The thread in which we all pray Johnny depp has signed up to POF - DATING THREAD 17!

[watchoutforthatsnail]

Here we go again....

Also, mr ill clearly isn't better than anyone else you have met, becwuse hes just messed you around, and showed you no respect in doing so. Someone who was nice woyidnt do that. You deserve someone nicer than that. So don't feel upset about some man that showed no respect.

Feeling lonely. Urgh. Don't touch. In fact if anyone is married, jusy dont respond. You are under no obligation to resond or be nice to anyone you don't want to.

Leuji, Woooo. Wow, that sounds good :)
So, recapme, tell us all about him. I woyidnt panick too much about the Oct thing. Possibly he was just tryjng to find out your interest levels, mr l said to me after the third date about this band in dec... And that we should go bevagse I would love it...

123, I would stay miles away from your old fwb and second the advice you have already had

but then if it is all down to chance, I could carry on for another 4 or 10 years, or however long, and still never get a second date let alone a relationship :(

and mr ill didnt mess me around at all. he was/is ill, that wasnt his fault, and he did want to see me. I can only assume from the fact I havent heard from him in the last 3 days he now doesnt, and I'd like to know why. But short of asking him I guess I wont find out...

sponge, i second all that watch has just said..it so is a lottery!

Sponge, yep, but It's unlikey to be that long. The more people you talk to, go out and meet, the higher the odds of hitting it off with someone. You just need to keep getting out there.

I think he did mess you aboyt a bit, and certainly if he was texting on Sunday but didn't fix a date, is sort of messing about. You could bite the bullet and ask him out this weekend..... But I wouldn't ask him why.

I had about 50 first dates that I didjt get offered a second one, some I know why, because I later found out they had literally just split up with someone else, or were in love with someone else, etc...none of the reasons my fault. You need to stop blaming yourself...

I am a little sad today. Just friends messaged me a few days ago asking how I was and what is going on with the ex did we sort things out etc? This morning I picked up a blanket that we snuggled in.
I decided not to message back (pat on back for me)

Now I have decided against dating, I get asked. Grrr. Nope, not going. Happy enough single. (convinces herself she doesn't need a man)

Last night I put little man's bed rail together and my mate (male, but known for about 21 years) goes that I need a man to put it together. So an hour later I l messaged back saying men have one less use. They are running out of uses fast. Lol. (we have quite a bit of banter.)

I'm just not convinced. the more time that passes the more unlikely &/or impossible it seems. Before I started all this I had such good intuition about men. I always knew who liked me & who didn't, I knew if I met someone whether I was likely to ever hear from them again or not. Now I honestly don't have a clue.

I just feel like I've wasted 4 really important years & have nothing to show for it. I've lost my chance to have another baby, I doubt I will get married now either. All pretty :( really.

MLM, as I told ex at some point, the only reason he was living with me was the emotional relationship, and given that he was living there, then we was supposed to contribute to the partnership.

Because, as it has been proven, a man is not needed around the house, other than as a life partner.
And certainly not for DIY.

Exactly. Me and my mate wind each other up. We make each other smile when times are tough.

sponge don't you ever give up!!! EVER. you are a wonderful beautiful woman, and the only reason you dont get second dates is cos they know they aren't worthy of you. There is someone out there for you. I just know it.

It hurts when you put yourself out there only to get no where. But if you don't give it a go you don't know. Do not give up!

Sponge, how old are you?

Unless you are menopausal, you can still have another baby!
And if you don't, you already have one child.

Maybe you do need a break and get out in the world.

I watched an interesting video the other day, about making ourselves available to a relationship. (or at least to "attract" men)
It was about noticing men around us, letting ourselves open to be approached and making time for it. Such as going to meet friends 30 min earlier, not take a book/phone/whatever if alone.
(although, I was sort of chatted up once on the train because/or in spite of (maybe just an excuse for conversation, who knows?) I was doing Sudoku - sadly I was married. The guy turned out to be a science journalist, with a PhD, and if I was single I'd have asked for his number myself...)

Please don't get depressed about it, and try to be happy in yourself and with your friends.
You may be surprised.

Sponge, where is this rule that if you.are alone at 40 you will be alone forever? My.mother got married at 52!!! Have a look on my fb... Album entitjed ' may- wedding and other things' it was glorious, sheooked fab and they have a wonderful marriage.

So, you might not have another child... Id have liked more too, never planned to have an only. But, it is what.it is. You need to be pleased with what you do have :)

I am 40. Yes, it's not out of the question now, but it becomes increasingly unlikely the older I get (I have several friends my age and younger who are having real difficulties TTC). I have 2 children that's true, but I always intended on a 3rd - I left my Ex in part because I wanted another baby but not with him.

I am out and about all the time, as much as it is possible to be with a full time job. I am lucky in that I have lots of friends to socialise with. I do meet men in real life, but with as little success as online.

I tried taking a break from it all for an entire year in 2010 (decided online wasnt for me and I would meet someone in RL instead). I met absolutely no-one.

I'd like not to feel depressed about it, but year after year passing, and nothing changing, never getting a second date, is horrible. I think anyone would feel down in my position.

sponge are you only attracted to a certain age range??

I am wondering if you are limiting your opportunities by only going for younger men for instance .. perhaps widening your acceptable age range a bit might open up more possibilities to you?

My BIL is 55 and is pretty fit and became a father for the first time at 48

I think we can understand why you are down about it.
But
Really, I do think you put too much pressure on yourself about it and that's not helping, and certainly not making you feel any better.

Having a boyfriend really isn't tge be all and end all. It really isn't.

I would also suggest maybe looking outside your usual type. Few dates with some different types. You might be surprised... If you go for personality traits rather than looks ( thats the only thing I did different with mrl.... )

And I don't but that anythibg is unlikely.. if you want something, you keep going until you have got it, you know :)

I have a 20 year age range (10 years either side my own age) on my profile. Both men I have dated recently - and all the others who cancelled/disappeared etc - were my age or older....

And, because I am excited, we have tickets to the proms/ a prom/ not sure of the terminology... At the Albert hall next month :)

I know what you're saying re different types, but as I never get any reply to messages I send. I'm rather limited to whoever messages me. I only rule out the rude, pervy or totally stupid, whats left aren't particularly different to each other in type, but theres not much I can do about that really.

There must be other types than just one, there has to be.

What about trying okcupid? Thats free.

I messaged my Mr VN, btw.

But most other guys that I messaged barely replied or not at all.
It was pure luck. (or not, as time will tell... )

I was also using a site that evaluates personality compatibility. And his had given a very high score regarding values.

sponge with regard to another baby, my mum had me at 41 and wanted another, sadly within the year my dad was seriously ill and two days after my first birthday was diagnosed with throat cancer. He survived a further three months before passing away.

Anyway my point is never ever discount anything. Life changes so fast I never saw myself as a single mum abs getting divorced at 23, don't think any of us did though.

Should add my dad was almost 58 when they had me.

Never give up

Ok, Sponge, checking out your competition and looking for inspiration for your profile:

www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=41844243

Also:

www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=31499406

Not:
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=38850540
But interesting NB

Also interesting , but with an appropriate motto for you:
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=29320242

And please tell me you are none of these

Lueji that has cheered me up! What with this and the cat buttering thread in chat I now feel surprisingly chipper :)

I can confirm I am none of the above profiles btw. Although the one from Essex looks familiar, she probably used to hang out in the same pubs as me

That's good.

Now remember, you are at the top of the tree. :o

Thanks to you, and Watch, and MLM, (and indeed everyone on the thread at one time or other) btw for putting up with my whinging. I am something of a stuck record at times. Have decided starting tomorrow that even though I still feel I'm going to be single forever, and that there IS something wrong with me, I'm going to really try and be positive, and have a week where I don't end up in tears at least once. Or certainly not more than once.

:)