Missing condoms

[calidadsuprema]

Hi - namechanged for this.

DP and I have been together almost 3 years. We moved in together a few months ago.

Over the festive break I was looking in the medicine drawer for a sticking plaster and came across about 4 condoms tucked in a paracetomol box. We don't use condoms. Date on them was 2014. I assumed DP might have had them since before we met so said nothing at the time.

Fast forward to tonight - my DD felt unwell so I went to medicine drawer for Calpol sachets. For some reason I remembered the condoms and had a look for them. They are missing. DP is 3 days into a 10 day overseas work trip 8 hours time zone ahead. He doesn't usually travel overseas with work. I have put 2 and 2 together and don't like what I am thinking.....I sent a text about half an hour ago to tell him what I have found, saying that it does not look good from where I am standing.

[PartTimeModel]

Fantastic & well played cali

[BelaLugosisShed]

Yay, a condom thread with a resolution, first time ever I think.
Good news Cali.

[AgathaF]

Good outcome - I'm pleased for you.

[Abitwobblynow]

Brilliant ending - because for me the importance lies in that you talked to him, - and he listened and took you seriously.

With that dynamic (the only thing I wish for) you can solve anything. Humans make mistakes - partners care about eachother enough to solve them.

[MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot]

Don't ignore your true gut feeling because you want this to be the truth - listen to what your gut is saying. I hope it's saying he's telling the truth but if it's not you need to act on it and not sweep it under the carpet.

[MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot]

I wouldn't put too much weight in the 'he looked me in the eye'. Been there, done that - eventually became an ex as my gut instinct was right and he was fucking seeing someone else - whilst looking me in the eye, telling me he wasn't :(

[BagCat]

Great ending!

[abbyfromoz]

Really pleased for you

[newbiefrugalgal]

Glad you are happy OP.

However I'm a little confused. Did you know they were in the ziplock bag?
I think if we knew early on they were in a bag like this rather than him just grabbing a box of pracetemol that he had earlier tidied up and put condoms in, wonder if everyone here would have been as suspicious?

[LittleEdie]

Phew!

[TheCatIsEatingIt]

Relieved for you. :)

[MumVsKids]

This is the type of thing my DH would do, just grab random stuff.

Glad it's a good outcome op

[AnyFucker]

OK. Sounds feasible to me.

[calidadsuprema]

AF..he was calm and listened to how I have been feeling...seemed to understand my fears. No trying to belittle my worries...genuinely feels like an idiot for grabbing a ziploc bag from the bathroom drawer without checking in detail what ut contained.
He continued to unpack as we chatted and he was completely unfazed when I scanned through the pile of receipts he has brought back.

[AnyFucker]

Ok. If you are happy with the outcome, that is all that matters.

Does he understand why you are upset, though ? Tried to make you feel bad, or got unduly angry with you ?

Did his explanation for having them in the first place, and for why he took them with him, tally with what you felt was feasible ?

Did he try and tell you it was for posh wanking ?

[kalidanger]

Phew

[calidadsuprema]

I challenged him to look me straight in the eye and tell me there was nothing sinister about taking condoms on trip. He is either genuine or a vv good liar. He also went into his luggage..he was unpacking at time..and pulled out another washbag with suncream, travel wash, lemsips etc and there were the 4 condoms I saw at xmas...all dated aug 2014. I think I will give him benefit of doubt. His body language looks genuine

[AnyFucker]

any news, OP ?

[claire96]

If they are dated 2014 and you have been together around three years wouldn't he have bought them around the time you got together? Could they have been meant for you?

[PartTimeModel]

Good question Doris! Did he take the paracetamol (from the UK) that he returned with ON TOP of the paracetamol that was actually condoms? ie he took paracetamol, ibuprofen AND condoms all from home/UK?

Or did he get to destination, discover paracetamol was actually condoms, & go and buy paracetamol locally for back pain?

Still none of this proves anything, and if he was shagging around he can buy condoms anywhere ..............

[DorisIsWaiting]

If there are boxes of paracetamol and brufen in the bag are they uk brands? Only because he originally said he had taken the box by accident?

Hope you get some sort of sense today.

[MadAboutHotChoc]

(and the posh wank thing is NOT relevant to this thread but my DH had never heard of it)

[MadAboutHotChoc]

I agree with TheCat 's last paragraph - trust your instincts but if you think there is a good chance he is innocent, drop this subject unless something else comes up.

[BadLad]

I haven't tried a posh wank, and my male friends were astonished by the concept, for the most part. One or two had heard of it, but said they hadn't done it.

[TheCatIsEatingIt]

DH says every bloke has tried a "posh wank," but he wouldn't expect someone to take condoms away to do that. Putting them in a paracetamol packet and picking up the wrong packet, he thinks is very plausible. (He is both very tidy and quite scatty, and takes regular painkillers when his back goes, so can see himself doing this).

I can see him finding the condoms, thinking "d'oh!" and throwing them out without it occurring to him that I'd be suspicious, or in your case putting the phone down and chucking them just thinking "I don't need them, if I don't have them they can't upset Calidad again".

If it turns out that he has been unfaithful, you'll get lots of great support on here, but don't let the fact that this thread's got so big make you more suspicious than you need to be. We're all thinking how we'd feel if it was our DP/DH, but it's not, it's yours, and if you've no other reason to mistrust him, this probably isn't one either.