaking from when he was 14 to now he is 23.

So basically she felt at the time it was easier for my teenage brother not to be around so she could be with her new young partner that is 24 years younger than her, she has two children older than him.

Anyway she has been with this same young guy for about 9 years and they got marrried last year and now she is pregnant.

WTF I cannot get my head around it, my dd is very close with my mum and we spend alot of time with her. They have a very string bond and as I am a single parent my mum helps out alot.

Anyway I think its very weird that a 58 year old woman would have a child. she basically gave up two children beacuse of the men she was with at the time and now she is having a baby at such a late age in desperation to keep a man.

Also she is not a fit and healthy 58 year old, she has angina and high cholesterol and a thryoid problem. Why on eath do they both think its a good idea to put her body through this at this time in her life?

I know its their decision etc and not really my business, but when they told me i got very angry and quite frankly lost it. I just think they are weird and out of order. It is also unfair to this baby to have such and old mum, when this kid is 10 its mum will be not far off 70!!!! How is that fair?

I just needed to get it off my chest, I'm really not sure if I can be around them anymore I think they are too weird and too selfish.

[AmyMumsnet]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your reports. We have no reason to believe the OP isn't genuine so please avoid making any comments about the hairiness of her hands or her possible dwelling place.

[paxtecum]

She may have lied about her age.

[freakedthefckout]

For all of the posts that think this is fake I can assure you it isn't. I wouldn't waste my time making this up! It is real and my mum is pregnant and I very upset and angry about this.

Just to clear a few things up, my mum had a son when she was 16 with a man that is not my dad.

She met my dad when we was 18 and when she was 21 gave birth to my sister. When her son from a previous relationship was 5 she have him away, when I said she already had my sister what I meant was my mum was not a young girl with a baby that couldn't handle it and have it up for adoption as she couldn't handle being a mother.

Even though she have her son away she kept my sister and still had to be a mother.

She then had me and my younger brother.

Now she is having another child.

[freakedthefckout]

Also with regards to my mum lying about this I honestly do not think that is the case. The background of this storey is:

She met her now husband around 9 years ago when he was about 25 and she was about 49 had a relationship for years, broke up a few times because he wanted children and she obviously was too old. They broke up again about a year and a half ago, after that they got back together got married and was talking about having a child, my mum new my views that it is beyond weird and then decided not to speak to me about it anymore.

Also she must have had ivf. They went to Cyprus to get married last year and went back this year. She stopped drinking and stopped smoking ages ago.

I knew that they were probably trying for a baby but while I thought it was sick and twisted I just thought as a lot of you are thinking the odds are very slim if not impossible.

[grobagsforever]

Have you seen any proof OP? It really does sound like a cruel trick on your mum's part. Sorry you are upset.

[Limer]

Not impossible but would be a very rare occurrence.

How many weeks pregnant is she?

[Lottiedoubtie]

In the nicest possible way OP how do you know for certain she is pregnant?

[StealthPolarBear]

Thanks for clarifying. And yes I agree, giving one of your children away and playing happy families with the others is quite gut wrenching.
However I think someone is lying or deluded. If it's not you op then I think it's your mum. Does she often have dramas and crises in her life? How far along is she? Have you seen a scan pic? Do you know the name of her consultant?

[StealthPolarBear]

Because surely there is no way this wont be deemed a very high risk pregnancy. My mum is younger than yours, slim, fit, healthy. No medical issues (frantically touches wood) but there is no way I can imagine her coping with pregnancy and labour.

[freakedthefckout]

And as one poster mentioned maybe Jeremy Kyle could help with this, I am sure you were being sarcastic thinking I made this up, I honestly wish I had!

This is weird and crap and it's going to affect my life big time! I'm a single parent and my mum helps me out so much with my dd and now I just can't imagine me being part of this! I don't want to have any contact with her or her husband or this child if she manages to have it. It's all too strange!

I feel terrible for my dd as she was there when they told me and I lost it! I started going mad and shouting and my dd was very upset.

Now she has been asking me if I will say sorry to my mum and right now I feel like I don't want my dd anywhere near her because it's like a freak show with them.

[freakedthefckout]

I havnt seen any proof, when they told me I just started shouting and took my dd out of their house ASAP.

I do believe this as had been planning it and my mum had been taking vitamins and spa tone for iron and normally she doesn't take good care of re body atall.

[StealthPolarBear]

But just because she wantedv to get pregnant and started taking vitamins doesn't mean she is
How many weeks?

[freakedthefckout]

Stealth - well my mum has never been able to have a baby through labour, I believe she tried to have her son naturally when she was 16, was unable to then has a c-section and had c-sections with me my sister and my brother.

I am concerned for her health because for the past month or two she has been so tired and drained and quite frankly looks like shit.

[freakedthefckout]

They said the baby is due in February so I'm assuming they are around the 12 week mark.

Also as I was angry and shouting I started saying to her husband that he is selfish and could die trying to do this and their baby will probably have down syndrome as she is so old!

My mum said no this baby is fine. So I'm assuming they had the test to check if the baby has Down syndrome!

[StealthPolarBear]

Actually two months of looking and feeling like shit did tend to coincide with weeks 4-12 of my pregnancies
Eeek

[ChangeIsNear]

If your mum has been there for you and has looked after your DD regularly, surely you want to be there for her when she needs a hand?

[AWombWithoutARoof]

So, when they boy was 5 your mum had a baby girl, and that's when she sent him away? That's really sad.

[StealthPolarBear]

I don't think you can have those tests as early as the dating scan.
You're absolutely right though. Selfish and stupid IMO.

[Finola1step]

Well Freaked it looks like your mum might just be telling the truth. If so, there is very little you can do.

Give yourself time to get over the shock. A long time.

If she is pregnant, it may not be a successful pregnancy, or it may be extremely tough on her. It is your choice how much you support her with this.

Give yourself time and space from the situation.

[freakedthefckout]

I know a lot of what in saying is assuming because after they told me I was in such a state I didn't think to ask sensible questions, I just went mad!

All I know for sure is they wanted a baby, they have been to Cyprus and since they have returned she has been super tired! Now they are telling me she is pregnant! And the baby is due in February!

And one person commented and said to have ivf in another country if they are post menopause would be very costly and I doubt they could afford it. They would have enough money because they are weird that doesn't make them tramps that don't work. My mums husband makes a decent living and would spend his money on this as he desperately wants a child!

[StealthPolarBear]

I know what you mean but I think that poster was just saying it would be out of reach for the average person. That said its all about priorities isn't it and it sounds like that would be where they'd choose to spend their money

[AWombWithoutARoof]

If they have plenty of cash they may have also paid for the Harmony test which is done at 10 weeks I think, so they would know about possible Down's syndrome and other conditions.

[TheHouseatWhoCorner]

If your mum is pregnant, she will need help and support through the pregnancy and when the child is born. Do you think you could come to terms with the situation and be her support? Your DD obviously loves her and it would be a positive way to demonstrate compassion and family strength if you were to put your discomfort to one side.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Obviously none of us knows whether your mum is actually pregnant, OP.

However, I'm very concerned that your reaction on hearing the news was that you "went mad", shouted at your mum and said the baby would probably have Down's Syndrome as she is so old.

All in front of your DD, who you say is very close to your mum. Nice.

[freakedthefckout]

Changles - no I don't want to be there to pick up the pieces of a mess she created in pure desperation to keep a man that is younger than two of her children.

Yes she helps a lot with my dd and yea my mum and dd are very close, but I feel that the whole situation is so so wrong.

What about this child they are not giving a crap that this child won't have a mum for very long, that is so unfair and selfish!