Missing condoms

[calidadsuprema]

Hi - namechanged for this.

DP and I have been together almost 3 years. We moved in together a few months ago.

Over the festive break I was looking in the medicine drawer for a sticking plaster and came across about 4 condoms tucked in a paracetomol box. We don't use condoms. Date on them was 2014. I assumed DP might have had them since before we met so said nothing at the time.

Fast forward to tonight - my DD felt unwell so I went to medicine drawer for Calpol sachets. For some reason I remembered the condoms and had a look for them. They are missing. DP is 3 days into a 10 day overseas work trip 8 hours time zone ahead. He doesn't usually travel overseas with work. I have put 2 and 2 together and don't like what I am thinking.....I sent a text about half an hour ago to tell him what I have found, saying that it does not look good from where I am standing.

[Charbon]

I wonder why you didn't mention finding condoms in a paracetomol packet when you found them over Christmas? Or why you didn't ask him whether he wanted to dispose of them?

Like others, I wonder whether subconsciously even, you had a sixth sense that they would be missing when he went away.

[SaraBellumHertz]

I'm amazed how many posters have not said he us cheating.


There is only one use for condoms: sex. If your DP is purchasing them whilst you are in a relationship then he is cheating or planning to.

On the off chance these condoms predate your relationship then since you as a couple have never used them the obvious thing for your DP to do is not tuck them in a box but through them away - why on earth would he keep something you don't and have never used?


Beyond that taking them away makes no sense at all. 4 condoms don't easily fit in a paracetamol box containing actual paracetamol so again a neat freak would bin them at this juncture.

I'm sorry OP - I'm usually pretty good at giving the benefit of the doubt but this scenario stinks

[SnowBusiness]

Tell him you wrote down the serial numbers

[prozacbear]

I'm on the fence ...

On the one hand, I can completely see this scenario happening, as I am in possession of old condoms! God knows when I bought them (I don't remember it but clearly I must've done), certainly more than 2 years ago, and I've no intention of using them! DP and I are about to move in together, and I've just packed them without even thinking about it (I am a hoarder, perhaps your DP is too?). If DP found them, he'd be very ... which reminds me, must go and throw them away.

On the other hand - the fact that your DP's condoms managed to migrate with him on a business trip is a bit worrying. If he takes paracetamol regularly, surely he'd have happened across them by now and thrown them away? Where does he think they came from? Condoms don't just appear from the condom fairy - does he recall purchasing them, truffling them away?? It's just a bit too much of a condom story, iyswim. Were I you, I'd check them on his return, try to verify they're the same ones.

[meditrina]

Well, unless he has used all 4 already, then they will come back as he now knows OP knows.

[maleview70]

Bit far fetched to think he would put them in the medicine box and then decide to take them without even thinking you have noticed.

Any bloke who was thinking of cheating would surely just buy them at the airport...wouldn't they?

[BranchingOut]

On the one hand, I know of someone who used condoms by himself, as he 'enjoyed using them'.

On the other, it is a bit strange that he didn't open the paracetamol box before he went, as generally you would just check how many tablets were in there before going.

[kittybiscuits]

Posh wank....do me a favour....rolls eyes!

I think it's possible there is an innocent explanation OP (which definitely won't involve a posh wank). Did you indicate to your partner that you counted them and know the expiry date? If not, keep that to yourself and see what he brings back. If he 'throws them away' you have a problem.

medtrina he's already been away 3 days so had ample time to use them and OP knows the expiry date.

Hope it's all innocent OP x

[Xales]

Agree with meditrina. If he was planning on cheating he may not have yet. Nothing to stop him buying others and bringing the original ones back. You may never know now.

Did you have any doubts before?

[meditrina]

kittybiscuits that's 3 days out of 10. So still 7 (including weekend) to go. Who knows the timetable? Or if there is one at all.

I tend to agree with maleview70 that he'd buy at the airport and chuck away any unused ones, rather than leave ones at home.

[ImperialBlether]

This doesn't make sense.

If the OP's partner suffers from back pain and regularly takes paracetemol, then that implies that the paracetemol box was relatively new. Also, there is no way he wouldn't have counted the tablets beforehand because he'd struggle if he didn't have enough.

I'm sorry, OP, but I just don't believe that he's not using the condoms. If he's a neat freak and they were old, surely they would be in their own box?

[arthriticfingers]

Another 'condom' thread !? What's the betting this one, too, will just fizzle out?

[MadAboutHotChoc]

This thread bothers me too

I can understand people having condoms at home for emergencies (e.g if one forget to take the pill etc) but why take some with you on a business trip.

A neat freak would have left behind the condoms - while packing, he would have checked the box and removed anything that would not be required.

[MadAboutHotChoc]

maleview70 - you would be amazed at at how basic many cheaters' slip ups can be. This often happen when they become complacent.

[AnyFucker]

Still wobbling between "dodgy" and "could be an innocent explanation, at a very small pinch" here

although, FWIW, ibuprofen is better for back pain than paracetamol (it being an anti inflammatory)

a regular back pain sufferer should know that

[kittybiscuits]

And/or stingy!

[SorryMyLollipop]

Posh wanks definitely do happen. My STBXH did it a few times when I was in the same room as him. We lived together for 16 yrs. He was very loyal and there were never any suspicions of cheating,missing condoms etc so it was never used as an excuse. He just enjoyed it. I think he enjoyed the fantasy build up to sex. Some men do, some men don't.

Saying it doesn't happen because some men who you've asked don't do it is just ignorant. It does happen.

OP, talk to him when he gets back and listen to your instincts.

[BelaLugosisShed]

Hmm, I think there may be a condom thread fetishist to go with the Poo Troll.

Every few months, regular as clockwork and never, ever resolved.

[Missbopeep]

But the OP and this guy have only lived together for a few months.

Question is- did he know that she knew the condoms were in the cabinet?

OP- when did you "find" them?
Do you never check your medicine cabinet?
Have you never needed paracetamol since he moved in with you- or you him? Whose home do you live in?

Are you living in a home which he had which pre-dates your relationship?

For me the concern is not so much why they are missing now but how they got there in the first place- and when.

[calidadsuprema]

Thanks for all the replies. DP called the house twice this morning while I was out and he eventually got me on mobile.

He said he understood why I was upset and worried but that he just threw a few things from the medicine drawer in his washbag. He totally gets how bad it looks from my point of view.

I asked why he had condoms in the first place he said that they predate our relationship. I do have some in my bedside drawer which date from the very start of our relationship which I bought in anticipation of relationship with him - never got used as I am on pill and have IF issues anyway....stupid I know from STD POV but that's history now.

Re why did I not mention them before when I noticed them at Xmas - I just assumed that he (like me!) had some in stock at the start of our relationship. Its the fact that they ended up with him on the business trip that is bothering me.

I don't really use the medicine drawer for my stuff - generally keep mine in my bedside drawer. But we do keep "family" meds such as calpol/suncream/piriton etc in the medicine drawer so he knows I go in there.

It was difficult to talk fully about over x thousand miles and 8 hours time diff - I was pulled over in car and he was in a shopping centre noodle cafe. Will talk more fully once he gets home.

[calidadsuprema]

Missbopeep - we moved into a place that is new to both of us. We are renting and I still have my own home - renting it out.

[Missbopeep]

I think he is being honest.

He wasn't to know if you knew what was in that packet all the time it was in the medicine chest- was he?
So it would be a very foolish man who took condoms which his partner knew was there away with him.

Especially when you can buy them in most loos, garages, shops etc etc.

[calidadsuprema]

Missbopeep I am giving him benefit of the doubt for now. I agree that if someone wanted to cheat and hide it from their partner they would get condoms from elsewhere.

[AnyFucker]

I am a notoriously unforgiving bugger with a highly tuned twat radar

I think there is room for doubt here, and have felt it from the beginning of your thread.

I would still say you have played a blinder in hanging on to your property though. Don't sell it for a while yet.

[calidadsuprema]

AF - no intentions of letting house go! Thanks for input