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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Missing condoms

288 replies

calidadsuprema · 25/01/2013 23:52

Hi - namechanged for this.

DP and I have been together almost 3 years. We moved in together a few months ago.

Over the festive break I was looking in the medicine drawer for a sticking plaster and came across about 4 condoms tucked in a paracetomol box. We don't use condoms. Date on them was 2014. I assumed DP might have had them since before we met so said nothing at the time.

Fast forward to tonight - my DD felt unwell so I went to medicine drawer for Calpol sachets. For some reason I remembered the condoms and had a look for them. They are missing. DP is 3 days into a 10 day overseas work trip 8 hours time zone ahead. He doesn't usually travel overseas with work. I have put 2 and 2 together and don't like what I am thinking.....I sent a text about half an hour ago to tell him what I have found, saying that it does not look good from where I am standing.

OP posts:
calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:11

sarah, yes the paracetomol box thing is confusing me a bit. He is a bit of a neat freak, so fitting things into boxes not to have them scattered through the medicine drawer would be his thing

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:12

My medicine cabinet has random things wedged into different boxes to keep it all tidy

SwedishEdith · 26/01/2013 00:13

Ask him for the expiry date?

newbiefrugalgal · 26/01/2013 00:14

Dodgy

sarahseashell · 26/01/2013 00:15

ok and could be 'hiding' from dd I suppose - but if you don't use them why is he keeping them? perhaps for emergencies if you're on the pill I suppose.. did you use them at the beginning of the relationship or has he had them over 3 years?

vigglewiggle · 26/01/2013 00:15

He could buy more out there, but he has had 3 days when he didn't know he would be rumbled. If he bring back 4 unused condoms, but with differing use-by dates then she has her answer.

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:15

AF, that's what he does - e.g lemsip sachets in with sticking plaster etc. He does need paracetomol right now for back pain. We have been v happy since we moved in so this is a it of a shock to me.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:17

I do that, cal

you said the work trip was unusual

what do you mean by that ?

do you think he might have engineered a jaunt somewhere ?

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:18

I am on pill and have infertility issues as well (pill for endometriosis). Embarrassed to admit we never used condoms even at start....not smart I know.

OP posts:
calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArmyOfPenguins · 26/01/2013 00:20

If he generally puts different things in different boxes, would he not have checked that the paracetamol box actually contained paracetamol before packing it?

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:20

No, not smart. But not really the point here.

Will you ask to see the 4 condoms on his return, cal?

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:21

Who else is on the trip ?

dequoisagitil · 26/01/2013 00:21

Look, it's simple.

Do you and dh need condoms?

Is there any plausible* excuse he needs condoms?

  • plausible is dependent on what you can forgive.
VoiceofUnreason · 26/01/2013 00:22

As others have said "posh wank" is a total myth.

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:23

Yes, I will check on his return. Have been through a difficult divorce in last 4 years so thought DP one of the good guys - so far he has been fantastic...but feeling a bit confused at the moment

OP posts:
chewingguminmyhair · 26/01/2013 00:25

Yes, men actually do posh wanks. They really do. It's an option.

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:25

He is not on trip with anyone he works with. He is in quite a senior role in his industry and has been asked on trade mission by economic development agency for our part of UK

OP posts:
dequoisagitil · 26/01/2013 00:25

I have a feeling that my plausible, will not be yours.

ArmyOfPenguins · 26/01/2013 00:26

"For some reason I remembered the condoms and had a look for them."

Did you have a feeling something was not right?

VoiceofUnreason · 26/01/2013 00:26

chewinggum - I'm a man. I don't. And when this came up once before, I asked around. None of my mates had even heard of a posh wank.

chewingguminmyhair · 26/01/2013 00:27

Not everyone is a cheating arsehole (as much as some posters on here like seem to think they are)

sarahseashell · 26/01/2013 00:27

OP my heart goes out to you- you need to be able to see him and chat with him and have-what- a week till he gets back. I hope you're okay. Could be a mix up who knows

SoggySummer · 26/01/2013 00:27

3 years ago would tie in with 2010 for a possible purchase of condoms. He may have used some before he met you. He may have mislaid some before he met you.

When I say lost - if a single bloke carries a couple of spare condoms in his waller, jacket pocket "just in case" then after time they will become crap - get lost damaged - may even be crinkled up in some pocket somewere perhaps?? I liken it to a tampax in my handbag - some are destined never to be used and chucked in the bin as they get damaged in the bag.

I think this is genuine if there was nothing before this to make you suspicious.

calidadsuprema · 26/01/2013 00:29

Army, no issues, just thought about it when I was in medicine drawer. I have a pretty good memory so it flashed into my mind.

OP posts:
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