Willard Harley (a man) is about the only counsellor who takes men to task for their misguided and chauvinistic attempts to 'protect' their wife by staying silent and not talking about their hurts and resentments (of which there are many, and which SHOULD be taken seriously).
The two main resentments: that they go to work and bust their balls all day, and this is taken for granted, that the male struggle in the workplace is not understood.
That they lose their intimate partner on the birth of the children, that that relationship comes first and they and their needs for attention, closeness, praise (see above) are ignored.
Now, we have to keep that in mind because actually it is true. BUT to get back to Harley, he says, if you do not talk to your wife and think that she will collapse in a heap if she hears anything painful, you are underestimating her strength AND you are also not giving her the information she needs to negotiate and adjust.
So, getting to the 'symptom' of the marriage, the wife only gets to hear that he might have some disatisfactions when her world is blown apart.
And she is blamed? For his inability to communicate, and she has the responsibility to resolve the damage of his 'solution'? All I can tell you, is that from years back I bust a gut trying to talk to my H. But you can't talk to someone who won't acknowledge any problems or turns it back on to you.
FFS the first person to say 'it's the woman's fault' was Adam. It is profoundly unfair to make women responsible and required to control the outcome.
Why don't we just join the Saudis and Afghans and hang raped women.
Willard Harley talking about adultery on YouTube is quite an eye opener! He says it is so damaging and so traumatic, that he would like it to be made back into a criminal offence! That people are jailed for causing much less hurt in other crimes!