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Original poster

Does the OW ever win the married man?

213 replies

Mintymoomoo · 22/12/2013 13:53

Ok so just a question, me and my friends had along convo about this.

Seems that the general view on this is that the other women never get the married man, the man just has the affair because he can and never intends to leave the wife..... I always used to think that to but after reading on here I'm not so sure, seems to be lots of women who have been left for the OW!

What you all think

OP posts:
LunchLadyWannabe · 22/12/2013 13:56

Well my friend has been having an affair with a married man, shes known him many many years, been having an affair for around 5 months.

Hes talked non stop about leaving his wife, suppose to be doing it after xmas....

However hes called her today and said hes not sure about leaving his wife because of his family (all his children have flew the nest) and hes now not sure what he wants.

I ve told her many times to get rid of him, but she wont.

LunchLadyWannabe · 22/12/2013 13:57

It think maybe its 50/50 whether they leave their wife or not

MorrisZapp · 22/12/2013 13:58

I've never met my FIL, he fucked off with OW before I knew DP. So it does happen.

Trigglesx · 22/12/2013 13:59

I'm just trying to figure out WHY the OW would want the cheating man. If he cheats on his wife, he'll eventually cheat on the OW.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 22/12/2013 13:59

'Win'?

What a prize Hmm

TheNightIsDark · 22/12/2013 13:59

My step mum did. Unfortunately got the married man he pretty much lost his children.

Backonthefence · 22/12/2013 13:59

They certainly can not all of these situations follow a script. Some when wont leave their wives, some do but cheat again and some leave and are very happy with the OW and their relationship lasts.

Lweji · 22/12/2013 14:00

I'm not sure winning is the right word.
Who really wants to "win" a cheater?

I think whoever gets him is the loser.

GoldfishCrackers · 22/12/2013 14:00

Not much of a prize.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 22/12/2013 14:00

It's a big wrench for someone to end a relationship, especially once you throw kids and mortgages into the mix, but it's relatively easy (and inexpensive) to keep an affair going. So I'd guess there are quite a lot of OWs being strung along... most of whom have the good sense to keep quiet.

SantasPelvicFloor · 22/12/2013 14:00

Win? No. It's probably that everyone loses when he infects more than one life

LunchLadyWannabe · 22/12/2013 14:03

Cogito

That is very true, divorces get messy. I think when as you say mortgages are involved etc, its alot of hassle to leave the wife.

purrforamincepie · 22/12/2013 14:06

Win.

Horrendous thread title.

Whatnext074 · 22/12/2013 14:08

What OW has 'won' with my H is a lying, cheating, selfish shadow of a man who has lost his dignity and integrity and a loyal and trusting wife and loving family.

They are both extremely high earners though so financially they will be sound for their future whereas I am left struggling financially.

I agree, a cheating man is no prize.

Idespair · 22/12/2013 14:09

Win - bit of a booby prize! But yes some ow do end up with the man, particularly when the wife chucks the man out and he has nowhere to go.

ScrambledSmegs · 22/12/2013 14:10

Win?

Well, some MM do leave for the OW, it's true. I don't think anyone's a winner in that situation though.

Original poster
Mintymoomoo · 22/12/2013 14:10

Yes should of thought about that "WIN" prob wasn't the best word to use, convo started as married friend has been having affair with a married man for 2 years, he is also indian so even less chance of him leaving.

In chat was very in depth and long and main view did seem to be that the married man never leaves wife but I think your right it's 50/50 and just depends on the person

OP posts:
Whatnext074 · 22/12/2013 14:10

Just to add, I think your thread title is a little insensitive, makes it sound like infidelity is a game to be won.

Original poster
Mintymoomoo · 22/12/2013 14:11

Indespair

Think your right, when the wife boots the loser out and he has nowhere else to go!!

OP posts:
Whatnext074 · 22/12/2013 14:11

X post

GobbySadcase · 22/12/2013 14:12

Well if they do they create a vacancy.

jerryfudd · 22/12/2013 14:13

Fil sodded off with his ow. I don't think she trusts him though (obvious reasons) and both have now taken early retirement and are glued to each other's hips

varigatedivy · 22/12/2013 14:14

Is this a genuine ask OP- or are you involved with a OM and asking for your own interests?

CinderellaRockefeller · 22/12/2013 14:14

My dad had an affair and left my mum for my now step mum. They've been together for about 15 years and are still happy.

We all sort of rub along quite well, I'm still close to my dad and mum (although separately).

I think sometimes it does completely work out for the couple having the affair.

jellybeans · 22/12/2013 14:14

I think a very low number actually leave. I know one person who was an OW and it lasted 10 years but was unhappy for much of it. She said it was like a movie romance at the beginning ahile they were sneaking around. I know one other person who is still with the OW after about 5 yrs. The think is though people always think of what they did when they think of them, it is always hanging over their heads like a dirty shame. the kids will grow up knowing/finding it out etc. is it really worth it? I read that 90% of MM don't go off with OW and feel that is probably about right. The affair is only great because it is escapsim. Throw in bills, kids, exes etc and you have as many, if not more, stresses as the first marriage.