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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I need to get laid

315 replies

fastdriver · 26/04/2013 14:37

That's it really.

I separated six months ago (after several sexless years). I was a faithful wife.

I don't want another relationship, I don't want to shag anyone else's man (either deliberately or inadvertently), I don't want to end up with genital herpes of anything similar.

I want a NS relationship that's mostly about sex (God I sound desperate Grin).

I'm fussy about men, don't like bald or shaved heads, beards, paunches or poor hygiene.

I'm 42 and reasonably attractive.

How do I make this happen? Most men are gagging for it, aren't they? It can't be that difficult but I don't know where to start...

Has anyone been in this situation or can give me any advice?

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 26/04/2013 14:47

This is what I need as well so I'll be watching the replies!
I totally understand.
I don't want a relationship and was almost there with a guy I know but he backed out last minute.
Hoping it will be re-arranged but not holding my breath.
We just need a good reliable f*ck buddy! Can't be too much to ask, surely!?

Original poster
fastdriver · 26/04/2013 14:53

Oh no!!! When I saw someone had posted I thought I'd get all the answers but it's just another woman's who's gagging for it Grin

No, seriously, thanks for the solidarity. I thought my thread title looked bad but I'm not alone at least.

OP posts:
VoiceofUnreason · 26/04/2013 14:56

Even if most men are "gagging for it" (which I don't think is necessarily true, actually), if you want someone around your age, ie, 42, then quite a lot of them will be bald or shaven headed, have a beard or stubble, and/or a paunch. You might be OK on the hygiene front.

Isn't the answer usually to use a site like Plentyoffish and look for guys wanting "intimate encounters"?

chocolatespiders · 26/04/2013 15:00

No you are not gagging for it. I feel the same I would love someone to have this with just every other weekend when dd is at her dads. Not interested in a relationship> been there done that and cant be bothered again.

OhLori · 26/04/2013 15:10

Well, are most men are "gagging" for it? Even if they were and so forth, they are hardly Torres (once handsome Spanish footballer). Not only that, but even if they look the biz they may be serious weirdos, or worse.

Not that I can't totally understand your desire to be engaged sexually, and also possibly re-assert your own sexual attractiveness, but be careful ...

hellsbellsmelons · 26/04/2013 15:13

Mmmmnn..... Torres! Now he would do nicely!
Maybe a bit young for me but I can do cougar quite easily.

Original poster
fastdriver · 26/04/2013 15:27

I quite fancy that Portuguese guy who manages Spurs...

OP posts:
chocolatespiders · 26/04/2013 15:40

I love Spurs- I will take any of the player>>>> need to be more fussy

spenceuk · 26/04/2013 15:55

ha you and me both

its been a while now since my stbxw had an affair with her boss and starting to feel ready to meet someone nice

Pinkyorkbunny · 26/04/2013 16:07

I'm sure my 40 year old brother-in-law would oblige Wink

Loulybelle · 26/04/2013 16:23

I aint had any in 4 years, only ever had one sexual partner, im nearly ready to find some nice young man to ruin me, FYI im only 30, its almost tragic.

spenceuk · 26/04/2013 16:26

Louly your only 30 its not tragic at all. Im 31 in a couple of months and its strange being single again.

There is a dating thread on here thats great help, i admit as a man i was a little wary asking advice on there but they have been amazing and i feel much more confident and ready than i did a few weeks ago.

AnyFucker · 26/04/2013 16:27

Erm.... I see a potential match up here Smile

Pinkyorkbunny · 26/04/2013 16:30

Louly meet Spence, Spence meet Louly...I'll go dust of my wedding hat Grin

Pinkyorkbunny · 26/04/2013 16:31

That was meant to say off goddammit

Loulybelle · 26/04/2013 16:34

Pink, you can borrow mine, i've suffered 2 weddings of my siblings in 2 years.

Madamecastafiore · 26/04/2013 16:35

Louis Spence!!!Grin

CuChullain · 26/04/2013 16:35

OK, will probably get flamed on here by the moral guardians but here is my $0.02

Many moons ago I was several months out of a particularly unpleasant break up and although I was on the mend and largely back to my old self I was still not in the mood or indeed ready to get involved emotionally in a relationship, but I was horny as hell. Having had a fairly lively sex life before I was climbing the walls having not had any 'action' in over half a year. I did not want to join a dating site as to me that meant the possibllity of leading women astray and people getting hurt when they find out you want a slightly more casual encounter. Most of the mainstream sites have a 'just friends/companionship' options for your profile but that still seemed a bit opaque and vague for my liking. So I took the plunge and joined a sex contacts site

I was not really expecting much luck as it seemed to be about 90% men so the odds were not in my favour! But I pressed on and started to email some interesting local women and to my pleasent surprise got some replies. After exchanging several emails with one women and chatting on msn we got to know each other a little and indeed generate a bit of trust. Yes, the profiles can be quite explicit in terms of the more 'niche' activities as you have the option to list your 'interests' (anal, dressing up, dogging, oral, S&M etc etc) but at least you are being honest with each other. We agreed to meet and it was just like a normal date, we met at a wine bar, she was a professional, smart, very funny and sexy women who was in a similar situation to me. We ended up becoming 'friends with benefits' for the next 18 months. We only saw each other maybe once or twice a month, and it was not just clinical sex, we would go out for dinner, watch a film, go to the theatre, generally have a laugh and before having mind blowing sex later that night. Its not for everyone, but for the pair of us, right there and right then it was just what we needed. We were very honest with each other with regards to our feelings and nobody got hurt as we both knew that although we got on very well there was not quite the 'romantic' chemistry that would have made a long term relationship unlikely. We knew it would not be for ever and sure enough she ended up meeting a guy who she really did want to get romantically involved with so we parted company. By that time I was actually ready to get back on the wagon and ended up joining match.com. It is possible.

There are lots of timewasters on these sites and lots of married/attached people although they are easy to spot after a while. If you have the patience there are some normal fun people to meet and have fun with and you get to 'scratch that itch' without anyone getting hurt

boyfromipinema · 26/04/2013 16:36

Just so happens I'm a Spurs fan so does that gain me any brownie points?

spenceuk · 26/04/2013 16:37

you ladies are going to make me blush

Loulybelle · 26/04/2013 16:38

boooooooooooooooo spurs,

Pinkyorkbunny · 26/04/2013 16:41

Torres no, no, no Frank Lampard all the way Grin

Oh hang on I forgot I'm supposed to be happily married Wink

Loulybelle · 26/04/2013 16:43

I used to have a crush on Edwin Van der Sar and Gary Neville.

Before anyone asks, yes i do have a strange taste in men, but it gets better, Michael Fassbender and Jason Isaac, mmmmmm.

AnyFucker · 26/04/2013 16:49

cuch, a flaming can be arranged if you really want one

Did you list that as one of your niche interests ? Wink

ItsYoniYappy · 26/04/2013 16:52

Have you tried POF? Sorry if it has been mentioned but I met used a few men on there.

I could have had 2 dates tonight but I have a new book. Feel fat today and cbarsed!

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