Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 5

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

If your dentist is unsympathetic would you consider going to a different one? He shouldn't get annoyed about you being jumpy - a lot of people are jumpy at the dentist, most people bloody hate going and get nervous no matter what their background.

Hard to get NHS here he doesn't accept new ones except kids

Thing is there's no real reason for me to be feared of the dentist.

Fear of the dentist is very common among abuse survivors - it's to do with loss of control and feeling "invaded." I can handle going to the dentist but afterwards I always feel very tired and shaky - it's like it takes a huge effort for me to get through it but I don't realise it until afterwards. Some of the abuse I suffered involved my mouth so that's part of it.

Cailin I can understand that but the abuse I endured was penetrative sex plain and simple nothing else except touching

Test please ignore

Part 6

Hi guys I'm going out for a while and the thread is approaching the end so I started part six (link above) so if this thread fills up before I'm back, move on to that one please.

I've posted about dentists before, I am one and I wanted to say that although your dentist shouldn't be snappy with you, it's really stressful treating nervous or jumpy patients and to be honest, if a patient jumps when I'm treating them I probably jump even more in response.

If a patient says to me "I'm really jumpy, if I want you to stop I will put my hand up but otherwise if I jump please ignore me" or something like that it makes the absolute world of difference. Perhaps you could talk to him about it? Write a letter or something? Don't forget taking a blanket can make you feel better.
I'm rubbish on this thread as I don't know how you all cope but I just wanted to try to help.

Thanks for your input Grumpy :)

I don't get jumpy at the dentist I just zone out and I think some dentists find that odd but I would never explain why.

I'm not jumpy as such just shaky I saw the hygenist first and she asked about any meds told her I was on stuff for anxiety and she was fab. Hopefully that will be in my notes as I don't really want to explain myself to him don't know if its same confidentiality as a dr.

Having crazy thoughts of taking some sominex and going to bed after the sleep I've had lately so tired.

Why not do that dotty?

Well, the notes should form part of your medical history that is seen by all of the clinical staff, it's so we can build up a picture of things that can affect you, i.e. some antidepressants give you a dry mouth, ant malarials give you mouth ulcers etc etc so he should see it but you could always write down what you're takling & just give it to him rather than have to say it. Seriously probably half of the NHS patients I see are on anxiety medication or equivalent. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Go to bed lady!!

How dangerous is an absess?

I have freeze syndrome and just lie there crying unable to breathe. It's a flashback driectly related to the abuse but my current dentist and special clinic aren't willing to allow me to go just for a "get to know" the place visit. I need to do that to find someone I'm comfortable with/trust enough to hold my hand, literally

So now I'm stuck with an absess from a tooth I've broken. I'm on antibiotics but just want to pull the tooth out and won't be seen as I'm making a fuss

Grumpy how common is it for 8 year olds to have root canal treatment (I'm in bed resting)

mashed well the problem is that the infection will always be there, sometimes it stays there and just flares up every now and then, occasionally it comes out of the skin (like cheek) other rare times it can cause complications like cavernous sinus thrombosis or septicaemia type problems. Sadly people still die in the UK from these problems but they are RARE. You can ask for a referral to community dental service who are used to people with big dental issues but you will have along long waiting list or you can try to find someone who will actually look after you. The problem is I'm afraid that dental practices are businesses and it's hard for them to have a time when the chair isn't occupied as they lose money hand over fist. I know it's rubbish but its a fact of life I'm afraid. That said I'm sure you can find a practice who could help you by asking for recommendations or phoning round?
Not much help I'm afraid.

dotty well I would say it's quite rare on a baby tooth but not too rare on an adult tooth. Give us a bit more info and I can help hopefully.

Broothers Daugghter they live on crap and sweet stuff is ever flowing but nothing to do with that according to himm.

Well if a child has decay that goes into the nerve of a baby tooth, sometimes it causes infection or an abscess and we can do a pulpotomy or a pulpectomy which removes the nerve/kills the nerve & gets rid of the infection until the tooth falls out, if it's a baby tooth we would only root fill a front tooth on a child really although I have done a back tooth of a 16 year old, otherwise the roots aren't fully formed and you have nothing to fill against because the end of the roots are too wide. It's complicated! Sweets and crap are so awful for children's teeth, I must admit to finding it a bit depressing!

Thanks Grumpy, have been trying to get it sorted, not nhs either, just live in the country, will need to go to the city unfortunately, have found a specialist clinic there.

You sound like fab dentist though.

My mother is the biggest fucking liar on the planet, gavel.

sorry for the derailment.

Hello, have kept away as have been feeling self involved. Not so much anymore. Good evening all.

What's happened mashed?

evening Offred, almost the end of the thread, part 6 link uppa thata way ^^

One at a time ladies and gents, red carpets and vip status this away :o

Sorry I'm new to this but really need advice - I'm at my wits end. My daughter was abused 10 years ago in a horrible way. It went on for a year. To cut a long story short it all got to court and although it was her words against his he was found guilty and is now in prison.

She won't talk to anybody about it - no counsellors nor me. I AM seeing a counsellor. She won't sleep in her bed - falls asleep on the sofa and goes up to bed when I get up in the morning. She's practically left school - given up on exams and does not know what to do next. She's 17 now. She doesn't really have any hobbies and needs to control everything in the house! It's driving me mad. She has a prt time job and goes out to that fine and works well. She does nothing at home except sit around and mess on her iPod etc.

I REALLY do try to understand her but it's almost impossible as she won't talk to me.

I am not well and need a hysterectomy soon and have been in hospital 3 times in the last 3 weeks. We all also moving house in 4 weeks. Stress, stress and more stress!

My 14 year old daughter is a pleasure but I just can't get through to the 17 yr old at all. She needs to start making decisions NOW about what school/college/course she's going to do in September but she's kind of 'lost her way'. She was diagnosed with OCD a couple of years ago and is SO stubborn in every way. The entire house centres around her most of the time.

I feel at a loss as to how to motivate her and how to understand her. I admit she's driving me mad but feel like a real hound for saying that.

I am a sinlge parent too so have battled through this alone.