Missing condoms

[calidadsuprema]

Hi - namechanged for this.

DP and I have been together almost 3 years. We moved in together a few months ago.

Over the festive break I was looking in the medicine drawer for a sticking plaster and came across about 4 condoms tucked in a paracetomol box. We don't use condoms. Date on them was 2014. I assumed DP might have had them since before we met so said nothing at the time.

Fast forward to tonight - my DD felt unwell so I went to medicine drawer for Calpol sachets. For some reason I remembered the condoms and had a look for them. They are missing. DP is 3 days into a 10 day overseas work trip 8 hours time zone ahead. He doesn't usually travel overseas with work. I have put 2 and 2 together and don't like what I am thinking.....I sent a text about half an hour ago to tell him what I have found, saying that it does not look good from where I am standing.

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

Smells a lot like shit to me op sorry.

[tackies]

But in fairness if he picked up the paracetmol why didnt he just throw the condoms back in the drawer. sounds very fishy to me. Id be tearin him a new one when he comes home!

[rhondajean]

Tackles I think the point was he grabbed the paracetamol packet not realising Thr condoms were in it at the moment.

If he returns with all condoms, with same date, in the packet, I'd be tempted to let this one go. Especially. He didn't use condoms with you at the start of the relationship, I wouldn't be thinking that having them with him would be a high priority.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

But if he wanted condoms he could just buy some and bring the paracetamol ones home... if he wanted to cheat on you, OP. Listen to your gut feeling.

[Isitme1]

Just sounds like he forgot the condoms were in there.
If he was cheating I would of thought he'd be more defensive and that but will know more when hr gets back
X
Good luck
X

[YouSayWhaaat]

DO NOT tell him the expiry date!

When he brings then back you will then know whether they are the ones he went out with or replacements.

Not conclusive proof of course cos if he is also this devious he might twig you know the expiry and use new ones.

Could all be innocent though.

[CalamityKate]

Hmm.

What usually happens in this house is you go to the paracetamol packet and someone's used them all up. Therefore I would NEVER just chuck the box in my luggage/bag without checking what was in it. Your house might be more efficient though!

[ImperialBlether]

That's what I thought, Kate. I need to take them and would always check that the packet was full. If he has back problems, I'd assume he'd do the same.

[SaraBellumHertz]

There is no way he didn't know the condoms were in the paracetamol box.

Paracetamol boxes are thin these day - you're no longer able to buy bumper boxes so three condoms would have been obvious and there is no way someone would take condoms they didn't need on a business trip.

Especially not a neat freak

[hestonbloomingdale]

Firstly "posh wanks" are not uncommon. Guys are not going to admit to each other that they do this but they do.

In this instance I don't think that is what is happening. Nor do I think your DP is actively using condoms with someone else:

a) they are too old
b) if he really knew he was going to need them he would buy them at the airport or wherever.

These are "fantasy" condoms. Loads of guys have them, they are are old, from a previous relationship or earlier in a relationship. Basically they don't get thrown away and end up being taken on stag weekends or in this case a business trip that your DP never usually gets to go on because you never know, yeh right!

He has packed them in the event that the 22 year old gorgeous girl from the Virgin ad has upgraded him to upper class and by chance she is staying in the same hotel as him and is going to shag him senseless. In other words it ain't going to happen.

Don't fret or let anyone here make you think he is playing away. However in future don't give him the heads up by texting him in advance, no matter how big the temptation. Just in case I am wrong.o

[Beckamaw]

I have just asked DP about the 'posh wank' scenario. He said:

"Having sex with a condom on is better than not having sex, but it's a bit like eating a sweet with the wrapper on.
When a bloke has a wank, it's not like in porn films where it sprays everywhere. You just need to wash your hands afterwards.
I'd imagine some young lads have done a 'posh wank' once, for the experience. You wouldn't do it more than once though".

So that's his analogy.

However, in this case it sounds like it could well be innocent. Unless he arrives back with 4 totally different condoms.

[PartTimeModel]

The prob for me is if he was regularly using paracetamol for back pain, he would have known this particular box contained condoms and not medicine IYSWIM.

And he wld have checked to see how many tablets were in box before packing it to take away. If you need meds for back there is no use packing a box with 2 left. You would check surely? And there knowingly take condoms not paracetamol.

[AnyFucker]

heston you don't have much respect for men, do you ?

[SaraBellumHertz]

Af or indeed the partners of men if that is the sort of behaviour heston expects women to put up with.

I can confidently say if my DHs explanation for carrying condoms was he was only going to use them if the woman was really attractive the he'd be out the door

[FellatioNels0n]

I think his story is entirely plausible. Just not very likely.

But then if you have only been together a few years and the condoms last that long, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that the condoms pre-date your relationship being serious. I'm saying this because you've been together a relatively short time. If you'd been together 5 years or more then he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

[peedoffbird]

Trying to be positive about this but the phrase "no smoke without fire" keeps popping into my head. But then I've been cheated on a fair few times so am not the best to judge. End result is that he is away on a business trip in possession of condoms. If he is a regular user of paracetomol then surely he would have known that that box contained something else. Where does he normally take his paracetomol from? I hope I'm wrong.

In his favour he would be pretty stupid to leave condoms he was expecting to cheat with in a place used by both of you regularly.

[BadLad]

Never heard of posh wanks before, and wouldn't do them. What's the point, when a common wank feels better and spares you the expense of a condom?

[Jemma1111]

I believe he is definitely cheating on you OP.

If those condoms predate your relationship then that means the paracetamol box would be out of date also . He's hardly going to shove old condoms into a new medicine box is he ?

He's bound to bring the original condoms back now he knows you're on to him !

If I were you I would not buy this story at all but would let him think I had . I would then be searching for more evidence of him cheating , if you do this I'm sure you will catch him out .

[Numberlock]

OP - you will probably have to resign yourself to never finding out the truth about these particular condoms. If he brings them back it proves nothing; if he's already used them and can't bring them back, he could easily say he threw them away. (Obviously if 4 different condoms come back there's a whole other discussion to be had!)

However, tell us more about this business trip. You say he doesn't usually travel overseas with work - as in never? Once a year/once in a blue moon? Who is he visiting - does his company have offices in this country? Or is it customer visits? A trade fair? When did he find out he'd have to go?

Also, going off the time difference, is it Thailand by any chance?

If I was going to play detective, I'd be looking at what he'd taken with him (eg how many work shirts to cover a ten day trip; laptop; business cards; company brochures) and what he brings back (eg business cards from new contacts he's made out there) and what hotel he's been staying in.

[NewOldParent]

As a fella, I can assure you we do!

And I have absolutely nothing in my closet (well, apart from a few missing condoms)

[Numberlock]

But do you take condoms with you on a business trip when you're in a relationship?

[piratecat]

you wouldn't take them would you, on purpose. If he grabbed the pack of paracetamols innocently thinking they were paracetamols, then it seems innocent.

[Astelia]

You don't pack a box of meds for a trip without checking how many pills are left in the box.

He knew what was in there, but the purpose remains a mystery.

[Numberlock]

According to Freud there's no such as an accident...

[carmenelectra]

Maybe I'm a suspicious cow but I would think bullshit.

Firstly, I would have asked about the condoms when I found them in the paracetamol box. Why weren't they stored in their original box? To me, that looks like they were deliberately hidden. Also, were all the tablets taken out of the box as surely condoms wouldn't fit too?

If I had been with a man 3 yrs I would definitely have shown him the condoms and asked why they were there!

Then the business trip and his need for painkillers for his bad back. Now wouldn't he have checked how many were in there as they may have only been 2 left! If I'm going away on holiday I would buy a new box of tablets not take half a box out the cupboard as if I needed regular pain relief I'd need at least a full box. If I did take some from home I'd at least check how many were there.

Now I'd be looking for those condoms when he came back tho he may not have had chance to use them before OP txted him. So I guess its hard to find out if he's telling the truth unless he doesn't bring any back.

As for posh wanks. As if. Who would want to deliberately lose sensation when they don't have to.