The thread in which we all pray Johnny depp has signed up to POF - DATING THREAD 17!

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Here we go again....

Scatty I'm sorry, as someone who hasnt managed a second date (and not that many first ones) in a whole 4 years I'm not really in any position to give advice!

Can only say if you do think its affecting your self esteem though, maybe hide your profile for a few weeks, and put it back up when you're feeling more positive?

I am on the verge of hiding mine tbh, I feel overwhelmingly tired of it all tonight, and the likelihood of meeting anyone seems as remote as ever.

Hi everyone, can I rejoin? I was posting here under a different name, but decided to change my name when I started a thread on here about having a high sex drive. And a dad who is still married started messaging me so if anyone wants to know who I am, private message me and I will let you know

Now that's out of the way... I went on a date with a nice guy Friday during the day, I now think day time dates are better as I don't get drunk and sleep with them!

Also been chatting with another guy in Pof who wants a friends with benefits, and I am thinking about meeting him! The guys that want relationships seem to want to rush into them and I am so in need of some action right now!

I do have a fwb already, but he pissed me off the other day and I'm not going to sleep with him for a while as i felt he wasn't making me feel satisfied and even found it amusing that I was in serious need of sex and was implying he was going to meet me then didn't!!

So this new guy said he is about 10 inches and I really need a new fwb. But it's taken me years to be comfortable with having a fwb and new my other one for 9 years now!! as sometimes feel like I might be getting used but at the same time need it

So should I meet up with him? Or does it seem too forced?

Hi Movingforward:) cant see the harm in meeting up with the 10 inch guy, daytime meeting sounds best so that you can go away & think about whether you want to take things any further with him.

As has been said many times, nothing wrong with fwb so long as you are on the same page..and drop him if he takes the pi$$

Witholding sex like that (your other fwb) is manipulative...not to mention stupid cuz it's way easier for women to find no strings sex..I say drop him and go else where.

He'll be laughing on the other side of his face when he's had to go without sex for ages

If you know what you want 123. Then go for it! Reading your post just made me feel you're bored with your usual fwb, this guy has sparked an interest, meet him and see what develops. :)

As with the nature of Internet dating, my three dates seem to have dwindled to no dates. [shrugs] I bought a fucking fab dress today as well, so firmly their loss and I shall waste it on PM .

oh I wasn't really thinking of meeting the potential fwb in the day time, but maybe I should only problem is he lives quite far away so might be a bit of a mission to meet just for coffee... But I was going to let him kow that I wouldn't be sleeping with him on the first time we meet. (even thought I might change my mind)

also yes my old fwb was being manipulative, but I guess he wont go without sex as he is in a relationship, and I am practially his bit on the side . As I said i have known him and been sleeping with him for 8/9years on and off. (when I was in a realtionship didn't sleep with him) but we have always been in contact. and since i have been single about 2 years he has been working on getting me to be his ow, and now that we have been having sex regulary for a while he thinks he can play games.

really is a good time for a new fwb.

snape - get online and find someone new to wear your dress for and who is PM?

you know this new fwb guy doesnt really ask me any questions about myself, but i have been asking him questions... that seems selfish...

123. You deserve more than sloppy seconds sweetheart. He's in a relationship. All he can give you is what he has leftover. (sorry, that sounds harsh...)

Pm is platonic man. I stupidly hanker after my best friend. :( idiot that he is. :)

Sounds kinda convoluted 123..

I'd be inclined to let the new guy be the one who does all the running/asking Q's, I mean act a bit disinterested until you meet him

infact always act disinterested in the interests of keeping the upper hand.

( I dont do relationships..I only do power games :o )

Ok I've set my profile to intimate encounter. I'll let you know what happens.

Hatesponge, I had an encounter not that dissimilar to yours. I met a bloke from pof and he was way shorter than me. I mean in height and in stature. I had a drink with him but definitely didn't fancy him at all.

So he text to say he really liked meeting me and I text back it was nice to meet him too in a non committal way. I then text ' I want to come over and fuck you'. Eeewww.

i assume I'm not attractive to men at all. I am tall, not skinny, I've got strange hair that never grows and I'm ungainly. However I was at a military function Friday in the day with my friends and her mum. I was eating my lunch, packing it down as you do when friends mum turns and says ' there is a lot of men clocking you in here'. I never noticed one. Maybe she was just saying it.
Just goes to show what we don't see.

I think I'm ok for dating Hatesponge but I'll hide if I'm getting wobbly.

Reporting on second date.

We met near where I take my ferry home (not uk), in a nice place (lots of sunshine for you uk amphibians ) with a river view and live music.
Anyway, managed to talk about current situation with ex, and got closer physically.
Kissing was a bit awkward, but at least I didn't gag. :o

So, he took me to the ferry and, predictable, one of my best friends was there. Doh. We had agreed to be discrete, so we parted with kisses on the cheek. Tbh, I'd have outed myself as I think he was not fooled at all, anyway.

I have just been on the phone with him and there was talk of going to a concert in October. :)

Now I'm getting worried it's going too fast.
But at the same time it's very relaxed and he doesn't leave me guessing.

I fell asleep and forgot to set my profile to IE.
However, I seem to have a coffee date Friday with someone of pof. He seems ok so far. Nice looking, interested.
Half of me doesn't want to go as I fear the rejection afterwards. Is that normal? Whether I like him or not I still feel I'll at the thought of the dreaded 'thanks but no thanks text' or being simply ignored.
However I will persevere
I've also been thinking about a fwb thing but I'd find the no emotions tricky. I'm a bit too needy to expose myself. But maybe in time I could.
Lueji. Whoah. The concert in October does sound a bit forward!That's months away.

I'm seriously thinking of hiding my profile. I'm just not sure there's any point. I can't see myself getting a second date whatever I do, or don't do. 4 years of nothing makes it all seem pretty futile. I keep thinking it will change sooner or later but really it never does. Maybe it's time for me just to accept it.

Sponge, what's brought this on? Last week you were all excited and feeling positive. You had a good date, the guy wanted to see you again. So, you could have had a second date if you wanted to.
You chose not to ( I would have done the same) but you cant bemoan the lack of second dates, saying you cant gey them, when last week showed you can.

Ive been single as long as you, couldn't see how it wouid change, and I was having 2/3 first dates a month!!!!! But now ive been seeing someone for 2 months. You just have to keep at it, develop a thicker skin and not have any expectations of a first date, further than getting through the first dste.

Snape- huh, what happened?

Am meeting mrl for lunch sex :)

SCATTY:make it casual and dont take it serious in that case even if theres rejection or being ignored you dont feel hurt.
SPONGE:dont give up be strong.
I genuinely feel sorry for this guy on okcupid:
HIM:hi there i am quite new to this site and i have looked at your profile you seem nice and genuine which is rare on here i have found.please take a look at my profile and f you are interested then i be more then happy to send you more details about my situation..hope to hear from you soon
take care .
Checked his profile:married with kids.
ME:sorry not looking for married guys
HIM:hi thank you for the reply can i send you my reasons for beiing on here so you can understand a little more about my situation?
ME:go on then
HIM:hi. thank you well let me start by telling you a bit about my situation..my wife has aplha one whch is similar to c.o.p.d and effects her lungs she has had an operation to remove most of her left lung and thiis has left her very breathless and has restricted our sex life to nil..i would hope that any relationship would be of a good friendshp as well as being sexually iintimate when it suited you without any pressure from myself to meet up i am self employed so can meet daytime or evenings..i am looking to meet just one nice lady as i have been married for many years and not looking to be sleeping around with loads of different women..my wife does not want to meet the lady i may be seeing but is happy to chat online at anytime should you wish to.if theres anything else you need to now then please just ask
ME:sorry but not into married guys.
i feel sorry for him if this is true but will never get in relationship with a married man,i dont want to be second best.

Feeling lonely. Wow: I think what strikes me is the heaviness of the post. Dating is meant to be fun and breezing, not a arrangement with a serious illness thrown in.

Sponge. Let's compare as we go along. I struggle to get a first date let alone a second. Im beginning to think I'm not as attractive I I think I am. But I still think I'm cool and that's what matters. Has the ill bloke vanished?

Feeling. You are so right and lighthearted is the way forward for me. I get so few responses that I may be slightly hysterical in my lightheartedness but I'll give it a whirl.

Yeah, Scatty, but tickets would only be bought mid August, so plenty of time to decide. And it would be going with friends.

We are meeting again today because it will be very difficult during the rest of the week.
And I'm going on holiday next weekend for 2 weeks. So, let's see if we survive till the end of it first. :o

But it's nice to know he is thinking more long term.

The curse of Internet dating happened... Disappearers and flakes! No matter, I have developed an incredibly thick skin. :)

Very good point, Watch.

Sponge, it's not your inability if you reject the guys.

But I know what you mean about not meeting someone you want to know and who wants to get to know you further too.

Why don't you leave your profile, but don't bother with it for a while and if you get any messages, then just follow them up?

Feeling lonely,

Do you seriously believe him?

I don't even bother replying to a man listed as married, let alone get sucked into a sob story.

feeling re the married guy, he'd be better off with a married woman in the same situation..imo

feeling lonely. I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole. He's basically after an unpaid sexual therapist/prostitute. Doesn't matter if it's true or not, not your concern.

I agree, you'd end up feeling like an unpaid sex worker!

watch I see what you're saying and I know you rarely got a second or third date before Mr L, but i never get one, its not that it hardly happens, it's never happened in 4 years. As to the one from Sunday, well he blatantly just wanted a shag - his comments after made that quite clear. Had he got one on sunday i'd never have seen him again. So I don't think he counts even if I had wanted to see him again (which I didnt even before I knew that was all he wanted).

I honestly thought I'd see Mr Ill again (he asked, & indeed we arranged it twice before he was ill but had to cancel) and we were texting over the weekend, and it was mentioned but nothing arranged, but now I've not heard a thing from him since Saturday so it looks like thats all gone to crap. And I cant see where I went wrong there, I really cant, it was all so promising. He was so much better than anyone else I've met online which just makes it all the more disappointing.

Maybe I'm too easily defeated but nothing seems to change for me however much effort I put in. I've accepted every date I've been offered in recent weeks (even though its only actually amounted to 2 dates, because there was that guy who cancelled 3 times, and the another 3 who asked then disappeared). I dont know what more I could have done, but the outcome remains the same. I have another 2 dates this week, but I suspect they may vanish as well. And one for next week - likewise.

I just want to know what I can do to change...I dont think it can be as simple as just a numbers game, I really dont :(

he obviously thinks his sad story will make me give in to his desires,am looking for a man i can call my own not a married man.he is just after a sex.
sponge:he is a looser onward onward.

But it is a numbers game. And a bit of luck.
Like the lottery, some people can play for years, not getting more than the occasional £10, and then someone buys a ticket on a whim, and wins.
It is not you. It's nothing you have or haveht done. And I cannot keep repeating this, you need to stop blaming yourself or looking to yourself for the reason.
These men, we know nothing about them, or what their intentions are, some might just want to date, and try their luck with a ton of women. And some might want a relationship, but it doesn't follow that because you want a relationship, and they do, that it will be with each other.
First dates suck, and have a high failure rate, because its a cold calling type thing, first time you havr met. Pre internet dating this woyidnt have happened. A first date would be bevsgse the guy realky quite liked you. With internet dating they happen for much more casual reasons.

So, mr ill hasn't been in contact, well, fuck him you win some you lose some. But don't be down about it. There is no reason to be, you only spent a few hours with him.

And yes, lots of them disappear. Happened to me all the Fuckin Time. You just have to keep at it, stop blaming yourself, enjoy it for what it is, and not expect anything more from the first date.

Also, lunchtime sex rocks.