The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

ohhh isindi, isnt that where old people go to get those velcro sandals? oooohhh im shuddering now!!!! im off the the quacks tomorrow!

jwn am in flat shoes too, which is unheard of for me. Had some medical treatment which softens the bones and ligaments as a potential side effect so have to stay in flats for aaaages. I hate flats - oddly they make my feet feel tired whereas I can run for the bus in heels.

saf no apology needed, it was an interesting comment! I think its just a temp thing - I hope

fairie - no, he's not drinking, has just become annoying instead of drunk (maybe the booze blurred the annoyingess before) I think its just that I need to be in a selfish state of mind to succeed in what I'm doing (health recovery, booze, etc) and I tend to flap about him possibly drinking instead of focussing on myself and what i need to do. Super selfish of me - he's in agonies about his Dad, so am trying to hide it ATM.

obrigada hang on in there - you will discover your inner Tigger sometime soon, I'm sure

ma hope the boiled shite feeling has gone - I know that one very well.

Off to do DDs bedtime, will come back later.

inde they sound wonderful!

I have 160 fairy cakes to bake between now and Thursday, plus two birthday cakes. I wonder (and I am being serious) if this might be a step towards getting notevenamousie's cake shop off the ground... maybe, just maybe if I was back at work part time in the coming months I might have the courage to go for it in some way? (My family/ friends/ colleagues just laugh but I feel really fulfilled by feeding people!)

Anyway, 30 chocolate cupcakes and one big raspberry ripple marble cake are baked and awaiting icing

ma it doesn't have to be like this. The feeling you describe, that is how life in sobriety gets to feel for me. I spent yesterday evening surrounded by friends with hugs and honesty. Of course it's not all plain sailing. I also spent the latter part of the evening talking to a friend who had been sexually assaulted. Life is crap but even that was a benefit of sobriety for me to be able to be there.

Can't quite keep up with everyone else - and I have this naive parent of a 4 year old and no car view that I will never be a taxi service, oh no, so venus, ma and thurso will be laughing at me in 10 years and it becomes one of those things like the sweets she wasn't going to have, she wouldn't ask for McDonalds by name, or watch more than half an hour's TV at a time. Yeah right.

Love to all x

Jesus in flat shoes ?
Faints.

Looking forward to finding my inner Tigger TBOM:)
Am very unadventorous --disaster- in the kitchen, so I think the cookbook Thurso was putting together for her son would be more beneficial to me than all your lovely recipes , so Thurso if you want to share your recipes with me I would be delighted .... [begging emotion]

Have another shocking admission to make .... not for the love of man or money can I walk in high heels ..... runs and hides

obrigada I am with you there

It's a terrible thing to admit but I can neither cook nor walk in heels. Do you remember the sitcom 'Butterflies'? My cooking is like Ria's

I'm not too good a dancing either . . . even in flats. And my charming dcs tell me I cannot sing for toffee. Apart from that I am lovely and am sure I have well hidden talents

Just a quick HI. Catching up on thread and will post in a bit

I am not a baker, so very impressed by all the muffin / cupcake / cake efforts going on. Am sufficiently inspired by the idea of a savoury muffin to give it ago - have just edited my online grocery order and added some courgettes and muffin pans! Will report back tomorrow on my success or otherwise.

Definitely a converse rather than a jimmy choo kind of girl. But then I am a student .

Afternoon Brave Babes

Did you miss me?

Hello to all of the new Babes but WHERE IS THAT MIFLAW? I'm getting a bit worried now actually, I think I'm going to PM him. Has anyone heard from him at all?

I have read the pages I've missed but my head is now a blank again, sorry

And I forgot you were away thurso

We had a lovely weekend away up in sunny Ripon, and enjoyed a walk to a waterfall on Sunday which I am paying for in the pain department. Far too much uneven ground and now I'm super sore. Oh well, that'll teach me.

Nemo had a fantastic time and has actually slept the last three nights all the way through. Me thinks I'm going to have to keep him busy, physically and mentally to get him to sleep. Easier said than done when I'm not so grand.

He's been out with his respite worker again today and the Wickes chap came round to look at the state of the place. He's going to pass it on as the damage caused is horrific and needs to go to a higher power!

Other than that, life is good here. MIL is staying at the moment as she's no longer allowed to be on her own. I'm so worried about her.......

Nemo has just had a physio visit and she wants to get him some special shoe cups and ankle supports as his feet turn in rather a lot. It seems to be that they cross one thing off and we get another thing in it's place!

Anyway, he is still uber gorgeous and I'm going to stcik a piccy of TheWolf on my profile.

It's of him in the space where our friend's cat flap used to be until he decided that he didn't like it!!

Good to be back. Did some drinking but not much. I have about 5 glasses of cider all weekend and a pint at the pub. I'm very pleased with myself.

Thanks Isinde. Perhaps you're right about our drinking culture. Not everyone is pouring alcohol down their necks at the rate I am. I just don't notice it because I'm too busy getting hammered. My friends are often in awe of the amount I can consume. Maybe not in awe actually. Probably shocked. It just depends who I'm with. I have a friend with whom 4-5 bottles between us is not unusual on a Friday/ Saturday night. And my dad (who I recently stayed with) is a heavy but functioning drinker. Large g&ts before dinner, few bottles of wine with dinner, whisky before bed. And if it's the weekend it all starts late morning with beers.

Isinde, your words were kind and encouraging. And the muffins sounded great!

I've had a long nap today and done nothing productive which isn't helping the anxiety/guilt. But I feel 100% confident that I won't be drinking today. The advice about taking it one day at a time is really helpful. This way you don't have to make a big announcement: "I've given up drinking everyone". This way it's more: "I don't fancy a drink today". Even if that's a lie. My circle of friends could handle that I think!

Does anyone else google sober celebrities? Or just me who is that tragic? I find it quite inspiring to see who else has admitted to having a problem with alcohol. Does anyone have any recommendations for autobiographies, or blogs for that matter? I find reading about other people's highs and lows helps a lot and makes me feel as though I'm not alone. Which inknow I'm not thanks to you all .

Off to pick up the wee man in a minute. Then spending the evening cooking sage and sea salt belly pork for DH in an attempt to feel like a good person.

Looking forward to going back to bed already though. Definitely having a down day, but it's inevitable after a drinking binge.

How is everyone else?

Hi mistress, I am fighting the early evening demon but based on past experience am reasonably confident it will be defeated if I sort myself out a cold drink soonish. Sadly have run out of cordial and slimline tonic so will need to be diet coke, which I'm not that keen on.

Am making a recipe which calls for white wine and instead of opening a full bottle (or defrosting my left over half bottle) I went to the shop and bought the teenyist bottle of white wine ever (about 150ml). never knew such things existed! It doesn't look like something I would enjoy drinking instead of cooking with, it has to be said. May have to take my own advice re freezing wine in ice block trays for future use.

Caught up with a friend and she and DH have just decided to give up weekday drinking for financial and weight loss reasons. Seems to be a lot of it about.

Let me know if you need me to send out a search party for MIFLAW, from his previous posts I suspect I may have the privilege of living physically nearest

The sugar may do you good legal. Is there sugar in diet coke? I have had a few liquorice allsorts to put me on til dinner. We don't usually eat until about 7.30pm.

I imagine there are loads of sober celebrities MoP because many of them barely eat let alone drink 'empty' calories. Lightweights

MoP I totally agree with the phrase you suggested about not drinking 'today'. I was similar to you (in many ways) and I could not imagine the impact on my life and socialising and lunching if I wasn't drinking. I could not bear to say that I was in such trouble that I wouldn't ever drink again. I could neither bear to think it for myself, or think of saying it to my friends. So my life is littered with lots of "I think I'll start with an orange and soda, I'm really hot and thirsty" or "I've got a bit of a headache at the moment, I think I'll just have a cup of tea" or "I'm having a couple of days of the booze, so I've brought the car and I'll just have fizzy water"...... etc.

Like others on here, I soon noticed that even my hard drinking friends had more days off the booze than I did, that a night out with me was seen as a really big one, the once-a-month type, whereas I was doing it a couple of nights a week, with different friends each time.

I have also recognised that my "high-functioning alcoholic" was only functioning well if compared to some pretty slipped standards

OMG we just had a bat flying around my living room! It must have come in through the open front door (hardy types, us). It was surprisingly large and incredibly beautiful.
Just wanted to tell you, my friends, about it.

ma hugs coming your way from me x

All going well so far. Have had lots of water and tonics with ice while cooking.

I found the very first thread eventually and I just can't believe how inspiring Jesus's story is. I seem to have become addicted to this thread; DH is going to think I'm having an affair! I haven't told him that I'm not drinking. He will think that's far too extreme. I'm just going to see how it all goes.

Can't stop eating today.

thanks for ths hugs guys - lights are flickering on and off here so maybe a power cut pending.....
indie how very dare you! Gratuitous smut??? On this thread? Where?
Still very tired , going to bed soon

MoP just wanted to say that I am going through a bit of a phase of alcoholic type autobiographies. I have finished Rosie Boycott's which was good and am about 2/3 of the way thru' Augusten Burroughs which is brilliant, hilarious and tragic. He was about my age when he stopped but there the similarities end, yet I have got so much from it. Because I have found AA works for me, I have tended to read those who have used 12 step recover programs but there are others out there. I think I'm going to request Eric Clapton's autobiography from the library. So no, on that you aren't alone!

I've had a good day. Wow - who would have thought I would or could say that a year or even 6 months ago.

noteven I meant to say earlier that I think your idea for some sort of cake making business is great. I know that lots of people will quote gloom and doom about the recession, but I'd say that it's more gloomy not to live your dream.

I've been self-employed for 9 years. Love it.

Clarissa dickson wright's autobiography is a brilliantly written cautionary tale about the perils of alcohol addiction. I read it when it first came out - must try and find it and re-read.

Have been good this evening - found a bottle of tonic at the back of the fridge, but am feeling sorry for myself as now week five and am still feeling physically / mentally worse than when drinking. Clearly not a potential poster girl for abstinence. May change my name to onedaymyboingwillcome at this rate.

Re business idea, I reckon the challenge is to predict the next big thing after cupcakes. We've had muffins, krispy creme donuts.... What next? Personally I'd like to see more lamingtons on the menu. An perhaps some other 70s retro items - things involving Ginger, banana cake with dessicated coconut sprinkled over the icing, and coconut biscuits with glacé cherries. Thinking about it we used to have a lot of things involving dessicated coconut.

snowballs? My dh is addicted to Victoria Sponge cake.

Just popping in to mark my place. Off to work again soon. Catch up later.

Morning all.

Yesterday I did not drink and today I will not be drinking.

Feeling ok actually. Bit achey in places but I have another easy day ahead before starting work tomorrow.

Thanks to noteven and legal for the book recommendations. I'll have to get hold of them.

Now, what's for breakfast?...

Morning all,

Mouse I'm so glad that you had a good weekend, I hope you had a good rest last night, and that your aches and pains are easing off. How wonderful that Nemo slept through the night, perhaps he can teach me how to do it?

Last night I was awake so many times, and had lots of dreams about when the Dc's were younger. Not so hard to understand at the moment, I suppose.

I'm sorry not to remember, but, is there someone on here who's DD is going to Uni this year. I'm sure I spoke to someone about it, but, can't temember who. Anyway, how are you doing with it? I have DC1 leaving on Saturday, to a flat of his own , and Dc2 going 3 weeks later, I'm finding a slight feeling [hmm} of complete desolation passing over me at times.

Back to work today, but only for the morning.
I hope everyone is having a good early morning. Ma my sweetheart, I hope you feel better than yesterday, big duvet style hug on it's way.

Much love
xxxx

P.s MIFLAW If you don't feel like posting, please could you just let us know that you are alright? [virtual friend worrrying emoticon].