Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

I think you should see mr. L. :)

might be delayed. dont know, will have a chat about it on saturday over post- hot, sweaty sex exercise dinner.

yeah. i am seeing mr L.

Tonight and tomorrow :)

hes coming over to mine when DD is in bed. Hes a little apprenhensive about that fact, but ive assured him it will be fine. And its that or nothing, because i cant get a sitter this week.

Can i ask a question... it is 'normal' isnt it? to want to see someone as much as you can in the beginning?

not that i dont want to see him. im just as bad.
And am most pleased ill be seeing him for 2 nights before i go away.

Yes it is very normal :) Well I think so anyway :)

And were it not for Mr Nice having more of a concern about children who would wake up (and tbh I get the jitters about that too) then he would come here rather more often I think. Am seeing him at lunchtime tomorrow which is my only free day in forever and will be a round trip for me of at least 1.5 hours but I Need to see him . And he just called and as he is working late tonight he was going to go home early on Friday but instead is having a two hour lunch break tomorrow with me :)

And he also sent a very very lovely email. Am in a generally happy mood here .

Where are you going away to ?

we did lunchtime yesterday, well, he took the afternoon off, so it was a bit longer, and until dd came home from school.
cant have any lenght of time until i get back ( and by lenght of time i mean more than 3 hours, which goes past in the blink of an eye) so, its just grabbing few hours where we can.

same as you tomorrow! Have a fab time.

Im going camping. well, glamping, with fairy lights and bunting and table cloths and candles and wine. and bbq's and stuff. South east coast. campsite on the beach. Will be fab, goes without saying its going to be sunny every day :)

I am having a spoilt brat moment. Weds seems ages away. And I won't hear anything from my date til Fri cos he's at work for the next 2 days and can't have his phone on. Meh.

I need a slap with the fish.

On the plus side, it is distracting me from thoughts that the date will be a disaster...

The date will NOT BE A DISASTER!

[wetfish]

thank you!

My thoughts re the date at present are:

1. I wont fancy him. Judging by his photos, this is highly unlikely. Unless he has changed dramatically since they were taken. Which I don't think he will have.

1. He wont fancy me. From comments he has made about my photos, also unlikely. And I am told I look like my photos (and he's seen ones taken this week so couldnt be any more recent) so that's ok.

1. We won't get on. Going by our text and email conversations, and when we spoke on the phone, that is also unlikely. I mean, we might not hit it off but from what's happened so far, we will.

Which all adds up to the scary possibility we might like each other and I might get a second date. Or even a third. Which is almost too scary and unlikely to think about

Can i come on here to have a cry about something completely not dating related? Its only i have sorta got to know you guys? Please?

Whats up MLM ? We wont chuck you off the thread for talking about non-dating related stuffs, lord knows i wang on about everything but dating half the time.

Two things now. I checked my hotmail account cause i had sent a message to a church yesterday to find the number of a grave of an old friend who died at the age of 13, i have been to the church yard but not been able to find the grave itself, so now i have the number and in a way it feels like this is it, this is the final goodbye, i am scared, i dont want his grave to be a mess like so many of them there are, and i dont want to somehow forget him, for the last 16 years (he was in my sisters class) i have carried him around with me, inside my heart always using the excuse that i never got to say goodbye, and lay him to rest in my heart, so why now do i feel so reluctant to do so?

Also cos i checked my hotmail account which is linked to my old hacked facebook i found a message on there trying to find someone i used to know, so i of course stupidly opened my old facebook to message them back, and guess who else had messaged me, MY GOD DAMNED EX!!!! With a load of shite to be honest, does he not get the message that i will not go back? They were messaged in the last 24 hours, so he is obviously still getting on my facebook and assuming that i am still using it, although i am not.

So upset and angry right now. And what do i take to the grave?

Sorry.

You take to.the grave what you choose to take to the grave.

Firstly your ex, screw him. He knows just what to say to get to you & he is reaching out to continue to hurt you. Choose your attitude (personally, I'd go with 'anger') he's being a tit, just let him continue being a tit. I hope you didn't respond.

I'm so sorry about the dead friend. His grave might be well kept, it might be overgrown. I couldn't find my mind grave once (the cemetery hadn't put the stone I distance-bought on her grave) if it makes you feel better, take some gardening gloves and kitchen scissors & a bin liner & tidy it up if necessary. If its all.lovely, take some flowers & say goodbye. I don't believe in an afterlife, but I do believe in respect. Your friend would not want you to carry them as a burden memory, but like an occasional firefly in your heart. Say a fond goodbye, don't dwell on how unfair it is to be taken so young, but have a smile & light a candle every so often. :)

I haven't responded, and i wont, though was thinking of a non molestation order cos this is just getting ridiculous. It is over 7 months since i left FFS If i was going back does he not think i would have done it by now? Honestly. So yes very angry.

I just want my friend back, and i want those summer days back, when life was so good and everything seemed so easy.

Sorry to be so full of misery.

Hmmm. Weird.

Mr l was a bit less lovely. Seemed very frustrated in a sexual way, past maybe what im comftable with at this point. He then had to leave in a hurry to get the last train. Said he probably wasn't coming tomorrow but to have fun if he doesnt speak to me.
Bearing in mind we have been constantly texting and speaking on the phone daily.......

So, I feel a bit unsettled.

I then get a text saying ' thanks,, you are great'

To which I didn't respond. And then one a few mins later appolgising for if he was mean in word or deed, But hes not used to sofa sex and hopes I have a good night..

I haveht responded.

Something doesnt sit right.

Plus he made two inappropriate comments about other girls while we were shagging. One being how ' all girls' like to grind when they are on top, but do it to high up. Secondly how good I taste, and how once some girl tasted awful so he got up and left. Not nice. I'm not impressed with either thing.

What do yoh all think? Idiotic man or red flag?

Watch Is he having "going too fast" collywobbles like you slightly were the other day? Maybe distancing himself very slightly because you're going away?

The stuff he said about other girls was probably meant to be a compliment - men can be very odd like that.

The "thanks" thing would bother me the most, though. I fecking HATE being thanked for sex, and it's amazing how many blokes seem to say it.

I don't get what you mean in the frustrated in a sexual way. And what does he mean, he 'probably isn't coming tomorrow'? You had a date, didn't you?

Fucksake, men can be such dicks.

I genuinely don't know what to think. He might just be having a twat day. They do that sometimes, don't they?

Hope you're ok. I read this thread every day, and have been following your story for months. Don't be disheartened x

watch that does seem a bit weird. Maybe he is worried that you going away will mean the relationship will just "fizzle" out like you were worried about before, or maybe he is scared of actually falling in love with you

Men are weird! I would wait and see what happens tomorrow. I cant stand being thanked for it either....its like i am doing them a favour.....no i am doing it cos i enjoy it too!

Maybe message him back asking if there was anything wrong?

No, I.don't think so. It almost seemed like he couldn't leave quick enough.

He wasn't meant to come today, it was meant to be tomorrow. But he asked to come both days and then as he was leaving said probably not tomorrow now.

I.don't know.
Doesn't sit right.

Though I've just had texts sppolgising etc.... Im not sure.
He did this before the second night we had sex, went all weird......

If its a regular occurance then I'm out. I'm not going to put myself in a situation where I'm.second guessing someone..

Hes said.sorry for being bruquest, demanding snd impatient with me. Which he Was. Ive told him he made me feel a littke cheap.
Hes not yet replied.
Possibly won't do.

Sponge I want to give you a shake!! I've read the whole thread .. you are so negative about yourself!!!

Might he be playing headfuck games? You know, like you're going on holiday and he's going all weird and distant so that you miss him more? Because if that's the case, you need to know he's like that before you carry on. I couldn't handle it personally, I've had one of those and I nearly ended up rocking in a corner, with all the second guessing.

Know what I would do? I would ring him. And ask him what the fuck is going on. Yeah, you'll probably feel a bit of a knob, but I would rather know.

Sera, yes, we had a date. Now not it seems. Which is fine, and if he asks I'm.going to say I'm.sorry but I'm.busy..

He was rude and rough with me. Not in a nice way. And unexpected face slap which has pissed me off and crossed a bit of a line frankly. And then he came ( on me) and then instantly tried to penenatrate me and I was.confused, so he went limp And then blamed me. Again not nice.
It wasnt nice throwing around..it was a bit, well, disrespectful and slighkty aggressive.

I shall wait and see what he does..still haveht had a reply to my text..

No..I'm.Not.going to call.him

It's up to him. He's said sorry off his own back..I. dont need to ask, actions speak louder than words.... Few days will tell..

To be brutally honest, in my younger years I would do stupid stuff like this - going cool without explanation, suddenly not being available when I said I would be before. Then when the bloke in question did not respond with the distress and anguish I was hoping for, I'd scrabble around apologising and trying to make it all better.

Very trying for him, to say the least.

I wonder if that's what'd going on here. Does he strike you as being insecure at all in any other way.

Oh and, sorry to be so personal but you mentioned it before, is him not coming still a problem/issue? Because he may be getting frustrated at himself rather than you.

Wow. Really??? Is this like a complete sexual personality transplant? He sounds like he's angry with you. Who the fuck is he to be angry with you?

And now he's not replying to your text either? Wtf?