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Original poster

Anyone seen the new MN section on surviving an affair?

9 replies

Dozer · 19/01/2012 21:18

The info on there does not accord with the advice oft given on here.

I don't like it, smacks of pleasing-your-man.

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MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 20/01/2012 09:26

Hi all. Obviously that's not what we intended so we'll take a look at it today. Thanks for raising.

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 20/01/2012 12:07

Ok so we've re-jigged those pages including taking out the crappy bit about symptoms.

We'll also look at adding some content about the emotional side of how an affair/ being left for someone else feels.

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 20/01/2012 12:22

Same reason as ever. To be useful. Gather wisdom in one place. Make is easy to find via search. Obviously the intention is for it to be good quality and reflective of site too. Something we didn't quite achieve in this case.

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 20/01/2012 12:45

Well we are a much bigger team doing quite a lot of different things now and mistakes will happen. Sometimes that's about poor procedure, sometimes error of judgement. ( Either way I take full responsibility.) I do think some errors are inevitable tbh and the important thing is that we fess up and respond quickly to put them right which I think on the whole we do. I do broadly see most things we do as a work in progress. Everything is likely to be improved by a bit of mn scrutiny but In this instance we undoubtedly should have done better prior to publication and I apologize to anyone who was unduly angered/upset by reading it yesterday/this morning.

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 20/01/2012 17:57

@Charbon

Glad that some of this content has been deleted, but some of it is still awful, especially in the 'Is it ever okay to have an affair' section. That still has the message that there must be 'deep-seated' problems in the relationship for an affair to happen, with the implication too that the faithful partner is at fault. And it's still suggesting that date nights and talking about football might solve the problem.

Elsewhere, there's still that poster's quote about men and women being different and this is repeated in the Emotional Affairs section, suggesting that men view no-sex affairs differently. Try telling that to a man who was recently in the Relationships section posting about his wife's emotional affair Sad.

This is as insulting to men, as it is to women.

I'd suggest taking the whole section down completely until you can get someone better to write it.

Hi, apologies for absence, I've been out and about. Yes, agreed, we'll be taking down the "Ever Ok to Have an Affair" for a re-write. Not sure where the evidence re men and women being different stuff is from but we will check and amend if it's unfounded.

I don't agree that we can't produce content on relationships - we've done a fair amount before in the MN Books based on collective wisdom as well as on other controversial subjects in the parenting domain. There is a lot of useful/ true to MN stuff in the Relationships content we've just put up. But the Affairs content isn't right and we will do something about it soonest.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 21/01/2012 15:21

Hello,

This is just to let you know that we think we've now nuked all the links to 'Is it ever OK to have an affair?' - do let us know if we've missed any.

Thanks
MNHQ

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 23/01/2012 10:38

@SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan

yay for all links deleted - still wondering how the hell it made it to print though and how mnhq can act as if it was nothing to do with them Confused

I don't think we have, to be fair. I've apologised and said I take full responsibility for this cock-up. This was an error of editorial judgement and the lesson we've learned going forward is that more eyeballs need to see content before it's published.

MNHQ

GeraldineMumsnet · 28/01/2012 13:40

Hello, wanted to flag that we've amended the emotional affairs page and republished it, and that work's in progress on redoing/expanding surviving an affair, but that it won't be republished until next week earliest. Will post again once it's live.

Thanks to everyone who has posted here. And a general and belated apology: responsibility for commissioning and editing the Relationships content was mine. To say this thread, and the others, have given me pause for thought about how I misjudged the tone/content in the affairs articles would be a massive understatement.

Clearly, we'll be more vigilant in double - and triple - checking that our content properly reflects the wisdom and tone of the Talk boards. That, despite these articles failing to do so, is our overriding intention.

I've been off work for the past week - minus laptop - hence my delay posting. And I'm afraid I have to post and run now. But will, of course, check this thread at some other point this weekend, or latest Monday.

MNHQ

GeraldineMumsnet · 30/01/2012 09:31

@VirgoGrr

Have now located that quote on the 'Emotional Affair' page, so it's kind of quoting Annie out of context, I think.

Morning, we've removed that quote.

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