Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 5

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Mashed my dr prevented me from the breakdown put me on meds i was so fucking close but couldn't see it at the time

I was on meds

I'm off to bed now, night all. Offred I hope you manage to talk to your DH and that it goes well.

Good to see you around again Mashed, catch up with you tomorrow hopefully x

Night Cailin off to bed myself knackered but the palpitations are back fuckety fuck my life sucks ATM.

Yes, have. He held me quietly until I could speak. He is lovely.

My mother is probably a psychopath, ds and I have been brain/psychology bashing all day and thats where we've ended up after using his advance higher psychology knowledge and my defunct brain and our dear old friend google.

Bizarrely(sp? cba) neither of us are, although we've labled each other as crazy demented fools, poor kid, and tried on lots of hats.

Still can't decide wether to wait for her to turn, it will be with little notice, or burn all the stuff. She still loves him.

Oh well.

Dotty :( Did you manage to get any sleep?

Sounds like it went well Offred, how are you feeling?

That's quite a scary thought Mashed. How do you feel about it?

Exhausted. Numb. Sorry.

Sorry for myself!

Cailin slept eventually its getting to frigging sleep again had some bizarre dreams involving my so called family. Need a kick up the arse to get moving again made an early start first wash is in and done ironing as for rest of house don't go there usually its spotless.

It's ok to have an off day dotty. Do you prefer being active or would a quiet do-nothing day help?

Want to talk about it Offred?

Cailin i've only done the basics for about 2 weeks not dusted or done floors for over a week

was great when I was getting up at 3 as floors washing and ironing was done by 7/8 am instead of 10am

Oh dear I'm a super slattern then because it's at least three weeks since floors were done and dusting only gets done when I suddenly realise the shelves have turned grey

Do you enjoy keeping the house clean or do you put pressure on yourself to do it?

I get a buzz from it but also the fact our house was always a mess growing up.

Need to blitz boys room as he was looking for his phone and has pulled everything out, don't get me wrong when kids where littlies I worked as well and I did try, kept it clean and tidy but toys where everywhere.

Am on another thread ranting about the camerons

idiots

please excuse me for a while

coffee for you all xx

and getting stoned for it. isnt MN wonderful

MN at its best sensible adult debate.

How's it going everyone? Was just out with DS. It looks like it's going to rain but I'm really hoping it's not - we need to get to town this afternoon so I can renew my passport - blagggghh. I absolutely hate paperwork, so much so that it makes me feel sick thinking about it. I have to get this done fast but I keep procrastinating .

I'm on a coffee break done all upstairs bar DD2's room refuse to do that shithole

Also have dentist in a couple of hours oh joy.

I really must go to the dentist, I haven't been in years. I had maternity exemption last year and I still didn't go!

Is it a checkup you're going for dotty?

Yes went 6 months ago and my nerves where shot I'd gotten over the fear years ago but its back its the fact he's behind me also seeing hygeinist got start of gum disease nice

I used to be ok with the dentist too, partly because I had braces for years and so had to see the orthodontist regularly but in the last few years I've stopped going. It takes a lot of effort to work up the courage to go.

He used to get right snappy about me being jumpy esp if a check up don't know if I should say something usually asks if I'm on meds and if I'm healthy always ill now never used to be.