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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Missing condoms

288 replies

calidadsuprema · 25/01/2013 23:52

Hi - namechanged for this.

DP and I have been together almost 3 years. We moved in together a few months ago.

Over the festive break I was looking in the medicine drawer for a sticking plaster and came across about 4 condoms tucked in a paracetomol box. We don't use condoms. Date on them was 2014. I assumed DP might have had them since before we met so said nothing at the time.

Fast forward to tonight - my DD felt unwell so I went to medicine drawer for Calpol sachets. For some reason I remembered the condoms and had a look for them. They are missing. DP is 3 days into a 10 day overseas work trip 8 hours time zone ahead. He doesn't usually travel overseas with work. I have put 2 and 2 together and don't like what I am thinking.....I sent a text about half an hour ago to tell him what I have found, saying that it does not look good from where I am standing.

OP posts:
dequoisagitil · 25/01/2013 23:56

There's no purpose for a condom.

dequoisagitil · 25/01/2013 23:56

other

frustratedworkingmum · 25/01/2013 23:58

could he have thrown them away?

deleted203 · 25/01/2013 23:58

Oh dear. It doesn't look good. But the best thing you have done is to text him and confront him rather than burying your head in the sand and then driving yourself insane with worrying about it. You need to hear what he has to say before you do any more. Good luck.

calidadsuprema · 25/01/2013 23:59

DP has just texted back to say that he had picked up the paracetomol for his trip and has the condoms (unused!) with him. Says he is vv happy to be with me and loves me. Genuine??

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 25/01/2013 23:59

condoms with a date of 2014 would have been purchased in around 2011/12

I have some from 2011 that have 2014 date

deleted203 · 26/01/2013 00:02

Yes, I would think so. It sounds like an honest mistake. I would put it out of your mind and trust him, unless you have had doubts over his faithfulness before. I would just say, 'ok, I believe you' and perhaps discuss it further when he returns. It's perfectly reasonable in the circumstances to ask him why he took them, and even why he has them if you feel the need. They may be old ones.

MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 26/01/2013 00:03

Does he normally take parecetamol with him while travelling? But then again if he needed condoms, surely he could have bought some over there? What country is he in?

DeafLeopard · 26/01/2013 00:03

YY to shelf life of condoms. It doesn't necessarily mean an affair as I've heard mention on MN of a posh wank

ArmyOfPenguins · 26/01/2013 00:03

Why would he have taken them to the new house and then thrown them away?

He's cheating/planning to.

chewingguminmyhair · 26/01/2013 00:04

Using them for a posh wank?

sarahseashell · 26/01/2013 00:04

why were condoms in paracetamol box in the first place?

ArmyOfPenguins · 26/01/2013 00:05

Sorry, x post. Hopefully he'll bring all four back then.

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vigglewiggle · 26/01/2013 00:06

I would check the date on the condoms he brings back.

frustratedworkingmum · 26/01/2013 00:07

I just googled and the shelf life of condoms seems to vary from company to company but some, trojan being an example Hmm last up to five years.

What bugs me is tht they were in a paracetemol packet and not just in their own packet. But if i were hiding condoms from my partner id not leave them in the medicine cabinet so......... it depends on how much you trust him. Do you have chilren?

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:07

The posh wank theory might fit...he does admit to wanking on UK overnight business trips....

OP posts:
frustratedworkingmum · 26/01/2013 00:07

WTF is a posh wank?

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:08

Frustrated - we do have kids, but none together. His teens visit and my DD (10) lives with us.

OP posts:
dequoisagitil · 26/01/2013 00:08

Wanking into a condom to save mess, is a posh wank.

sarahseashell · 26/01/2013 00:09

but why were the condoms in a paracetamol packet?

and don't they normally come in 3s or 12s?? Confused

I'm a bit Hmm that bringing these same 4 back proves he hasn't cheated! he could buy them out there

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:09

I'm presuming a "posh wank" is a diy job into a condom to avoid mess??

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:10

Posh wanking is a myth, perpetuated by those who make excuses for unfaithful men

ArmyOfPenguins · 26/01/2013 00:11

Men don't have posh wanks.

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:11

OP, the condom thing could be innocent, but "posh wanking" it ain't

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