To separate from dp because I can't have a life of my own?

[Ja3]

Been with dp for 6 years and we have 2dc, but throughout this time all our arguments have been based around things I do to just try and be me which isn't very often.

For example going on facebook, talking to ex's or guys in general, going out with certain girlfriend's he doesn't approve of etc....

As much as I love him and want us to be together it seems that I can't have a life of my own separate from our relationship and it's making me feel trapped (at 24yrs old) and resentful as he does all the above and more without me complaining.

So I just wanted to know AIBU?

Op hope you are ok, please check in.....am signing of in a mo but will come back to this thread tomorrow, stay strong :)

I must apologise for my spelling it has been terrible

Listen - if you're marriage is in crisis - first off you don't go telling him that you're talking to your exes - that's going to fucking wind him up more.

As it stands right now she says she loves him and wants to be with him - so to me that means she wants to try and work it out with him first,

The majority on here want her to leave him - just like that! That's ridiculous as a first step - they've got a 2 year old.

You haven't finished reading the thread yet, have you ?

Animation - are you really saying she shouldn't go on facebook, talk to men, talk to her exs, or even go out with female friends so as not to wind her partner up? No one should have to live like that!

The OP says he won't change his controlling behaviour.

I don't don't doubt he's controlling - but many women have taken on controlling types and set boundaries that stick. You don't just run away straight off - you figure out a few assertive measures, and in the meantime don't go fucking winding him up talking about ex boyfriends.

We decided to separate last night so he's at work right now and will go to his place 2nite after he's passed by to talk 2 me

You caught up yet ?

If your relationship is in crisis NO - not a good idea to talk to exes - OPENLY!

that's right, do it behind his back

sorted

Er, the best way to fix a relationship is lies? Animation I think your idea of a good relationship is very far from mine.

animation, does your partner talk to exes on FB ?

and it upsets you ?

because if not, I see no reason why you would be quite so fixated on this very tiny piece of rather a large jigsaw

Anyfucker

Yes I read that bit - what of it?

That doesn't sound permanent to me - it's a CRISIS situation that's all. It can be worked out!

in your world, maybe, animation

I cannot believe another woman would tell a young girl like this that she should stay and "work out" a relationship with a turd like this

and warn her "not to fucking wind him up"

I fear you are in a poor situation yourelf

My OPINION is that telling your partner that you're talking to exes - WHEN you're in a crisis - is a BAD idea because it will INFLAME the situation.

That's my opinion!

I will no longer engage on this thread, unless Op comes back

although I fear her resolve will be weakened by idiots who obviously put up with this sort of shit themselves, thus urging other women to do it so they can feel better

it's the only explanation I can see

OP, update us if you can

if not on this this thread, several of us are very happy to chat to you by private message if you wish

all the best x

There is absolutely no debating this subject with you Animation.
I strongly disagree with the trivial point that you keep making over and over again.
You're wrong. I know you're wrong. Other people here think you are wrong too.

What's to debate?

I agree he might be behaving like a turd - but you're making this woman a victim when she's probably quite capable of standing up to him and setting her boundaries.

To drag it back to the OP for a second. Unfortunately, a lot of people that get together late teens/early twenties carry on treating each other like kids long after that phase has passed. Often they also resent having settled down quite so quickly and fell like they're missing out on youth. 'Starter marriages' they call it....

Sounds like it's broken down beyond repair which is sad when there are children involved. However, better to make a break rather than perpetuate the childish tit-for-tat and controlling behaviour. Good luck OP

"You're wrong. I know you're wrong. Other people here think you are wrong too."

Pictish - that's not debating - how am I wrong, and what am I wrong about?

Try not to resort to thuggery.

Thuggery?

I'm off to bed. OP - I really hope all ends well with you. No-one has the right to dictate how you live your life except YOU darling. All the very best xxx

"although I fear her resolve will be weakened by idiots who obviously put up with this sort of shit themselves, thus urging other women to do it so they can feel better"

Anyfucker - anyone who disagrees with you is an idiot then - is that how you win your arguments?

I agree with bits of what Animation has said, but fucking hell, I'm a bit reluctant to say which bits.

I can see what some posters mean when they talk about putting forward an opinion that disagrees with the main view taken and they get flamed to shit

I reckon the jumping up and down on Animations head was out of order.

I agree Agent. What a horrible attack on Animation. Disgraceful and shameful