I feel like such a... perv!

[GoldieMumbles]

I've just ordered myself a

chastity belt

DH often goes away for work for a couple of days at a time - sometimes more - and I really get turned on by the idea of being strapped in... so I've ordered a chastity belt and next time he's away I'm going to ask him to lock me into it... So I feel like such a perv. But I suppose I am... aren't I?

And he doesn't know about it yet, either. Yikes!

Just got my nephew back to sleep, read this, laughed too loud and woke him up again! Most surreal thing I've read tonight! Good luck to you OP, I can't think of anything less sexy than holding in a poo for a few days in a metal contraption, but there you go!

Believe that OP has an engineering degree; maybe she's going to turn said chastity belt into some sort of Heath Robinson contraption that will fire up kitchen appliances, feed the kids, make toast, etc., while hubby is away!

Sootikins!

Well I have never...

Lol pigpies

Perhaps if the OP needs to do a poo she could send a pigpie out to steal the shiny key and remember its way home to bring it back?

Why is it shaped like a mouse? Can you google image it? (scared to)

I don't believe that a sootikin is a real thing. The top google result is urban dictionary and all the rest are warnings not to google it. It's a made up think to gross people out like munting.

eau it was talked about in history books mentioned on this MN thread

Thanks for the link. I think I'll read it after I've finished eating breakfast!

Pigpies

loudest laugh for this.

I too am dubious about sootikins - it's possible, but even the source talked about on that thread seems to just be 'my friend's mum read a book once where it was mentioned' or similar.

We need a proper reference.

I think it was probably just a poo. Maybe popping out of the wrong place due to childbirth damage? But it sounds like a poo.

BOF