The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

Zany - be careful with your heart sweets xx

JWN - you are awesome! I can picture the scene in the docs with you in your four inch heels telling the doc that you simply can not live without them

Oh, and STOP PROJECTING! xx

Apologies Zany, I didn't realise this wariness on your children's behalf extended to your friends and visitors.

Just a quick check, if anyone's around. Who's NOT drinking today?

Me

me so far, but we'll see how the day progresses!

Me - I am however gonna stuff my face with courgette and cheese muffins, which are currently in the oven!! Yummy

Me as well, and won't be drinking this evening either:)

hopefully me but I am struggling. Today's playdate turned out to be quite a lot of work, it's the last day of the school holidays ("I DESERVE it") etc. etc. Suspect that if I postpone the first drink long enough I'll be OK. Have broken out the cranberry cordial.

Try and postpone as long as possible legal, you don't want to wake with a hangover on the first day back at school!

Me, I won't be drinking today!

Hello strangers. I have been laptopless for a couple of weeks hence my absence. I still had my phone to post with but it's a pain in the bum so I couldn't be bothered. Lazy arse that I am.

I went to stay with my uncle for a week, he drinks like a fish. So, no meetings (abroad, no meetings in a 50mile radius) and booze on tap if I so chose. I chose not to . Watching my uncle drink himself to sleep every night was enough to remind me why I try not to do it at all any more (and succeed, largely!) Strangely enough I'm struggling a bit today. Stressful day at work followed by boredom whilst the kids do their own thing with their friends this afternoon is making me want to down at least one bottle of wine, possibly two

I suppose I should probably drag my arse off to a meeting tonight. I went to one last night and even though I really didn't want to and was dreading it a bit after a ten day break, it was really nice to see some of the people I've got to know.

I haven't read all the way back because it would take me all afternoon, but I hope you're all doing well and don't have too many major traumas to deal with x

legal fight the feeling sweetie, as obrig said, do you really want to get to the school first day feeling a little under the weather!

Well, this thread has cost me money today, have just been onto play.com and ordered Clarrissa D-W, Rosie Boycott and Augusten Borroughs books! And am now sitting desperately waiting for my muffin to cool down enough to ram into my mouth.

All in all a good day!

Good advice guys, I do want to be on my game in the morning and to restart the exercise regime. Muffin ingredients and trays arrived this am, so perhaps some early evening baking is in order...

am now sitting desperately waiting for my muffin to cool down

Sorry

holly Yep that didn't read too well did it , but twas delicious, thanks indie for the recipe

And I really should be getting on with my scrubbing . . .

< snigger, snort >

...as the actress said to the bishop.

Goodness me, so very childish - snort .

Not drinking here either.

But feeling very low tonight. Teary, demotivated, lethargic etc. I can't even find the energy to think about getting things ready for tomorrow. I can't even return my best friend's call. I just want to hide myself away from the world. Spent the morning in bed reading old threads, and the afternoon watching all my sky-plussed The Hours. DH sent me flowers at home today from him and DS, wishing me luck in my new job tomorrow. I feel like a fraud though, like I'm not worth their love and support.

It's so hard to know; am I a bit depressed? Do I drink because I'm depressed? Or am I depressed because I drink?

Sorry for me me me post.

Hey mOp sorry you are not feeling the boing tonight. Take care of yourself, it's early days, and your body will be so used to being self medicated with alcohol that it will be adjusting.
I really felt very low the first few weeks, but it was hard to tell whether that was due to lack of alcohol or just the shite that was going on in my life at the time!!
One thing that I do emphatically know about me, is that no problem or low mood cannot be made worse with the addition of alcohol to the mix, it may have dulled the pain briefly but the feelings always returned, with a little more self loathing thrown into the mix for good measure!!
Alcohol certainly depressed me, and although I have had some truly shite days in the last 9 months, none of them compare to how bad days were before.
Break your evening down into hours or 30 min slots and try and fill them, bath, book, chocolate, good film that you have been meaning to watch for ages.
Try to get to bed early, and remember you will feel so good about yourself in the morning.
Alcohol sapped all my self worth and self esteem, I felt like a fraud all the time, and constantly lived with the fear that I would be found out.
You know what, my kids and my family love me with my faults and flaws, they love me for who I am, and I am learning to love myself too, I just lost myself for a very long time at the bottom of a bottle of wine!!

Right totally rambly, really not sure I have helped at all, but gonna post and go and serve the tea.
Bafana
xxx

Hi MoP - don't presume to be any kind of expert on mental health so can only comment based on my own experience of depression. The wording of your post does sound a bit like the way that I think when I am mildly depressed - both the "I'm a fraud bit" and the self-criticism underlying the phrase "me,me,me". In my case I think that I drink because I'm depressed (I suffered from depression before I started drinking a lot, and don't think the drinking made me more depressed), however alcohol is widely recognised as a depressant and I know many people find that for them it's the other way around.

As you'll see from earlier up the thread, during the first four weeks of cutting back drinking I felt as if I'd been hit by a bus in terms of physical exhaustion. In fact I still feel pretty down and tired. I've googled it a fair bit (after feeling sorry for myself yesterday), this is not terribly unusual and apparently it can take a couple of months before things pick up.

whatever the case, I think you'll agree that alcohol is part of the problem and not the solution, that you don't want to have to repeat the last few days, and the only way forward is on and up! New jobs are always a challenge, but that can be exciting as well as scary, and sounds as though your family are excited and behind you!

Change the sheets, have a hot shower and put on some fresh pjs! Will make you feel much better and like you're having a fresh start to the day, even if it's evening time. I find fennel tea is a great pick me up when depressed (although that may be psychological). Fennel tea with toast and vegemite is the best. But if you're not a vegemite / marmite girl, a healthy dose of B vitamins (perhaps not liver. Have just recalled that a a child my mother used to dose me with brewers yeast powder. Urghh. It was disgusting).

Also - and this is very much a personal preference, I find that listening to the radio in a dimly lit room helps.

Good luck for tomorrow! (but sure you don't need it..). And hugs and sympathy and stuff - everyone else is much better at these than me and they will be along in due course.......

Glad I'm not the only one who had a little chuckle to herself at the thought of Bafana waiting for her muffins to cool down.

Just back from taking DS to his Dad's so they could have a bit of one to one time and hassle from him again. Just so so so sick of it all.

Don't worry Obrigada you weren't to know.
Thanks Mouse believe me my heart is safely behind closed doors with my DC's and family and friends with it

Trying to eat healthy and drink less but feel stressed at the mo, excuses excuses. Does a cheeseburger count as one of my five a day seen as it had onion in it?

Thanks legal. Shower and fresh pjs done! I'm an obedient Mistress me! And thanks too Banana.

I hadn't realised how dominated by moods I have become. And perhaps I am a little depressed. But alcohol is what I want to face up to first. Thing is, I think I'm so "functioning" because I have achieved a lot in the last few years. I thought that wine was helping me to cope with my busy life. And the Puritan in me never let myself skive too much, or neglect things, or take time out to "breakdown". But my preferred state secretly was to stay in bed all day. Hardly normal behaviour. Not that I know what normal is, having drunk heavily since I was 18.

Just been in to see sleeping DS. So adorable. Just reaffirms what I want out of life, which is to not be enslaved by something that I can't control. And I can't. Which is something I've never admitted before.

Thanks. This thread is helping me so much. Mainly because you take me and everyone else onboard seriously. I can't believe how far some of you have come. You're all inspirational.

Hi, alcohol has been a lifelong 'friend' of mine, causing nothing but trouble in my life. I hate the fact that it controls just about every aspect of my life! When i was pregnant with my children i stopped completely...so i often wonder why i can't do it now! I've lost jobs cos of it, had relationship breakdowns...the list goes on, yet it doesn't deter me to pour another glass of Chardonnay! I want to feel in control of my life instead of it controlling me!!!!! I usually have a couple bottles of wine in one sitting and vow the next day never to touch another drop...have a night off then start again following evening! i feel no one really understands how bloody hard it is to stop. :(

Just popping in again. Still grotty with this very persistent cold.

Take care mop hope tomorrow goes well.

You are doing so well Mistress. (Now that's a strange sentence). I feel like Ruby the downstairs scullery maid

Just keep it in the moment. I love bafana's idea of breaking time into 30 minute slots. Helps me to get things done as well. I have been really organised this afternoon and made a timetable to keep me occupied in the evenings after work. Usually I'm so knackered once I sit down I stay there with a bottle of wine and gawp at the telly all evening.