Anyone seen the new MN section on surviving an affair?

[Dozer]

The info on there does not accord with the advice oft given on here.

I don't like it, smacks of pleasing-your-man.

I am utterly discombobulated by Mumsnet at the moment.

First the Posh Homes Swap for the filthy rich only, and now this!

It doesn't feel like somewhere I belong (even though I am screamingly middle class, boycott aspartame and shop in Waitrose).

I think there's a tension between the talkboard itself and the use of the talkboard to generate raw material for what seems to be a kind of would-be online women's magazine. It's the difference between women talking to each other in the refreshingly raw and unmediated way that it was the site's excellence to facilitate, and women's voices being captured and presented in a mediated form, which is the age-old stuff of a certain kind of journalism.

Its rather sad really that Justine et al can host such worthwhile boards, where posters give and receive great support from other people who have been through affairs and relationship breakdown, AND NOT LEARN ANYTHING from them.

A bit scary really, or maybe they just didnt read their own advice before it got posted

I just honestly feel its a bit odd that mnhq appear not to really know their users and think they can sneak in these questionable extras without an ensuing hoo-ha. Or perhaps they like the hoo-ha?

Its nice of you to feel sorry for them Hully. I think they are all cnuts!

JOKE!!!

Well of course it's a bit rubbish, but I always end up feeling sorry for whoever's on the end of a mass kicking, however deserved.

They're good eggs really, I'm sure there's a cock-up reason...

I think it's an expansion problem. New editorial staff who don't necessarily come from the fold of actual posters, had a skim of the boards before the interview and thought "Oh, it's Loose Women slash Waitrose slash Nestlė boycotters", then have been given free reign to come up with their own pastiche of the site because the staff who do understand it are too busy with Important Stuff.

It's an issue which is really starting to show the cracks.

Of course they are good eggs but ...

I guess it's lucky they've got the odd 10,000 of us to keep a beady eye on them

Cracked?

I think it's been changed. At least the first point is not there anymore.

I dont think its good PR for the site at all. It is one thing to wade into a political debate as the voice of modern women, quite another to give advice worthy of a 1930's womens own journal. Makes them look a bit smug, stupid and out of touch

Why have you even got it, MN?

MNetters are quite happy to answer the same queries and offer the same advice over and over and over...

I agree with BOF actually. And Hully.

MNHQ are actually quite good at saying, "whoops, we fucked up" and taking something down and re-doing it, so I don't think that we can complain too much.

And it can't be easy coming into a new job, being told to do the relationship page and going through hundreds of posts to find the true MN advice.

They could have saved themselves the bother and just written:

Relationships - Affairs -

LEAVE THE BASTARD

Ok so we've re-jigged those pages including taking out the crappy bit about symptoms.

We'll also look at adding some content about the emotional side of how an affair/ being left for someone else feels.

"what needs did your partner had that he was looking to meet elsewhere? What could you do to meet those needs within your marriage?"

Well, I guess in the case of my wankerish ex, why he wasn't getting from the marriage was a single, child free tart with no morals to dote on his every whim. Short of selling our children there's not a lot I could do about that.

Soupy - you just weren't prepared to really try, were you?

Justine - why the editorial at all?

Yeah Soupy, you should have sold the kids, had the labiaplasty, got new boobs and laser treatment on the stretch marks. Bingo new handmaiden woman who is prepared to do whatever, to whomever, to ingratiate herself to men.

Soupy - you shoulda talked about the football.

Same reason as ever. To be useful. Gather wisdom in one place. Make is easy to find via search. Obviously the intention is for it to be good quality and reflective of site too. Something we didn't quite achieve in this case.

Set yourselves times when you can talk openly and honestly about the affair, but agree to keep it out of the conversation at other times. This is especially important if you have children, and don't want them to hear you rowing and trading insults over the 'other woman'.

This is just patronising bullshit.

Hully, I tried to sell the children - at one point I even had BabyDragon weighted at the baby clinic specifically to calculate the postage (although I did not mention this to the HV). All to no avail. [sigh]

weighed at the clinic.

Ah. Well that'll learn you to try and be helpful. Go back to the gin.